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Soreness After Sex
Question from a male junior at student at York
College of Pennsylvania: After having sex, my
partner often complains that she is sore in the
area around the vagina, but she is constantly
telling me that I am gentle with her. What is it
that I could be doing wrong, or better, what is it
that I could be doing right?
Dr. Caron's Answer: Showing concern for
your partner sounds like something you are
certainly doing right!! For many women, lack of
lubrication can create soreness around the vaginal
opening - typically felt after intercourse. I
wonder if this is what is happening in your
situation. If so, this may indicate you might want
to spend more time on what some people call
"foreplay" - or outercourse - other things besides
just intercourse (oral sex, genital touching,
caressing). If she is sufficiently "turned on" but
finds that her lubrication is not as much as you
both desire, try purchasing a water-based lubricant
such as Astroglide or KY jelly. This should help
decrease any soreness caused by lack of
lubrication. If she still feels sore after
intercourse, have her visit a health care provider
for a gyn exam. Perhaps there is a slight yeast
infection building that is causing some irritation
- this will be easily treated.
Best wishes!
Question from a Male, Sophomore at University
of Connecticut: I've been a best friend with
this girl for two years. I'm starting to develop
stronger feelings for her now and I believe she
feels the same way. How do I break the ice and not
ruin the friendship if things don't work out?
Dr. Caron’s Answer: As with any
relationship, a person must often take risks to
move forward. Unfortunately, there are no
guarantees that things will work out. However, it
is helpful that you have already established a
friendship. But before you talk with her about how
you're feeling, I suggest you think about how
you'll feel if she says she just wants to continue
to be friends. Will you be able to continue the
friendship? I would guess that if your friendship
is important to both of you, you will be able to
work things out.
© 2007, Sandra L.
Caron
* * *
It is not sex that gives the pleasure, but the
lover. - Marge Piercy
American teens have the worst of all
worlds...Our children are bombarded and confronted
with sexual messages, sexual exploitation, and all
manner of sexual criticism. But our society is by
and large sexually illiterate. Faye Westheimer
Dr. Sandra L.
Caron is a professor of human sexuality at the
University of Maine. To submit a question to Dr.
Caron or chat with your peers visit
www.CollegeSexTalk.com
Got a question for Dr. Caron? Visit
www.collegesextalk.com/questions.htm
and ask away! Get a guaranteed personal and
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