Blending Families with Pumpkin and Pecans

Once again the holidays are almost here. My family celebrates Thanksgiving and Christmas.

When my husband and I got together about a decade ago we each had two kids from our previous marriages, ranging from ages twelve to twenty. It's been somewhat challenging every year to figure a way each of us could spend the holidays with our own kids, while celebrating together as a couple. Sometimes it's been impossible.

Today our "kids" are all grown up, with significant others of their own. One of my sons lives out of town and returns home to visit twice a year. I cherish those brief visits. We also have a grandchild (on my husband's side of the family) who is old enough this year to really get into the whole celebration thing. There are former spouses living nearby who also wish to spend the day with family.

So... there's the possibility of rotating, being with one side of the family on Thanksgiving and the other on Christmas; and then switching the following year. But that's never worked out. Sometimes we are invited one place, or the other, or both. The closest thing to success has been inviting everyone to just stop by our home any time throughout the day.

It may get confusing, but I'm thankful to have my family with which to celebrate while so many people can't be with their loved ones for the holidays.

I have no room to complain about who eats pumpkin pie at which house. Besides, pecan is better according to my dog Angie who stole over half a pecan pie from the kitchen counter last year.

©2011, Mary Lou St. Lucas

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Mary Lou St. Lucas is a former stay-at-home mom who has participated in custody and divorce-related support groups. She often speaks out through impassioned letters to local newspapers regarding issues affecting quality of life for children and families. She has experienced divorce, including the heartbreaking decision to give up daily contact with her two sons for what she believed was their best interest at that time, as well as the societal stigma attached to being a non-custodial mother. She emphasizes the importance of kids having BOTH parents in their lives on a regular basis, even if the parents cannot or will not be married anymore. She hopes other parents will see that there may be alternatives to the standard custody arrangements, depending on the individual situation. She writes from her perspective of today instead of revisiting and dwelling on the painful emotions of her past. She strives to live a full life in spite of a recent diagnosis of fibromyalgia, and believes a sense of humor is mandatory. mlstuff.blogspot.com/2007/08/male-bashing-t-shirts.html or E-Mail.

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