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November
Pursuing Your Wife - After the Wedding
Everybody knows that single men like to pursue
women, especially the special ones they hope to
keep with them forever. A man will bring his
beloved flowers, plan beautiful evenings, and even
share his deepest feelings with her.
But what happens after the wedding? It
doesn’t take long for a man to move his
attention to something else, whether it’s his
work, friends or sports. He assumes that special
woman is his now, and he relaxes and gives up the
pursuit. He believes that he can stop the chase
because he’s caught his quarry. She’s on
his side now, so there’s no longer a need for
charming her.
When she begins to criticize and complain about
his behavior, he’s surprised and disappointed.
His reaction is, “I thought she was with me.
Why is she causing so much trouble? What does she
want out of me?” His wife, of course, wants
what she saw in him when he was courting her. She
wants that man who was so open, loving, intimate
and caring.
Over and over, what I hear from women is that
they want that man back, the one who was alive,
interested and involved in the relationship. When
women start to lose hope in their marriage,
it’s very often because they feel neglected,
and they want more attention and energy from their
men. In other words, they want their men to be
present with them again. In courtship a man is
fully there, he’s fully present and attentive.
He listens and cares for his woman’s welfare.
He takes responsibility for changing his bad habits
and weak points and he goes out of his way to show
he loves her.
My advice for men is to start the pursuit again.
Don’t let your spouse do all the heavy lifting
to keep the relationship afloat. For instance: line
up a nice evening on Saturday night; put energy
into listening; appreciate and compliment your
mate’s positive attributes; and go out of your
way to show you love her. Then, keep it up. Your
new, ongoing pursuit will re-capture your
woman’s heart and bring excitement and love
back into your life. Isn’t that worth
doing?
©2010, Marty
Friedman
* * *
Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is
threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people
together through the years. - Simone Signoret
Martin
G. Friedman is the author of “Straight
Talk for Men About Marriage—What Men Need to
Know About Marriage (And What Women Need to Know
About Men)”. For
many years, Marty Friedman taught corporate
managers how to create good relationships at work
before tackling male/female relationship
issues--and applying what he learned to his own
marriage. The founder of Men in Marriage, Marty is
regularly interviewed on radio and television, and
talks to organizations and individuals from a
unique, inspirational and humorous perspective.
Find out more at www.meninmarriage.com
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