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A Few Reasons to Stay Home
So, why do you do it? What have you gotten out of
it? You have given up a job that allowed you to
talk to grown ups all day and get paid for it. Now,
you are immersed in Toddler Speak and dirty
laundry. When people ask you what in the heck were
you thinking, what do you say?
Here is my answer:
I get to work in my underwear. My first job
every weekday is getting my two older kids ready
for school. I am not a morning person so I do not
wake early, shower, change and get all spiffy and
happy before I drag them out of bed. I drag myself
to their room, then drag them downstairs. After
they are off to school, I have to feed my two
younger kids and clean up from the morning
preparations.
To that point, I had not had time to tidy myself
and change into clothes. I wear my robe, of course.
I don’t want to shock the neighbors when I
take the trash out. By the time I get into the
shower, I usually have spent time dressing the
twins, feeding them, reading to them, cleaning up
after them, maybe doing a puzzle or coloring. Soon,
they get involved in something on their own that
allows me to sneak away and shower. Some days, that
time comes late in the afternoon, but almost always
before I make dinner.
When I was teaching high school, they expected
me to be clean and dressed before I even arrived at
work.
Another advantage being a SAHD is shaving. My
kids rarely notice when my beard has gotten unruly.
They don’t give me memos about personal
hygiene when I go a day or two extra before
trimming my facial hair. It is important to note
that I have worn a beard for the last sixteen years
of my life mostly for the convenience of not
needing to shave every day. When I was a
professional, I couldn’t go more than an extra
day without taking a sharp piece of metal and
scraping against my skin. Now, I have a week
between playdates. That and church on Sunday and
shaving becomes a bi-weekly occurrence.
Not only are there lower expectations of staying
clean and well-kempt, a Stay-At-Home-Parent is
required to get dirty. In some ways, this is very
unpleasant. Cleaning up after a sick child is just
gross. Scrubbing a dirty bathroom floor is menial.
Getting elbow deep in a huge bowl of meatloaf for a
potluck is...well, that’s a lot of fun! Gong
outside after a good rainfall to play in the
puddles and get covered in mud reminds me of what
is truly important. Getting covered in sand at the
beach, covered in leaves in the autumn, getting
covered in dirt pretty much anytime there is dirt
around. These are all reasons why I love my
job.
Showering and shaving can be done
anytime—any time the twins let me have the
time to do it. Being a part of their childhood can
only be done while they are still in it, and that
only lasts an instant. I think I’d rather stay
dirty for a little while longer.
©2008, Mark
Phillips
* * *
Women, it's true, make human beings, but
only men can make men. - Margaret Mead
Mark
Phillips is a Stay-At-Home-Dad and freelance
writer. Along with raising his four children, he is
developing a franchise called “The Vacuum IS a
Power Tool.” It is designed to help SAHDs
maintain that which makes us men, instead of hairy
Mom-substitutes. He earned a B.S. in
Communication/Theatre Arts and teaching
certificates in English, public speaking, and
psychology from Eastern Michigan University. After
six years as a high school English teacher and
Director of Dramatic Arts at Powers Catholic High
School in Flint, Michigan, he changed careers and
became a Stay-At-Home-Dad. www.TheVacuumIsAPowerTool.com
or E-Mail
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