Becoming Unsingle

Menstuff® has compiled the following information on becoming unsingle (getting married). What is it that makes "marriage" the ideal? What is it if you're of marrying age and you're "still unmarried", there must be something wrong with you.

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On October 31, 2006, I will celebrate my 30th anniversary. You see, I was married for eight years and divorced in 1976. So, it's been almost 30 years of bliss.

During the first 25 years of singlehood, there wasn't a time that I remember, when visiting my elderly aunt in Kansas City, that she didn't ask when I was going to "meet a nice girl and settle down." That's every time from 1976 until she passed away a few years ago. Interestingly enough, she died a spinster as did my grandfather's sister.

What is it that makes unsingle people ask those of us who are single why we still are?

Tom Blake, who writes a weekly "Middle-Age Relationships" column for us, passed along this information to our readers recently.

When a woman was asked, "Have you found Mr. Right yet?" she replied "I'm not looking. I'm happy with my life, why mess it up?"

When a woman asked Norman why he was no longer married, he answered: "I got divorced for religious differences. She thought she was God and I didn't."

The question, "Why aren't you married?" is usually asked by people close to us who feel they can get away with such intrusions. As a columnist, I hear it often. People say, "After seven years together, why haven't you married Greta?" as if I'm leading the poor woman on against her will. I put on a sad face and say, "She won't marry me." That usually stops them cold. (For the record, similar to many older couples, Greta and I don't want to get married, we're happy with our arrangement the way it is. Besides, she hasn't asked me yet).

Sharon, says her favorite reply comes from the book, "Kiss My Tiara," which is, "I'm dating somebody married, does that count?"

A rather undiplomatic married woman said to a single woman, in a demeaning tone, "I see you're not married. Any prospects?" The reply, "Only that man over there who just hit on me." The woman looked "over there." Her husband was waving to her.

Then there's your neighbor's business partner--a Mr. Robinson type--who's at the cocktail party, oiled to the gills. He corners you and whispers, "I've got a year's supply of Viagra." With a wink he says, "Care to share?"

When his wife happens by, you casually mention, "Your husband says he has a year's supply of Viagra. You must have a wonderful sex life."

The wife says, "He does? You couldn't prove it by me." And then she turns to him, "Honey, could we have a word?"

Carole adds, "Prying questions can be sidestepped with a little humor, a giggle, a twinkle in your eye, it keeps 'em guessing and adds to your mystique." When she gets the why-not-married question, she counters with, "Why are you still married?"

"I can't believe women aren't falling at your feet," is what John hears from friends. John says, "It's easiest to reply, 'They are,' and leave it at that, which seems to satisfy them."

And the ultimate ugly comment, "You aren't getting any younger" usually comes from a relative who isn't exactly a spring chicken herself. Best reply: "You could use a little nip, tuck yourself."

Candy says, "Those people inferring that I have the problem, actually have the problem--they need to get a life!" Amen, Candy.

I, for one, want to reestablish "single" as an ideal and those that choose another path are "unsingle." - Gordon Clay

Reasons to Become Unsingle


Reasons Not to Become Unsingle

I just started this list. If you have anything to add to either list, click here.

Related Topics: Unsingle (Married), Same Sex, Marital Therapy, Marriage Saver, How to make a Marriage Work, Unmarried Couples

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