|
The humor of Hopelessly Heterosexual,
comes out of the heterosexual man's homophobia
clashing with his sexual curiosity, not from any
ridicule or negativity. Gay men and lesbians in our
culture face incredible rejection, because our
society is so "hopelessly heterosexual". This
song’s good for discussons on heterosexism and
homophobia, to friendship, male bonding and the
origins of our sexuality. There are things about
ourselves that we don’t choose; things we
discover as we go on living. Our sexual orientation
is one of them. Why would a twelve year old boy
choose to be gay, when he knows he’ll be
shunned by his straight friends? The marvelous
process of exploring and discovering our sexuality
is severely squashed by the traditional sex role
expectations in our culture.
Hopelessly Heterosexual
I’m hopelessly, heterosexual
I guess I’m kinda slow
Mom and Dad were all I had
That’s the only way I know, so
I’m hopelessly, heterosexual
I’m stuck with being straight
So man-to-man I’ll ask you
Not to ask me for a date!
When I’m with you I’m happy
When you’re with me you’re gay
I love you like a brother
But not the other way!
Now I’m not scared to try it
But it’s not my cup of tea
I never even thought of it
Til you brought it up to me
And now that I consider it
I’d rather stay repressed
Cause I don’t feel excited at
The thought of you undressed!
I’m hopelessly heterosexual
You know I’m not a tease
I’m a product of society
So don’t be angry, please!
I’m hopelessly heterosexual
And I hate to be a bore
But I’d rather watch the Super Bowl
Than sit here and explore!
I’m flattered that you asked me
But that’s the way things have to be
Cupid’s kinda stupid
He hit you and he missed me!
But since we’re on the subject
And you know where I stand
What exactly do you do?
I guess, use your hand?
I mean, do you, how does,
What if, where will? From behind!!
Oh well, I just, you know,
It was, (gulp!) NEVERMIND!!
I’m hopelessly, heterosexual
And I don’t mean to offend
So don’t hold it against me
And I’ll be your best friend
No, don’t hold it against me
And please be my best friend!!
Written by Peter Alsop,
©1981, Moose School Music (BMI)
* * *
Peter
Alsop is a nationally known singer-songwriter,
educator and humorist with a Ph.D. in educational
psychology. He graduated from Trinity College in
Connecticut and did his doctoral work at Columbia
University's Teachers' College and Columbia Pacific
University. He worked as the Director of The Harbor
Schools Residential Treatment Center for
emotionally disturbed adolescents in Maine and as a
New York City elementary school teacher in the
South Bronx ghetto.
Peter has produced nineteen
audio recordings and seven videos and dvd's for
which he consistently wins "Best Children's" awards
from Parents' Choice and the Association For
Independent Music. His songs are used daily by
thousands of parents, educators and human service
professionals to help families discuss sensitive
issues. His "Wake Up" video with John Ritter helps
families prevent child abuse and abduction. He's
acted on stage and on television, directed a
feature film, and performs extensively at
conferences, festivals and concerts throughout the
United States, Canada as well as hosting an annual
training workshops at his Otter Space conference
center in Northern California. He lives in Topanga,
California with his wife, actress/director Ellen
Geer, and their two daughters Willow and Megan.
Contact: Moose School Productions, Box 960,
Topanga, CA 90290 or 310-455-2318 or
E-Mail
or peteralsop.com
Contact
Us |
Disclaimer
| Privacy
Statement
Menstuff®
Directory
Menstuff® is a registered trademark of Gordon
Clay
©1996-2023, Gordon Clay
|
