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August
Being Fifty-Something
"Women get psychic as they age. You never have to
confess your sins to an older woman. They always
know." - Andy Rooney
So true! Sometimes it almost feels like spying,
except it's unintentional. If only I'd been able to
do that when my kids were young...
Being a fifty-something woman today is so much
different from the way it was for past generations.
No short permed gray hair and granny clothes yet.
I eat healthy food (well, and some junk food
too), wear wonder bras, and get lots of water,
sleep, and sex. Sunscreen is no longer an option.
The glute and pec machines at the gym are special
friends that I visit frequently. I like myself
more. I don't ask if an outfit makes my butt look
big, that's what mirrors (and gyms) are for.
And you know what's weird? I went to the
doctor's office, and the doctor was a kid. And so
was the pharmacist. Am I getting older, or are
they letting kids practice medicine these days?
Now I have to share something that gave me such
a chuckle... Just the other day one of the neighbor
kids, who is about five or six, saw a Christmas
card photo I made for my husband of me wearing a
skimpy Santa's Helper suit, high heels and makeup.
He asked "Who's that?" and I told him it's me. He
said it must have been when I was much younger. I
told him it was last Christmas. In the next
priceless moment, his eyes went from the picture to
me, and back to the picture then back to me. "Then
why do you have all those 'winkles' now?" he
questioned innocently. I briefly explained to him
that the picture was taken in bright light and with
makeup. I'm sure that went right over his head,
and now he probably thinks I'm magic. I spared the
details about light reflectors, creative posing,
and the wonders of soft focus that miraculously
flatter women of any age. By golly, the kid got
his first experience with finding out that a lady
in a picture doesn't really look the same in
person. This knowledge may come in handy when he
grows up and tries internet dating.
Later the same afternoon, I found myself trying
to explain to a little neighbor girl why my pet
snake laid an egg that is not going to hatch. I
told her it is because there was no boy-snake
around. She looked confused. So I explained that
it is like when chickens lay eggs that don't turn
into chickens, they are just "egg" inside and we
eat it. She looked even more puzzled now. I
reassured her that it doesn't have a chicken inside
it, and that we are not going to eat the snake egg.
I think cleared it up.
I'm gonna be a rockin' grandma someday, I just
know it!
©2008, Mary Lou
St. Lucas
* * *
Mary Lou St.
Lucas is a former stay-at-home mom who has
participated in custody and divorce-related support
groups. She often speaks out through impassioned
letters to local newspapers regarding issues
affecting quality of life for children and
families. She has experienced divorce, including
the heartbreaking decision to give up daily contact
with her two sons for what she believed was their
best interest at that time, as well as the societal
stigma attached to being a non-custodial mother.
She emphasizes the importance of kids having BOTH
parents in their lives on a regular basis, even if
the parents cannot or will not be married anymore.
She hopes other parents will see that there may be
alternatives to the standard custody arrangements,
depending on the individual situation. She writes
from her perspective of today instead of revisiting
and dwelling on the painful emotions of her past.
She strives to live a full life in spite of a
recent diagnosis of fibromyalgia, and believes a
sense of humor is mandatory. mlstuff.blogspot.com/2007/08/male-bashing-t-shirts.html
or E-Mail.
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