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Normal Men
Everyone thinks they are normal. It’s a broad
generalization, but probably more true than not. In
fact, the entire crux of this website is based on
the assumption that I am normal and that my
experiences and insights are similar to yours and
other Stay-At-Home-Dads.
Having said that, I am wise enough to know that
I am not smart enough to know everything that there
is to know, you know? I might know what I do,
because I am right there watching me do it, but I
might not know why I do it.
That’s when it’s time to look to the
experts. When talking about men, it’s
impossible to avoid looking at women…it’s
impossible to avoid comparing how men and women are
different. On that subject, there is no expert more
popular than Dr. John Gray, who wrote Men are From
Mars, Women are from Venus; the Men are from Mars,
Women are from Venus Day-to-Day Calendar; and
coming soon, the Ken is from Mars, Barbie is from
Venus: Let’s Communicate! Doll House, complete
with couch and Kleenex box.
The main point of Doc Gray’s books and
accessories is that men and women are different.
For example, it is a proven fact that men
don’t ask for directions. It’s in our DNA
(Don’t Need Assistance). When a man refuses to
accept help, Gray calls this “going into our
caves”. Women call this “being
pig-headed”. If Columbus had asked for
directions to the East Indies, he would have ended
up in the East Indies and we wouldn’t get the
second Monday in October off every year.
According to Gray, when women face a problem,
their first instinct is to talk about it with
others until they arrive at a solution or decide to
buy some shoes. When men face a challenge, our
first instinct is to overcome it by ourselves. As
with women, the solving of the problem is as
important as the solution. They find satisfaction
in talking it through. We find satisfaction in
knowing that we conquered the dilemma, we climbed
the mountain, we fixed the sink. Any schmoe can
call a plumber. If we can fix the leaky faucet
without the help of someone else, no matter how
incompetent we are or how much duct tape we use, we
get the validation, not Mr. RotoRooter.
How gratifying would it be to simply follow the
directions given by some pimply-faced clerk at the
7-11? No, we need to hunt out the crossroads,
examine the countryside, measure the angle of the
sun, and find the perfect shortcut to our goal. We
will lead our families to our destination, no
matter how long it takes. We are men. It’s
what we do.
So the next time your wife thinks you are lost
and has that “All you need to do is ask for
directions” look on her face, you can tell her
not to worry. Everything’s normal.
©2008, Mark
Phillips
* * *
Women, it's true, make human beings, but
only men can make men. - Margaret Mead
Mark
Phillips is a Stay-At-Home-Dad and freelance
writer. Along with raising his four children, he is
developing a franchise called “The Vacuum IS a
Power Tool.” It is designed to help SAHDs
maintain that which makes us men, instead of hairy
Mom-substitutes. He earned a B.S. in
Communication/Theatre Arts and teaching
certificates in English, public speaking, and
psychology from Eastern Michigan University. After
six years as a high school English teacher and
Director of Dramatic Arts at Powers Catholic High
School in Flint, Michigan, he changed careers and
became a Stay-At-Home-Dad. www.TheVacuumIsAPowerTool.com
or E-Mail
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