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When You're Not In The Mood, And She Is
Being there for each other's needs is, of course, very important in having a great relationship, so if you find yourself telling her that you are too tired, just one too many times....well, it can have a damaging affect, especially if you aren't doing anything to fix the problem.
Now, we aren't talking about erectile problems, we're talking about just not being in the mood. Much of what you will read here is just common sense, but unfortunately not many of you have it.
1. The first thing you have to know is that with her, it isn't JUST about sex. 90% is of her wanting you to just hold her in your arms, talk to her and cuddle. What, you can't do that until you fall asleep? You talk outside of the bedroom, right? Why not go to bed 30 minutes earlier so you can cuddle and talk? This, by itself works wonders in pleasing her. The bedroom isn't JUST for sleeping and sex.
2. If you aren't already, hold her more while you are sleeping. Put yourself in a habit of doing that. Too many men take this one little thing for granted. Of course this doesn't give her the orgasm she wants, but again, giving her attention like this is part of it. And it's not a chore to just hold her in your arms.
Another thing you need to do is to tell her that you love her. Say it to her every night before drifting off to sleep while she is in your arms. You have to know that when a woman has sex, it is 99% mental and with emotions. With men, it's all about his penis. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am. Right?
3. Communicate with her. Talking can alleviate so many frustrations, arguments, and eventual divorces, yet so many people don't do this simple thing. Oh, they do talk about problems, but for what, a couple of minutes here and there? That's not enough. You need to tell her why you aren't in the mood as much as she is, and to let her know that you love her so much, so she won't think it's her. Saying, "It's not you, it's me" is not enough. Part of showing her how much you love her is to everynight in bed hold her in your arms and tell her that you love her. You should also, work something out with her that on the days that you are TOO tired, dog-dead tired, if she can do without the foreplay. She can have sex without foreplay on occassion.
4. Okay, with that said, here are a few things you can do to giving her an orgasm with as little energy on your part as possible. That didn't sound quite right, did it? In steps her vibrator, to the rescue!
The perfect position to satisfy her, well, hopefully, anyway, is to be in the spoon position, and use her vibrator on her. She gets the kissing, hugging, gentle nipple pinching, breathing in her ear, and, her clit being stimulalted, all in one. After she has come to an orgasm, make sure to keep holding her in your arms. Again, the bedrom isn't just for sleeping and having sex, so there is no reason why you two can't talk afterwards. Then you can drift off to sleep, while still in the spoon position.
Too many men think that when she wants sex, she wants the foreplay to go along with it, and that's why men say, "Not tonight, I'm too tired." Right? Well, that's not always the case. Being in the spoon position is a great position that satisfies the both of you.
Another thing that doesn't involve a lot of work is to go down on her. Suck and lick her clit, then afterwards hold her tight in your arms. That right there doesn't take a lot of energy, either.
You can also simply ask her what positions she thinks would work on the times you are tired.
5. Put yourself on a daily schedule. The reason why we can't get things done is because we don't put ourselves on a schedule.
If you're tired and/or stressed out, it is probably because you are doing so many things throughout the day. If you were to schedule it all out, you'll find that your stress level will go down, you'll be less tired, and you'll also have time for your wife/girlfriend. Going to bed 30 minutes earlier is one of the ways to schedule your day better.
6. Put yourself on a better diet. It doesn't have to be anything complex. Just make sure you eat the right foods that give you the most vitamins and minerals. You'll see a BIG difference. Don't underestimate this. If you put crap in your body, you'll feel like crap.
This is basically all you need to do if she wants sex more than
you do. And one more thing: Remember to put yourself in her position.
Remember the days when you were always horny? How would you feel if
most of the time she told you that she wasn't in the mood? How
frustrated would you feel the day after?