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A Brave New Word
Ever since I began writing about Stay-At-Home-Dads
and vacuums and how they relate, I have been
struggling to find the right word to describe the
basic premise of my ideas: that SAHDs need to keep
in touch with their maleness, their Inner Caveman.
“Getting in touch with your manhood”
sounds obscene; “being manly” needs to be
said with an Austrian accent; “machismo”
is the wrong idea; and “staying
masculine” is too easy to say with an lisp.
Besides, all of those sound too clinical, too
serious. This is a real idea, but dealing with it
should be more fun.
After months of research (and a lucky break at
the library) I came across a book by one of
America’s great philosophers, Dave Barry.
According to the New York Times, Dave Barry is also
“the funniest man in America.” I
don’t live in New York, so I didn’t read
the article, but the quote is on the book jacket.
He has written two novels (one had a movie made of
it), four children’s books, and a bunch of
nonfiction titles on everything from money to
parenting. He also writes a syndicated column for
the Miami Herald, but I don’t live there
either so I haven’t read any of them. He even
had a television series based on his life called
“Dave’s Life” or “The Life of
Dave” or something like that. It starred
another funny man, whose name I can’t
remember, but he was really good on “Night
Court” back in the 80s.
The book that has enlightened me was “Dave
Barry’s Complete Guide to Guys”. (They
made a movie out of this one too, but it went
directly to DVD, so I’m not betting on any
Academy Awards). Basically, the book attempts to
explain Guy behavior. It starts out by explaining
that not all males are Guys. Some are Men. Men are
responsible, mature, and really not much fun. Guys
are childish, clueless, and a source of frustration
for women. They are also a source of envy for the
responsible men who wish they could still take it
easy and have fun like they did in college.
I disagree with one idea from the book. I say
that all Men have a Guy inside. What Man would not
love to see a Buick launched from a giant catapult,
just for the sake of seeing if it was possible?
What Man does not believe that his cheering for a
team actually helps them win? What Man would not
love just one day on the Space Shuttle so he could
fly that baby at Mach 24 and go
“BBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMM!”? (You have to
read the book.)
Almost all Stay-At-Home-Dads have outgrown most
of our Guy’s juvenile behavior. We have
realized that we need to be responsible, caring,
productive Men in order to help our families thrive
and make our world a better place. Not only do we
have to know how to use the washing machine, we
have to know how to separate the clothes into
darks, lights, whites, and pinks (if we have
girls). That does not mean that our Guy is dead,
just that most of his moronic ideas have been honed
and smoothed out by Real Life.
So maybe what I have been trying to say is that
Stay-At-Home-Dads—and all Men,
really—need to realize that they are still a
Guy, deep down. We may have smothered him with
maturity and accountability, but he is still
breathing. Our wives and our children don’t
want him to get out very often, but maybe we would
be happier if we gave him some air
occasionally.
At the very least, I now have a better word to
use.
©2008, Mark
Phillips
* * *
Women, it's true, make human beings, but
only men can make men. - Margaret Mead
Mark
Phillips is a Stay-At-Home-Dad and freelance
writer. Along with raising his four children, he is
developing a franchise called “The Vacuum IS a
Power Tool.” It is designed to help SAHDs
maintain that which makes us men, instead of hairy
Mom-substitutes. He earned a B.S. in
Communication/Theatre Arts and teaching
certificates in English, public speaking, and
psychology from Eastern Michigan University. After
six years as a high school English teacher and
Director of Dramatic Arts at Powers Catholic High
School in Flint, Michigan, he changed careers and
became a Stay-At-Home-Dad. www.TheVacuumIsAPowerTool.com
or E-Mail
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