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Is there a way to orgasm faster without
clitoral stimulationis?
Q from a female, senior from
U W Milwaikee wants to know....I have
been going out with my boyfriend for 5 years and
we've experienced sex many times. I don't always
orgasm and I know that is normal, but I want to
know how if there is a way to orgasm faster without
clitoral stimulation or using anything other than
his penis and my vagina. I am not sure if there is
a possible answer for this question, but it keeps
getting harder and harder for me to orgasm. Thank
you.
Dr. Caron's Answer: I think you raise a
really good question: What makes someone orgasm?
and we certainly have the extremes from women who
say they can orgasm just by thinking about a hot
passionate love scene.....to women who can reach
orgasm only after hours of touching and stimulation
maybe. Most of us fall somewhere in between. For
most women, it is stimulation of the clitoral area
- whether indirectly through intercourse or more
directly by someone actually touching the area. I
am wondering if you might find it helpful to have
either you or your partner stimulate this area
during intercourse...possibly changing positions so
it is easier to reach (for example, some people
prefer what is commonly called "doggie style" to
make it easier for her to stimulate her own
clitoris). I also think this may be a good time to
invest in a vibrator.... and bring this into the
bedroom with you and making this a threesome... so
to speak. The Sinclair Intimacy Institute
(www.IntimacyInstitute.com
 )
also has a new video called, Toys for Better
Sex, that may offer you some ideas beyond using
a vibrator to stimulate both you and your partner.
I am not saying all this because I want you to be
able to reach orgasm faster... In fact, I think
taking separate turns with your partner - where you
each enjoy an orgasm at your own pace - is probably
better and much more relaxing than feeling
pressured to hurry up and have one... so maybe
talking with your partner a bit more about this
would be useful. Finally, I do not want to overlook
the fact that you also brought up the issue of how
long you have been in your relationship - and I
wonder if you have found that over time - over your
5 years together – your sex life together has
gotten a bit "stale" - which is not uncommon - and
if so, that will take a bit of creativity on both
your parts to bring the spark, passion, and
surprise back into the relationship! Again, talking
about your desires and how to keep the pressure off
and the pleasure on will be useful. Best
wishes!
© 2010, Sandra L.
Caron
* * *
It is not sex that gives the pleasure, but the
lover. - Marge Piercy
American teens have the worst of all
worlds...Our children are bombarded and confronted
with sexual messages, sexual exploitation, and all
manner of sexual criticism. But our society is by
and large sexually illiterate. Faye Westheimer
Dr. Sandra L.
Caron is a professor of human sexuality at the
University of Maine. To submit a question to Dr.
Caron or chat with your peers visit
www.CollegeSexTalk.com
Got a question for Dr. Caron? Visit
www.collegesextalk.com/questions.htm
and ask away! Get a guaranteed personal and
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