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The legendary lover would apply his 10
principles of sex and seduction and make any woman
quiver in her bodice. Just follow along at home and
you can, too
Despite an unremarkable mug, no man is more
renowned for his power over women than Giacomo
Casanova. In fact, his name has become synonymous
with seduction. During his 73 years, he made love
to noblewomen, actresses, dancers, chambermaids,
Greek slave girls, a priest's niece, a farmer's
daughter, five sisters (plus their mother), a
transvestite, a hunchback (with "an excitingly
misplaced vulva"), a nymphomaniac, and two
unrepentant nuns--132 ladies in all. He was, quite
simply, irresistible. And the 200-odd years that
have passed since his death have only embellished
his reputation. Every man, at one time or another,
wants to be a Giacomo Casanova.
And we're here to tell you it's possible. The
ability to entrance a woman, to get her to
surrender what Casanova called her "delicious
little that," depends mostly on style and
sincerity.
That's all there is to it. Although you may
object to Casanova's morals (he reveled in orgies,
abhorred condoms, and once made love to his
illegitimate daughter), he was not
reprehensible.
"Unlike the fictional Don Juan or the Marquis de
Sade, Casanova wasn't a sexual predator," says Ted
Emery, Ph.D., an assistant professor of Italian at
Dickinson College and a noted Casanovist. "He was
very much in love with most of these women, and
they with him. He frequently mentions the multiple
orgasms he gave them. This is certainly flattering,
but the fact that he even thought about their
pleasure makes him different and admirable."
To gain a better understanding of this man's
genius (without reading all 12 volumes of his
autobiography), we attended a Casanova dinner at
Sotheby's Institute of Art in New York City. It was
a lavishly detailed re-creation (right down to the
period cutlery) of a rendezvous in Venice in 1753
between the 28-year-old Casanova and a beautiful
nun into whose habit he wished to plunge. It was
his finest moment--an evening that exemplified his
charm, and one from which all men can learn.
"It was a dinner of seduction," explains Carolin
Young, a culinary historian who organized the
event. "It was 2 hours of playful flirtation during
which they were both waiting to devour each other.
Afterward, the nun finally told him she had 'an
appetite that promised to do honor to the supper.'
"
So what did Casanova do that night? How did he
steal the keys to the convent? Before we divulge
his secrets, you should understand that Casanova
was not an aristocrat. Although he enjoyed
projecting that image, he was essentially a gambler
and a con man who fought duels and even served time
in prison. So while this evening may appear highly
sophisticated, don't forget that Casanova was, at
heart, a philandering rogue who placed fun and love
above all else.
If you're feeling particularly adventurous, you
can stage a Casanova dinner of your own. You'll
find recipes and even a shopping list (look at
"Related Articles" on right). (You, however, are
responsible for the nun.) Otherwise, just adhere to
the following 10 principles the next time you're
with a woman you admire. The results will be
delicious.
Casanova Commandment #1
To make a woman feel special, do something
special.
For his illicit dinner with the good sister,
Casanova rented an elegant five-room apartment. He
met her as she stepped off the gondola, and they
walked arm-in-arm across a lantern-lit plaza.
Your move: When you're trying to impress a
woman, never utter these words at the cusp of an
evening: "So, what do you feel like doing?" A true
Casanova takes charge. He has a plan. To devise a
memorable one, imagine that you're proposing. What
would you do to make the night so special she
couldn't possibly say no? Then arrange it (minus
the ring and bent-knee thing, of course). After
all, you are proposing--only it's something far
more enticing than marriage.
"Women are very appreciative of any kind of
effort," says Young. "Casanova certainly realized
that."
Casanova Commandment #2
Privacy is sexy.
The nun had a reputation to protect, and
Casanova was sensitive to that. The apartment staff
did not disturb Casanova and his guest; dinner was
served through a window in the wall, allowing the
servants to deliver the food without being seen or
heard. There were no prying eyes to fear, nothing
to distract the two lovers from each other. Privacy
gives a woman permission to be herself.
Your move: Create an intimate atmosphere
whenever you can. Invite her to dinner at your
place, reserve a cozy table at a fine restaurant,
encourage her to slip away from the party for a
starlit stroll....Continually be searching for
eddies in the evening where you both can linger and
connect. You can bestow no greater compliment on a
woman than your full attention.
Casanova Commandment #3
Let her admire you admiring her.
Casanova's rented apartment was full of mirrors
and candles. He wanted his love to be "reflected a
thousand times," and he wanted to be able to enjoy
her from many different angles during dinner. He
knew, too, that a beautiful woman enjoys looking at
herself--that the mirrors would become her
portraits, and she'd feel even sexier because of
it. "There's a magical quality to mirrors,
candlelight, and silver," says Young. "Women find
it enchanting."
Your move: If you can't duplicate an atmosphere
like this, become a mirror yourself. Let her see
the effects of her beauty and charm reflected in
you. Every now and then, look at her appreciatively
and smile. At opportune times, compliment
her--choosing a trait other than the obvious. For
instance, pretty women are used to being told
they're pretty. That kind of compliment has little
effect. But tell a pretty woman that she's smart,
and you often win her heart. There's a magical
quality to a man's open, insightful admiration that
women find equally enchanting.
Casanova Commandment #4
Ask her what she thinks.
Casanova's seduction lasted several hours, and
he spent much of this time asking questions and
listening. In an age when women were considered
inferior to men, such behavior was flattering. He
treated his guest reverently, and not just because
she was a nun. This woman was his equal, and he was
genuinely interested in her perspective.
Your move: The reason women found Casanova so
fascinating is that he found them so fascinating.
In fact, he believed that without engaging
conversation, physical pleasure was uninteresting.
"The minute you start thinking of the woman as an
object, the instant you become more interested in
yourself than in finding out about her, then you're
not being a Casanova," notes Emery. "He made women
feel valued for things other than their
bodies."
It's not difficult to get a woman to talk about
herself. Just ask open-ended questions and shut up.
But you have to be sincere about it. Casanova's
success with women stemmed from his genuine
interest in them. He touched their hearts before
daring to venture anyplace else.
Casanova Commandment #5
Encourage decadence.
For this particular evening, Casanova spared no
expense. The apartment, the dinner table, his own
body were all dressed with the finest things
available. The meal consisted of eight courses,
served in pairs. Many of the dishes, such as
oysters, champagne, game, sturgeon, truffles,
fruits, and sorbets, were delicacies, considered
highly indulgent separately, let alone combined
with everything else. Casanova was obviously out to
impress, but he also knew that after the first
sampling of something sinful, it becomes much
easier to sin again.
Your move: Provide your lady with something
decadent. This could be a single chocolate truffle
(gift-wrapped) or an ice-cream sundae that the two
of you share. Indulgence is the removal of a single
brick that significantly weakens the temple.
Casanova Commandment #6
Appeal to all her senses.
Casanova scented the apartment with tuberoses
because he believed they were an aphrodisiac. He
served oysters and champagne as an appetizer
because on the tongue there is only one thing more
titillating. He asked for his lady's opinions
because every woman loves the music of her own
voice. He created an atmosphere of lavishness and
luxury, so her own indulgence would feel less
guilty. And he touched her, often and gently, to
return her attention to the true focus of the
evening. By stimulating every sense, Casanova was
able to immerse this woman more fully in the
moment, and make her feel more alive and
sexual.
Your move: Be attentive to every one of your
mate's five senses. Play background music, touch
the small of her back to guide her, make eye
contact, give her a flute of champagne to sip, buy
her a fresh flower to sniff....Think of each sense
as a little engine you need to warm up. When all
her senses are purring, she will be, too.
Casanova Commandment #7
Savor the anticipation.
Although Casanova immediately grew "ardent" when
he noticed that his lady's breasts were covered by
only a dainty chemise, he didn't force himself upon
her. He was patient. He accepted her single kiss
and cherished her two-word promise: "After
supper."
"Casanova appreciated that if you have your
pleasure too quickly, you don't suck all the
pleasure out of it," explains Young. "Savor the
anticipation, because often the anticipation is
half the fun."
Your move: Foreplay doesn't happen only in the
bedroom 60 seconds before intercourse. It's
organic. It encompasses the entire day. Slip a note
into her purse confessing how much you're looking
forward to this date, or call her at work and tell
her the same. When you meet, take her hands and
softly kiss her lips. Most important: Allow the
evening to progress at its own pace, remembering
that neither of you has to be anywhere except
together.
Casanova Commandment #8
Be playful.
Most of the food and drink Casanova preferred
was sexually suggestive. Plump oysters, succulent
game hens, soft cheeses, ripe fruit...On one level,
he simply enjoyed watching women put these things
in their mouths. But on another, he saw dinnertime
as an opportunity for playfulness. When a slippery
oyster fell onto an ample bosom, he immediately
offered to slurp it off. When the salad arrived
undressed, he encouraged the lady to dribble on the
oil and vinegar. Casanova realized that sex isn't
serious--it's playtime for adults. Games like this
are the warmup.
Your move: Whether you're dining at home or at a
restaurant, choose something provocative the two of
you can share. Put the plate between you and
nibble. Eat with your fingers. Feed each other.
Make it your goal to keep the evening
lighthearted.
Casanova Commandment #9
Be spontaneous.
Casanova was an opportunist. He drifted from
country to country, working at ludicrously diverse
jobs (among them, priest and pimp). He was a
disciple of the moment. Once, while sharing a
carriage with a farmer's wife during a severe
storm, he found her perched on his lap after a
frightening thunderclap. Seizing the opportunity,
he deftly rearranged her skirts.
Your move: If the evening isn't going according
to plan, abandon it. Be attuned to fate and go
where it directs. The confidence and daring this
shows is in itself seductive.
Casanova Commandment #10
Surprise her with a gift
After supper, Casanova and his lady retired to a
candlelit alcove, where he presented her with a
beautiful lace nightcap. She pronounced it
"magnificent." It was the final, thoughtful coup de
grace. "She told me to go undress in the next
room," writes Casanova, "promising to call me as
soon as she was in bed. This took but 2
minutes."
Your move: Women love unexpected gifts. Make
hers personal rather than trendy, small rather than
large, silly rather than serious--something only
she can appreciate. "Casanova's gifts showed a
great deal of creativity and thoughtfulness," says
Emery. Most important, time your gift's delivery
for that critical point in the evening when there
remains just one obvious way for her to show her
gratitude.
Source: Joe Kita,
www.menshealth.com/cda/article/0,6916,s1-2-73-0-457,00.html
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