George Daranyi
I have seen our new MKP Chairman George Daranyi for
the past several years at our annual business
meetings, quietly counseling with our
organizations leadership. I could sense that
his experience was honored by them, and his opinion
valued.
It feels right to me that Daranyi stepped in for
a year to finish Jim Mitchells two-year
term.
Before I spoke with him, I checked out his
website: www.georgedaranyi.com/
Hes a damn POET! I read each of his poems
starting with the one most powerful for
me:
Tethered
Would you rather be tethered?
Or, untethered?
Staked?
Or, unstaked?
Loose in the field? '
Or, tied to something?
Here I stand
I shall go no further
Here we stand
We shall go no further
Tethered,
I turn this way and that
I walk toward the sun
Then, away
I walk in my shoes
Then, barefoot
A small groove appears
Blisters
Then, a deeper groove
Bloodied
Finally, I cannot see
Here I stand
I shall go no further
Here We stand
We shall go no further
Untethered
I run this way and that
First I follow the sun
Then it follows me
First in my shoes
Then, barefoot
Blisters
Blood
No path, no groove, no deep hole
No stand, no stake, no tether
Would you rather be tethered?
Or, untethered?
Staked?
Or, unstaked?
Loose in the field?
Or, tied to something?
Here I stand
Here We stand
©2005,
George Daranyi
After reading it, I yelled out loud to myself,
Hes a true Jungian!
Here's a man who I believe knows how to hold the
tensions and conflicts in a good way - including
the challenges of what's happening in The ManKind
Project International.
Oh, yeah
I like how Jung talks
about holding the tension of the opposites,
the new Chairman began on the phone with me.
One of the definitions of maturity for me is
defined by the ability to hold things together in
greater and greater tension. Its not easy to
hold those expanding polar opposites and keep them
from shattering before the transformation occurs.
Most people want to hold onto just one direction,
and hold on too tightly. Its very
uncomfortable to contain lifes
tensions.
Daranyi has been involved in the visioning
process for the past five years weve been
struggling with it. Hes lead many of the
group encounters at Glen Ivy to help discover
exactly who we are.
We began the exploration of what MKP would
look like 50 years from now in a traditional way,
the way businesses do it, he explained.
As an organization we have pursued a mission
statement similarly to what we do on an NWTA after
the Little Boys Deepest Needs were met. In
hindsight, I see this as a trap. We did not do the
real work which is answering this question:
'Foundationally, what is the passion, the
excellence, and the driver of our success? And,
what is the intersection of those three
points?'
We discovered last year, at the end of our
process on Vision/Mission that our primary purpose
had been to initiate men into missions of service.
Its the thing weve done best since 1985
running NWTA trainings and offering
I-Groups. Weve developed 40 communities, have
had several hundred trainings per year, and
initiated thousands of men. But, I have felt for
sometime, and others have also shared with me since
Glen Ivy in 2007, that our primary purpose is
actually bigger than that. Then I read Jim Collin's
book about moving an organization from Good to
Great, and his section on the hedgehog."
In Glen Ivy this year Daranyi taught the
assembled group of men about the principle of a
hedgehog an animal that does one thing
really well, i.e., roll up in a ball to protect
itself and who then grows old, fat and happy, from
Collins book, From Good to Great.
[Check out David
Kaar's review .]
I personally believe we need a different
and much broader and more useful language than what
weve been using, one that incorporates our
real hedgehog: we are a mens leadership
training organization. Were not just
initiators; not just providers of space for our
NWTAs and I Groups; but we teach men how to
be leaders in every area of their life - were
a leadership training organization. The past
chairman, Jim Mitchell, and I have had this on
going dialogue for quite some time now, and we just
need to embrace it at he institutional level."
This had echoes for me of what Don Jones told me
years ago
that we are the worlds best
place to acquire leadership skills.
And, George, wont this be an easier way to
market what we do?
In plain English, leadership is something
anybody on the street can understand. The ideas of
initiation trainings, pursuing the sacred
masculine, battles on the insider or outside,
shadows, facing shadows
those ideas are all
inward looking conversations. Its code we
understand in the membership of MKP great
for our own circle, but it has little meaning for
the external world.
The Chairman said he will be a cheerleader for
the next year in keeping all of the
organizations decisions focused on leadership
development.
It was good that weve done our
inward focus for ourselves, but we didnt
answer the simple outward question: Hey, who
are you guys? What do you stand for? We can
now do that. If were clear about our
hedgehog, then our vision and mission will
evolve.
Folks
men, I have to say, as your humble
Editor that Im so on board with George and
this idea! Ive stayed in MKP for 13 years
because Ive seen my own leadership skills
grow. I have found leadership opportunities on
NWTAs, and even more so in I-Group work,
community leadership, and in my own personal
life.
Most men havent been able to
language how to broaden our scope of MKP leadership
in a good way, the Chairman continued.
When I came off my weekend, two things
happened; I knew I was standing as a man among men
- I had found my place in a circle of men. It was
the most profound thing Id been searching my
whole life for - where I could fit in. When I heard
the drumming, and throughout the Heroes Journey,
and finally getting my Talisman; I looked around
and said to myself, This is it. This is where
I belong.
The second piece that Daranyi said he received
on his NWTA, was a clarity about his mission in
life.
I realized I needed to be in service to
the world in some way. I had to align my life to
serve a broader good. I had never captured that
before then. I had never been grounded in a
congruent way around service to mankind. Those were
the two big things: I belong with men, and Im
in service.
I told George that my leadership had taught me
to take care of myself, first. I had to learn how
to be my own leader.
That is one level of leadership, he
noted. And men also want to learn how to run
groups of men. Weve forgotten where MKP came
from - mens circle and mens
communities. Now that were one generation
into this work, part of our give-back is through
open circles and I-groups.
Daranyi has been one of the strongest proponents
and examples of Open Circles. He eventually had to
leave our conversation to get ready for his every
other Wednesday night Open Circle.
Robert Blys never been initiated! We
dont have any problem with him. We have
believed wrongly that men need us
we need
the men. I see our organization growing and our
arrogance being penetrated.
He spoke in glowing terms about a man who he has
played golf with, who is not a New Warrior, but who
is awakened, empowered, mission oriented,
enlightened, and progressive.
Hes one of the most interesting men
Ive ever met. Hes a solid guy. Whether
or not he wants to be in relation with MKP or not,
we need him! If we offer him a place inside the
organization, without insisting that he do the NWTA
first, then he would probably take a step toward
us, and we could be in relation to him in a win/win
kind of way. But, right now, there is no way for
that to occur. If we become a great leadership
training organization, then this is the kind of man
we are interested in, and if we are leadership
focused then were the kind of organization he
would join.
The NWTA is still the entry point for a man to
be in relation with our membership, he added.
However, this idea of leadership development could
very well be the handle that attracts the MILLION
men Daranyi said he wants to bring into MKP in his
lifetime.
So George, what about the guy reading this that
doesnt really care about all the machinations
at the top of MKPs rung?
The zealous part of me wants every man to
care about the umbrella organization and feel the
brotherhood of initiated men around the world. But
Im not sure thats important for every
man. We need to create fluidity inside our own
organizational structure where a man can access the
benefits of the institution at whatever level he
wants, whatever is useful to him. I dont
think we need to insist on only one formula for
being in relation with each other.
Historically, if a man wanted to get some of the
same juice as he did on his own initiation, he
staffed.
Staffing has been the single most
inspiring point after a man's NWTA, the
Chairman agreed. To go back as a staff man
thats been where the embers have
continued to burn for him. Lets honor the men
who have chosen that path toward leadership. And
still, MKP International should be bigger in its
focus on leadership.
To Daranyi, there is a gift in having a world
wide organization that can take the continuity of
an established curriculum to all the outposts of
the world.
In the world of Alcoholics Anonymous, they
read the same preamble everywhere you go from the
Big Book. They are an international service based
organization. There are 10s of thousands of
meetings happening around the world. Without the
umbrella organization of AA, you wouldnt have
the skeletal structure in place at the local
level.
Daranyi was initiated in San Diego, November
1992. He was going through a separation and a
divorce when his therapist, Dennis Meade-Shikaly
suggested he go on the New Warrior Training
Adventure.
As one of the Arizona's founding fathers, the
new Chairman will be using his pioneering skills to
take our umbrella organization into the future.
I asked what it was that drives him
personally.
In Christian theology, it would be The
Kingdom of God is at hand - I see the Christ in
you; in Buddhism it is the achievement of the
Buddha mind; in Daoism, the experience of the Dao.
My belief is that everyone is living inside of a
spiritual construct, and most people are unaware
that they are spiritually alive. Part of my job as
an initiator of men is to blow oxygen into the
embers that is the foundational life of all
creation. Thats when I get to be in relation
with someone who is awakened and who is on a path
of growing and exploring.
Whats it like to hang out with guys like
that?!
It feels like the last staff meeting on an
NWTA when the work is completed as were
looking at each other. We dont think about
bank accounts, our lives at home, stories, or
material struggles - but we can see into each
mans eyes and know that they're present,
valuable, and valued
it feels like
belonging.
I mentioned that Gordon Clays www.menstuff.org
has as his mission to end mens isolation.
My shadow is my fear of dying alone after
a useless life, Daranyi said. Its
the Shadow I touched on my NWTA, and its
still the one thats at play. Ive never
uncovered a deeper one.
And your Golden Mission?
My golden mission
I bring men to
life by creating space for healing transformation
and leadership to emerge."
Somehow George Daranyi works both sides of his
brain as not only a poet, but a noted attorney,
intervention coordinator, lecturer, and workshop
facilitator. Check out his website for more
information on this unique leader among leaders.
www.georgedaranyi.com/
Daranyi was born in Lima, Peru in 1957 and came
to the United States in 1965.
We were able to chat for a moment in Spanish,
which inspired him to recite to me on the phone
this poem he'd recently written.
Listening to this authentic man share his deep
and passionate life filled me with great joy and
the commitment to support him as our new Chairman.
I hope you do too. - RB
Show Me Your Papers
Show me your papers!
I said: Show me your papers.
Not long ago
A time in America
When I could move freely
From place to place
City to city
Job to job
Home to home
Free
Free from inspection
Objection
Intrusion
Oppression
Judgment
Show me your papers!
I said: Show me your papers.
I am told now
By those bigots
I must have the right papers
In order
In order to have my life
In order to move
In order to breathe
In order to be
Free
Show me your papers!
I said: Show me your papers.
Have we forgotten?
Have we forgotten King George?
Have we forgotten the blue arm tattoos?
Have we forgotten the yellow stars?
The crystal night?
The twisted cross?
The black leather boots in the night?
The Polish ghetto?
The camps?
The gulag?
The killing fields?
Have we forgotten these things?
Show me your papers!
I said: show me your papers.
I am told
This is required
To make me safer
To make me freer
To protect me
To take care of me
To take care of my family
To take care of my country
I am told
I will feel better
I will get used to it
I am told
Show me your papers!
I said: Show me your papers.
So, what shall I do?
What shall you do?
Show them your papers!
Or, resist.
©
2005, George
Daranyi
© 2008, Reid Baer
* * *
The fame you earn has a different taste from the
fame that is forced upon you. - Gloria
Vanderbilt
Reid Baer, an
award-winning playwright for A Lyons
Tale is also a newspaper journalist, a poet
with more than 100 poems in magazines world wide,
and a novelist with his first book released this
month entitled Kill
The Story. Baer has been
a member of The ManKind Project since 1995 and
currently edits The New Warrior Journal for
The ManKind Project www.mkp.org
.
He resides in Reidsville, N.C. with his wife
Patricia. He can be reached at E-Mail.
* * *
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