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Who Should Stay Home?
There are five advantages all men have over women
when it comes to being the Primary Parent. (See:
“Men
Make Better Housewives”) However,
that does not mean that all men should become
Stay-At-Home-Dads. In some couples, it just makes
more sense for Mommy to stay home with the kids and
the house while Daddy goes out and makes money.
There are lots of things to consider before either
one goes into their boss and tells her where she
take this job and what she can do with it. Like,
which parent is best suited, personality-wise?
Important Personality Trait Number One is
patience. Couples should decide which of them has
the largest trove of this treasure; which one can
go back to the deep well of serenity more often
before it runs dry. (You can often tell how
important something is by how many metaphors are
used to describe it.) This magic elixir of
sainthood is really, really important. If you
don’t have patience, staying home with little
people who don’t listen, do listen but
don’t obey, can’t understand, or can
understand but choose to ignore is not the job of
someone with a short fuse.
A less acknowledged personality trait a good
parent should have is the ability to withstand body
fluids. As a new parent, I was shocked at the
amount of liquidy stuff that comes with this
territory. Beginning with the birth process itself
and continuing right on into the school years,
there is gunk galore. Just last week, I had to deal
with vomited-on blankets, pooped on carpeting (yes,
it was liquid), peed on pants, and a bloody finger.
Thankfully, the finger was mine. You would think
that my wife—a doctor—would be better
suited for these tasks, but her very strong
aversion to vomit would have stopped her from the
get go. Besides, she was at a conference in New
Mexico. Oh, and the cat hurt his foot and was
limping around too.
Another plus in the Stay-At-Home-Parent column
is how one deals with cacophony. Cacophony means
“an instance of discordant sound”. Think
of “symphony”: a delightful mix of many
instruments and different sounds to create a
pleasant song. Now, take away
“delightful” and “pleasant”.
You have “lots of sound”.
Which parent can have two children fighting over
a toy, one child asking for milk, a dog barking,
the radio on and the dishwasher running without
going ballistic? That’s the one that should
stay home. If you are not sure which one has this
skill, go to a “Chuck E. Cheese” on a
Saturday afternoon. The first one to start
twitching is the loser.
One more trait that many people might not think
about is flexibility. This word has two definitions
and they are both valid: One is physical
flexibility. Which parent is most likely going to
be able to stand back up after a tea party? The
second definition is mental flexibility. Who can
best adjust his or her schedule when things
don’t go as planned? Because things WON’T
go as planned. A smart parent knows that deadlines
are suggestions, that a List of Things To Do better
be short, and that “Many hands make a big
mess”. Part of the delight of having children
is watching how they interact with the world. That
almost always takes longer than you’ve got. If
one parent likes things done right and on time,
have fun at the office, Dear.People all have
different strengths and weaknesses. It’s
important for everyone’s happiness and health
that the parent with the right strengths be the one
who takes care of the kids. If not, bad things
could happen when it becomes a place of stressful,
runny, noisy chaos. With the right parent at home,
those days can be lots of fun!
©2009, Mark
Phillips
* * *
Women, it's true, make human beings, but
only men can make men. - Margaret Mead
Mark
Phillips is a Stay-At-Home-Dad and freelance
writer. Along with raising his four children, he is
developing a franchise called “The Vacuum IS a
Power Tool.” It is designed to help SAHDs
maintain that which makes us men, instead of hairy
Mom-substitutes. He earned a B.S. in
Communication/Theatre Arts and teaching
certificates in English, public speaking, and
psychology from Eastern Michigan University. After
six years as a high school English teacher and
Director of Dramatic Arts at Powers Catholic High
School in Flint, Michigan, he changed careers and
became a Stay-At-Home-Dad. www.TheVacuumIsAPowerTool.com
or E-Mail
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