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Having sex for its own sake
Q from a male, junior from Jacksonville
University: wants to know… What's wrong
with just enjoying each other's bodies - having sex
for its own sake? Do people have to be in love to
do that?
Dr. Caron's Answer: Obviously, many do
not, as evidenced by the fact that sex is a popular
form of interaction among college students. Many
couples have sex for fun, as a way to forget
troubles and relieve tension. And a few couples
have been known to have a terrible relationship in
almost every way, but put their problems aside and
have fantastic sex. Many couples cannot separate
sex from all other aspects of their relationship,
however, at least in the long term. Each begins to
effect the other. Resentments, tensions, feelings
of being used by the other, and fears in the
relationship affect their sexual life. Some people
who start out wanting just a fun sexual
relationship often become emotionally involved
without intending to do so. Emotional involvement
leads to anxiety about what a relationship means,
where each stands in the other's eyes, and what
plans are in the future. It is hard, and
unacceptable for most, to carry on a long-term
relationship without emotional involvement.
Recreational sex as such may not be a problem for
some unattached, consenting adults on a short-term
basis. However, when all sexual encounters are
treated as recreational, sex becomes trivial and
superficial. Many people can and do have sex
without love, but many also prefer sex with
love.
© 2007, Sandra L.
Caron
* * *
It is not sex that gives the pleasure, but the
lover. - Marge Piercy
American teens have the worst of all
worlds...Our children are bombarded and confronted
with sexual messages, sexual exploitation, and all
manner of sexual criticism. But our society is by
and large sexually illiterate. Faye Westheimer
Dr. Sandra L.
Caron is a professor of human sexuality at the
University of Maine. To submit a question to Dr.
Caron or chat with your peers visit
www.CollegeSexTalk.com
Got a question for Dr. Caron? Visit
www.collegesextalk.com/questions.htm
and ask away! Get a guaranteed personal and
confidential response to your question:
www.my-secure-site.com/collegesextalk/
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