Death & Dying

The Menstuff® library lists pertinent books concerning death. See also Issues Health.

• Becker, Ernest, Denial of Death, MacMillan, 1973
• Bolen, Jean Shinoda, Close to the Bone: Life-threatening illness as a soul journey. This is a wise companion and guide for people whose lives are changed by a life-threatening illness. When you or a loved one are facing such a situation, sharing this book helps deepen and connect people to what they know "in their bones." A serious illness is a crisis for the body and the soul. The first scary symptom, ominous scan, or abnormal blood test begins a descent into the metaphoric underworld. Powerful ancient myths such as the Abduction of Persephone, the Descent of Inanna, and the last task of Psyche provide us with insights into illness as a soul journey. The author's telling of these powerful myths, helps us respond to the stories as metaphors for our experience and for the potential psychological and spiritual growth that a brush with death or onset of disability can bring. Sometimes the soul is healed and the body does not recover. Sometimes the possibility of death followed by the return of health serves as a wake-up call and turning point. Life for everyone is a terminal condition, after all. How we respond to unchosen circumstances shapes who we are and provides intimations about the meaning of our particular life. www.jeanbolen.com, Red Wheel, www.rewheelweiser.com 2007, ISBN 978-1-57324-303-2
• Buck, Jari Holland, 24/7 or Dead: A handbook for families with a loved one in the hospital. The fifth leading cause of death in American hospitals is medical mistakes. Church leaders who offer comfort and counsel to sick individuals and their families are frequently asked "Is there anything else I can do?" The best answer any of us previously had was, "Pray." Now, we can and must do more to prevent our loved one from becoming part of the medical mistake death statistics. This book is a guidebook that describes advocacy techniques on behalf of a hospitalized loved one. It provides 14 practical suggestions illustrated by real life examples and check-lists to ensure that even in emotionally charged situations, advocacy can be accomplished. This book also addresses personal care, without which advocacy is not possible. It is designed to encourage and support family members in the process of reclaiming the "power of partnership" with the healthcare community. It is geared for the medically untrained family member who needs a step-by-step process for educating themselves and partnering with healthcare professionals to improve the health and comfort of the patient. www.27-7ordead.com Author House, www.authorhouse.com, 2006, ISBN 1-4208-5982-X
• Chethik, Neil, Fatherloss: How sons of all ages come to terms with the deaths of their dads. Sigmund Freud called it "the most poignant loss" of his life. Actor Sean Connery termed it "a shattering blow." Writer Norman Mailer likened it to "having a hole in your tooth. It's a pain that can never be filled." The experience of losing a father - no matter when or how it occurs - tests the strength and resilience of a son. In the worst of circumstances, the loss can propel a son toward despondency; in the best, it can inspire in him a new appreciation for his life and loves, and move him with urgency to make the most of his remaining years. Based on a landmark national survey of more than 300 men, and in-depth interviews with 70 others, this book is a rich and nuanced exploration of one of the most common and least studied events in men's lives. The book offers a fresh view of the male grieving process and practical advice to help guide sons through the loss of their fathers, no matter what stage of life the son is in when the death occurs. The author original research is fascinating and often surprising. His study finds, for example, that a man's relationship with his spouse or partner is twice as likely to get better than worse after the death of his father. The book also offers portraits of John F. Kennedy, Jr., Michael Jordan, Ernest Hemingway, and other well-known men, focusing on how they came to terms with the deaths of their fathers. And in the closing chapter, the author, the father of a seven-year-old son, shares what he learned about being a father during his three years of research. Compelling and compassionate, this is an extraordinary resource for anyone facing the death of a father, or still adjusting to such a loss that occurred years or even decades ago. See another review at www.kentuckyconnect.com/health/stories/men/0109father_loss.htm Hyperion, www.HyperionBooks.com 2001 ISBN 0-7868-6532-6 Buy This Book!
• Colgrove, Melba, How to Survive the Loss of a Love:  A different kind of guide to overcoming all your emotional hurts, Bantam, 1988
• Colgrove, Melba, Surviving, Healing & Growing:  The workbook on how to survive the loss of a love, Prelude, 1991
• Di Giulio, Robert, After Loss:  Survival lessons from an author who learned, WRS, 1993
• Feinstein, David, Rituals for iving & Dying:  How we can turn loss & the fear of death into an affirmation of life, Harper, 1990
• Foos-Graber, Anya, Deathing:  An intelligent alternative for the final moments of life, Nicolas Hays, 1989
• Kubler-Ross, Elisabeth, On Children & Death, Collier, 1983
• Legato, Marianne, Why Men Die First: How to lengthen your lifespan. It is a universal fact that men die before women, and until recently we have accepted this trend as normal. In this book the author examines the reasons that men are more susceptible to illness and explains what they need to do to live longer. She tackles the everyday health problems that assail men. Marshaling the latest research, and wisdom gleaned from thirty years of treating patients, she delves into problems that both men and women care about, including: How men's reluctance to speak frankly to their physicians can kill them. The hormonal shift called "andropause" the male menopause, and therapies that alleviate its painful symptoms. Men's biological predisposition to infection and how best to protect against it. The real causes of male depression and how to treat it. The risks inherent to the male heart, and ways to correct coronary disease - even late in life. Warm, groundbreaking, and informative, this book will irrevocably change the way we think of men's lives, health and happiness. Palgrave Macmillan, www.palgrave.com, 2008, ISBN 0-230-60517-6
• Levine-Stephen, Healing into Life & Death, Doubleday, 1984
• Levine, Stephen, Unattended Sorrow: Recovering from loss and reviving the heart. What does unattended sorrow look like? It is like a low-grade fever; it troubles our sleep and drains away our days; it scatters intuition and creates an underlying anxiety; it sours the eye and the ear and leaves a distaste in the mouth; it's the vague uncertainty that permeates every thought before every action; it's the heart working as hard as it can. It's what most of us carry with us from day to day. And it's what the author, a renowned grief counselor, focuses on here. He writes that long after the initial loss has passed and the "period of grieving" has ended, an unattended sorrow lingers, accounting for a host of physical, emotional, and spiritual maladies. It's not uncommon, then, for those with unresolved grief to lean toward addictions or dangerous behaviors or other forms of self-destruction. He addresses the grief from fresh loss but also attends to the pain and troubles caused by the unresolved anguish, sadness, and delayed stress that can accumulate over a lifetime - whether it's angst caused by death, the loss of self-identity, childhood abuse, illness, divorce, or even just being alive in today's world. He notes that though we may never wholly overcome the sorrows we've endured, we can confront them with mercy and self-acceptance that smoothes the path to healing the heart. www.warmrocktapes.com, Rodale Press, rodalestore.com, 2005, ISBN 1-59486-065-3,
• Levine, Stephen, Who Dies?  An investigation of conscious living and conscious dying, Doubleday, 1982
• O'Nana, Stewart, A Prayer for the Dying. Dark, poetic and chilling, this book asks if it's possible to be a good man in a time of madness. Set in leafy Friendship, Wisconsin, just after the Civil War, it opens harmlessly on a languid summer day; only slowly do events reveal themselves as sinister, bloom gentley into a shared nightmare, as one nieghbor after another succumbs to a creeping, always fatal disease. Our sole witness to this epidemic is Jacob Hansen, Friendhip's sheriff, undertaker and pastor, a man with a large heart and conscience. As the disease engulfs his town, breeding hysteria, Jacob must find a humane way to save those he loves, short of calling a full quarantine and boarding up the sick in their houses. And what of the tramps slipping nightly through the tinderdry woods, and the spiritualists from the city camped on the edge of town with their charismatic leader, Chase?  Who will bury the dead properly, if not Jacob? This is a rare and scary book and the author's most astounding achievement yet, a sunlit Gothic painted in shimmering prose that darkens and disturbs your complacency the further you go into it, until - as in the best Poe and Flannery O'Connor - there is no turning back. Henry Holt www.henryholt.com 1999 ISBN 0-8050-6147-9 Buy this book!
• Pinkson, Tom, Do They Celebrate Christmas in Heaven?, Wakan
• Staidacjer. Carp;. Beyond Grief:  A Guide for Recovering from the Death of a Loved One, New Harbinger, 1994
• Weltner, Peter, The Risk of His Music. "Weltner portrays vividly his characters: gay vets of Vietnam, Southern hayseeds sprouted in all the wrong hometown settings, and perhaps most interestingly, male lovers who've lived and aged together long enough to witness the general decline of things in the middle America where they've chosen to live, and who must then finally, as do any 'married couples', see each other through to burial at the bitter end." Edmund White. A book that is profoundly gay yet universally valid. Graywolf, 1996