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Giving the World the Finger
I learned two lessons recently. First, never do
dishes when you are too tired to stand. One
Saturday around Christmas, about 1:30AM, I was
cleaning up in preparation for visitors on Sunday.
My wife, Liz, was cooking and the house was clean.
The last step was putting a load of dishes in the
dishwasher. I was scrubbing my large carving knife
when my tired hands slipped.
An hour and a half later, I was driving home
from the Emergency Room with four stitches in my
right middle finger and a splint to keep it
straight for ten days. (We live in a small town so
an ER visit can be that short.)
Later that morning, I was speeding my way to
church. We have four kids and I didn’t get to
bed until after 3AM so, yes, we were late. I
noticed that some of the drivers we passed looked
at me a little shocked. The reason didn’t
occur to me until Mass had begun and I stood in
front of our congregation proclaiming the first
reading. (One of the motivating factors to actually
getting to church that morning was that we were
scheduled to be lectors.) As I held the cordless
microphone with my four good fingers, I realized I
was giving everyone in the church the finger with
the one in the splint! No one listened very well to
the words of Truth and Love that I read that
morning.
Later that day, I had a terrible time cooking
for our guests because my raised finger kept
getting in the way. It got caught in one of the
twins’ hair. It made writing a challenge. I
don’t even want to talk about the
bathroom.
Monday, we began a new family tradition and
volunteered to ring the bell for The Salvation Army
at Wal-Mart for a couple hours. After one or two
shoppers huffed, “Well, I never!” and
“Same to you, Buddy!” I realized that
with my hand in a glove, no one could see that my
flying middle finger was bandaged and that I
wasn’t just condemning them for not donating.
When I hid the hand behind my back, the donations
increased.
There are days when I feel like giving the world
the finger, even when it isn’t wrapped in
gauze and tape. For one reason or
another—usually for four or five
reasons—the attitude I project to the world is
as clear as flipping them the bird. When I live
like that, when I scowl at everyone no matter what
they do, they get distracted. They can’t see
the neat things about me. They can’t hear the
good news I might bring them. They think I am
someone I am not, but there is nothing I can do to
change their minds. The first impression is
set.
Giving the world the finger makes my life
harder. My heavy attitude makes every chore more
difficult. The energy it takes to be grumpy should
be used to teach my children or help a neighbor. It
robs me of patience, which is the most important
skill I have in my job.
The stitches came out and my finger healed
(enough to bend at least). I learned my second
lesson. It’s a fluffy, feel-good hippy lesson,
but it bears repeating. I should be nice to people.
Don’t give them the finger, even
metaphorically. If they deserve it, it doesn’t
affect them at all and it really messes things up
for me. If they don’t deserve it, it’s
just mean.
Waving at the world with ten fingers is a lot
more fun than with one.
©2009, Mark
Phillips
* * *
Women, it's true, make human beings, but
only men can make men. - Margaret Mead
Mark
Phillips is a Stay-At-Home-Dad and freelance
writer. Along with raising his four children, he is
developing a franchise called “The Vacuum IS a
Power Tool.” It is designed to help SAHDs
maintain that which makes us men, instead of hairy
Mom-substitutes. He earned a B.S. in
Communication/Theatre Arts and teaching
certificates in English, public speaking, and
psychology from Eastern Michigan University. After
six years as a high school English teacher and
Director of Dramatic Arts at Powers Catholic High
School in Flint, Michigan, he changed careers and
became a Stay-At-Home-Dad. www.TheVacuumIsAPowerTool.com
or E-Mail
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