November
Technique #6: Take Care of Yourself
We all want love. Lots of it. The more the better.
Throughout recorded history, men of all ages have
asked the same question: How can I get women
to love me?
Last month, we explored Technique #5: Speak
Truth. Here is Technique #6:
Take Care of Yourself
Women don't want to be the Mom in a
relationship, nor do they want to be managers. They
have to do enough of that with work, friends, kids,
and the world. They don't want to have to remind
you about your dentist appointment, to pick your
socks up off the floor, to call your parents or
your kids, or that the faucet STILL needs fixing.
They don't want to have to remind you to take a
shower or comb your hair. They want equal
co-creators. That excites them.
As much as men hate to be nagged, women really
hate to have to nag. They don't like themselves
when they do it, and they don't like you when they
have to do it. If they take the role of Mom, the
sexual passion goes downhill fast for both
of you.
Be a big boy. Take care of yourself without
being reminded of all the things you already know
you are supposed to do, or agreed to do. Don't
agree to something you don't want to do. And if you
don't want to do something, say so clearly. Don't
say, Yeah, Ill get to that later,
as a way of putting her off and then never getting
to it. Say, I won't be able to find time for
that until after the next business trip. or,
I think we'd be better off hiring someone to
take care of that, or I don't really
think this is quite as important as you do, so I'm
not likely to get to it. Is there something else I
can do, so that you can take care of this in a
timely manner? Or, I'm really not good
at that sort of thing, do we know someone who
is? (This last one is a real stretch for a
lot of guys, but it's better than doing it poorly
and then getting criticized for something you
didn't really want to do in the first place.)
A woman's favorite words (next to I love
you. and You look great.) are:
I've got it handled. It's music to
their ears. Then they can relax and do their own
thing, which isn't management, but being creative
and loving you.
Taking care of yourself also means taking care
of your body. Amazingly, there are still some men
who dont know that they should shower every
day (with soap), use deodorant, and keep their
fingernails (and toenails) clean and neatly shaped.
With some exceptions, women like men who take care
of their bodies, who care about their looks. If
youre one of the clueless, get some clues
from mens magazines like GQ and Mens
Health. Ask your girlfriend to help you go shopping
for new clothes (this is the moment theyve
been waiting for). Most men dont mine making
small adjustments to please women, so invite them
to help you improve. If you dont already
exercise or do yoga or dance, start. Become
fascinated by your body, and look for ways to take
care of it. Think of it as your Temple of Worship.
Youre the caretaker.
Look around your environment. What would your
mother say? If you can hear her harping to
Clean up your room! you probably
should. Do the basics, then ask your woman for her
help redecorating. Again, shell be thrilled,
and youll get a better environment out of it.
You dont have to become a cleaning fanatic,
but dont be a pig. Thats what we did as
teenagers to rebel against Mom. Be an adult. Take
care of yourself.
When you implement these 14 techniques into your
life, you will be transformed into the kind of man
that women love. Some of these shifts take a lot of
internal work, for example changing some of your
old habits. Some of them are as easy as adopting a
different point of view. Let me know of your
successes and your struggles, your thoughts,
suggestions and additions. I welcome your
emails.
Next Month: Get Over Yourself.
©2010 Lion
Goodman
* * *
Lion Goodman
is an executive coach and "evocateur" who helps
individuals create extraordinary success, happiness
and results in their lives. He is a
widely-published author, workshop leader, public
speaker, and a successful businessman. He has
studied and explored the realms of psychology,
spirituality, and business mastery for more than 35
years. He brings these decades of learning and
growth to others through his workshop,
Everyday Awakening: Practical Techniques for
Waking Up Into Joy. He is also a co-founder
of The Mens Tribe in Northern California
which offers men an initiation into principle-based
living. He resides in the San Francisco Bay Area
with his partner, author and workshop leader Anodea
Judith. This series of articles are excerpts from
his e-book, How To Get Women To Love
You, which is available on his website:
www.everydayawakening.com
or lion@everydayawakening.com
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