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Caveman Like Fire


Have you seen the movie “Cast Away” with Tom Hanks? For a huge portion of the film, it’s only Hanks on screen, lost on a deserted island after a horrible FedEx plane crash. He is forced to survive on his own, having only one companion, a crazed-looking volleyball named Wilson. My favorite scene is when, after hours of failed attempts, he finally gets a fire going. As the flames began to grow taller, he did what every man in his situation would do: he beat his chest in triumph and grunted, “Fire! Fire!” It brought a lump to my throat, so I burped. It was beautiful.

Earth, Wind, and Fire was not only a great band from the 70s, they, along with Water (who left the group over disputes of creative control), are the basic elements of our existence. Cavemen had to battle and control these elements in order to survive. Men’s kinship with these simple things is difficult to explain, but we do enjoy getting muddy, we have a fascination with speed (fast air), and love going to the beach (although bikinis may have something to do with that).

And we cook with fire.

Happily, we don’t need to rub sticks together to create our flames. We have immense stainless steel outdoor kitchens with 250,000 BTU gas burners that light with remote control. These modern firepits have battery operated cooking lights, warming ovens, automatic rotisserie spits, and attached kegerators. Yes, men have come a long way from their primitive ancestors.

Everything about cooking with fire is manly. The sound of the crackling flames and sizzling meat, the smell of the smoke and burning air when you flip a burger and the flames flare up and scorch your knuckles. It inspires grunts in the meekest of men. In fact, to cook with fire, you need to be outside—in the elements themselves. There are open fire grills that you can install in large kitchens but my wife doesn’t make near enough money for me to even consider one of these luxuries. Besides, how manly is that?

Sometimes, you have to grill in the rain or snow. When I lived in Iceland, I was not about to let meager 50 mph winds daunt my grilling plans. Charcoal grills were out of the question because the coals would not only blow out, they would blow away. My gas grill was tucked back in a corner of our porch, protected from the wind and snow so I could have barbecues year round. Granted, when the temperature was in the mid 20s, meat took a lot longer to cook and I was more inclined to watch it cook from inside though a window.

But that is why grilling is so important. In a time when triple-paned windows and forced air furnaces keep us safe and comfortable, we need to remember how to face the elements head on and challenge them in combat. In a deep portion of our manly souls, we need to find reasons to beat our chests and grunt “Fire!”

©2008, Mark Phillips

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 Women, it's true, make human beings, but only men can make men. - Margaret Mead

Mark Phillips is a Stay-At-Home-Dad and freelance writer. Along with raising his four children, he is developing a franchise called “The Vacuum IS a Power Tool.” It is designed to help SAHDs maintain that which makes us men, instead of hairy Mom-substitutes. He earned a B.S. in Communication/Theatre Arts and teaching certificates in English, public speaking, and psychology from Eastern Michigan University. After six years as a high school English teacher and Director of Dramatic Arts at Powers Catholic High School in Flint, Michigan, he changed careers and became a Stay-At-Home-Dad. www.TheVacuumIsAPowerTool.com or E-Mail



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