Menstuff® has information on Lies.

The Lies Men and Women Tell Each Other
13 Lies All Men Tell
Top 10 Lies Women Tell Men
10 Lies Guys Tell
Lies All Women Tell Men?


The Lies Men and Women Tell Each Other

When #Top10Lies popped up as a Twitter trending topic earlier this week, we did what any Cosmo editor in her right mind would do: We asked our followers to tweet us the most common lies they tell men and the fibs they hear most frequently from guys. Anything you think needs to be added to the lists?

The Top 10 Lies Men Tell Women

"I'm only going out for one pint." —Jennie

"I love you too." —Candace

"I didn't get your message. Must be my phone acting up again." —Kimberly

"No, I didn't check out the skinny blonde with DD's." —Codi

"I don't have a girlfriend." —Amanda

"I was listening, I swear!" —Katie

"You're different from any other girl I've dated." —Yuri

"I didn't think it would bother you." —Amaryn

"I left my wallet at home." —Christy

"It was just one time and it meant nothing." —Lorena

The Top 10 Lies Women Tell Men

"We were just friends." —Arianny

"Yes, of course I love your mom." —Lauren

"No, I'm not mad at all!" —Ryanne

"I don't think your best friend/brother is hot!" —Kathleen

"I don't usually do this." —Em

"I love watching football with you all day Sunday." —Jena

"I'm ready! [Said as he's on his way over and you're totally not ready.]" —Angelina

"Of course I'm over my ex." —Melanie

"Yeah, I know how to cook." —Brandi

"I'm fine." —Alyssa

13 Lies All Men Tell

If a man denies having a wandering eye, refers to Brad Pitt's performance in "Legends of the Fall" as "cinematic genius" or professes to love wine and cheese parties as much as you, one of two things is happening: He's either gay or he's lying. AOL Health asked Elina Furman, author of "Kiss and Run" and Michele Weiner-Davis, author of "The Sex-Starved Wife" and "The Sex-Starved Marriage" to weigh in on why men sometimes keep things from their partners and what that means for a relationship.

My hair is as thick and as luxurious as the day I graduated high school.

Multiply the amount of time you spend staring at your pores by ten. That's how much some men obsess over their thinning manes. "Men don't want you to know about any of their vulnerabilities," says Weiner-Davis. "It's a sign of masculinity."

I know you would never fake it.

Whether it's facing financial pressure with aplomb or satisfying you in the bedroom, men feel pressure to live up to society's definitions of masculinity. "Men often compare themselves to other people and to their own idealized definitions of what a masculine guy is all about," says Weiner-Davis. They feel like they need to measure up, and when they don?t, "it's pretty scary for them."

What woman in the thong bikini?

Sometime it's hard for a woman, let alone a man, to keep from looking at that bronzed beauty sunbathing on the beach. "It's part of human nature," says Furman. "We are all attracted to beauty. Most of the time we can't stop our own reactions when we're looking at women and men." When it comes to sexuality, men are not only more visually oriented, but they're also more likely to deny a wandering eye when confronted. "It's too bad," says Weiner-Davis. "It would be better if they would admit it and reassure their partners that it?s just looking?and isn't going to lead to a breach of trust."

Honey, you have such superb driving skills I don't feel the need to wear a seatbelt.

Ladies: How many times have you gotten behind the wheel only to have to pull over blocks later to let him drive? "Across the board, all men secretly think that all women can't drive," says Furman. "It's a control issue, and it's hard to give that up." With that said, it really comes down to personality type. Even women have trouble giving up the wheel if they have a commanding, type A personality.

Brad Pitt and George Clooney's movies are cinematic genius.

Really? I would think this one's a no-brainer, but here it goes. The only Brad Pitt movies a man would truly classify as cinematic genius are "Se7en" and "Fight Club." The only reason he can recite all the lines to "Legends of the Fall" and "Troy" is because he knows how much you like the, um, cinematography. See? We all tell little white lies once in awhile.

What puffy under-eye circles?

Men notice the lines on their face just as much as you do, even if they don't admit it. "Men are vain," says Weiner-Davis. So it's no wonder that the percentage of men who have had plastic surgery is up 17 percent from 2007, according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery. Surgical procedures, such as liposuction, eyelid surgery, rhinoplasty, breast reduction and hair transplantation, increased 5 percent among men, while nonsurgical procedures, including Botox injections and laser hair removal, increased by 21 percent.

I love wine and cheese night, too.

Most men would rather crack a cold one and watch the game in a ratty pair of sweatpants than go to your best friend's for fondue. Hey, that's okay. "If we were to marry our clones, life would be pretty boring," says Weiner-Davis. But that doesn't get men off the hook totally. "Good relationships are based on mutual caretaking," she says. Men and women need to take part in activities that interest their partners, even if it doesn't necessarily interest them. The key is being good-natured about it and really participating, no matter how many times you rescue a soggy bread-cube from Swiss cheese oblivion. "No sulking," she adds.

I'm not hurt, just angry.

When a man throws a tantrum or storms out of the house, more often he's feeling hurt or dejected instead of feeling real anger. "Men have a whole lot easier time being angry and expressing anger than saying 'This hurts,'" says Weiner-Davis. "They feel far too vulnerable.

I don't care what you think.

"Men really, really thrive on and need their partners? approval," says Weiner-Davis. They hate to be criticized or feel shame, especially when their wives aren't happy. "When you say 'We need to talk,' they feel shamed and blamed, because they really want to be doing right by their partners," she says.

I need to go golfing, bowling, or [insert requisite man activity here] to work on my game.

The reality is that many men take up time-consuming hobbies, like golfing or hunting, simply to get out of the house and away from their partners. "Men have more independent needs, and women are more relationship-oriented," says Weiner-Davis. So if a man's kept on a tight leash, it shouldn't be a surprise if an excuse to get out of the house is masqueraded as perfecting his golf game.

I'm not a crier.

While part of this may be true -- some men (women, too) just aren't criers -- men aren't made of steel, no matter what they want you to think. "One of the mistakes women make is they say to themselves, 'Men don't have feelings. They don't feel like women do,'" says Weiner-Davis. "Which is baloney." Men are often raised to believe that crying is shameful, emasculating and just not done in public, or private, but that doesn't mean those emotions aren't lying beneath the surface. "It must be tough having those feelings and feeling like there's no one you can talk to," she says. "When men feel bad it must be pretty lonely."

Primary breadwinner? Piece of cake.

Just because he's the primary breadwinner and likes to have control of household finances doesn't mean he's not totally stressed out about it. Men are worried to death about losing their jobs, especially in this economy, says Weiner-Davis. Getting laid off is devastating to anyone, but in terms of self esteem for men, "it's overwhelming."

I thought you were thinking that.

While most men want to please their partners, that doesn't always mean they're successful or even that they understand what it is their girlfriend or wife wants. "Women will say things to men, like, 'I want to make love tonight rather than have sex,'" says Weiner-Davis. "Women think they're meaning something when they say that, but they're not. Men don't get it. They may act like they do, but they don't." Men respond to action-oriented words, so if you want a more positive result, try saying, "Give me a kiss when you come from work" instead of, "You never pay attention to me."


Top 10 Lies Women Tell Men

Ah, women. So mysterious! So enigmatic! We have more layers than an onion. And men, poor, poor men. Left to figure us out all on their own. Sorry! We don’t mean to be confusing. We just are. While many of us strive to be honest, truthful, and forthright, we do not always tell the truth. That is the truth. Sometimes (gasp!), we lie. Most of the time, though, these are little white lies, half-truths told to keep the peace. Other times, our lies are a little bigger — say, for example, when the subject is sex. In honor of National Honesty Day, here’s a cheat sheet of the mistruths that are most likely to come out of a woman’s mouth, and what men can learn about the lies, the sweet little lies, that women tell. (Don’t worry — we’ve got lies dudes tell coming later today…)

1. ”I’ve slept with [X] guys.” Maybe she rounds up. Maybe she rounds down. Maybe she can’t remember. Whatever the case may be, more than a few women have lied about how many sexual partners they’ve had. Maybe she feels self-conscious. Maybe her number is higher than yours. To increase the likelihood she’ll tell the truth, make her confess first. (Editor: Maybe she's never actually gone to sleep with a man.)

2. “That was great.” Listen, nobody’s pointing fingers. Sometimes bad sex is a no-fault proposition. But if it’s not good for her, it’s altogether possible she may not be enlightening you on that matter. Whether she’s just not that into it tonight or she’s just not that into you, it’s hard for some women to be frank about sex, especially when the news isn’t good. Rely on her body language instead.

3. ”I have never nor would I ever cheat on you.” Do you remember that show on VH1, “Tough Love: Couples“? The number one cause of screaming fights? Cheating. Or, more specifically, lying about cheating. It’s not easy to tell someone when you’ve messed up; the fallout can be brutal. Remember: What you don’t know can spare you.

4. “I weight [X].” Here’s the thing. Women don’t lie about their weight because of you. Their reasons for doing it have everything to do with them. Not all women lie about their weight, but some do, and they do it for all kinds of reasons. Because they want to weigh less, because they want to weigh more, because they’re not sure and that number sounds about right. Women and their weight are a mysterious relationship with which you may not want to interfere. Take her word for it.

5. “Sure, you can call me.” Sometimes, when we’re face-to-face with a guy, and he’s asking us out on a first or for a second date, it’s tough to, er, woman-up and say, “You know what? Um, no.” We don’t want to be heartbreakers. We want to be nice. We’re sure you’ll get the message when we never call you back.

6. “I’ll be ready in a minute.” Listen, if before you left the house to go out on a date, you had to shower, shave half your body, slather yourself in moisturizer, apply 99 overpriced products, put on several layers of makeup, flat-iron your hair, pick out the perfect outfit that makes you look sophisticated/sexy/spectacular, it would take you a long time to get ready, too. So, wait.

7. “I don’t know.” We don’t know (ha!) if we’re going to get a lot of agreement on this one, but we are of the opinion that a lot of times when a woman says, “I don’t know,” she does, in fact, know. Women are intuitive like a nuclear power plant is radioactive, and it is upon our internal sonars that we rely. Mostly, we do know. We may not be ready to tell you.

8. “That was delicious!” If you cooked, we don’t care how it tastes. We will tell you we love it. Love us for that.

9. “I’m fine.” We’re going to go out on a limb here and suggest this is the single most common lie told by women to men. Or, you know, at the very least it’s the lie we’ve told most often to men. We are emotional creatures! Sometimes, we get upset! Maybe it’s because our Aries is in your Venus, maybe it’s because we got promoted at work and we’re scared as hell about living up to our own lofty goals, or maybe we’re in a mood. It’s up to you to figure out if you want to walk into our minefield or keep a safe distance away. Usually, your best bet is listening.

10. “It was on sale.” It wasn’t. Deal with it.

10 Lies Guys Tell

You've heard one of these before.

1. Come over. We won't make it a late night. Just one glass of wine. If a guy is trying to lure you over to his place for one glass of anything he is really trying to get you to have sex with him. And I mean a lot of sex. He knows there is a full bottle of wine being split in this case, then sex, so he knows it's going to be a late night. He hopes you know that and will come over anyway.

2. I like all your friends a lot. It's rare for a guy to like all your friends. He might get along with some, sure, but there's always one that just drives him crazy. For the record, it may be something bigger than the fact that her voice annoys him. Your guy might think she's manipulative toward you, or sees that she's stingy when you all go out so you always pay for her. But he's not going to say that. He's going to wait for you to say something about her first.

3. I would never fantasize about another woman in bed! Never say never. I hate to point it out but there's an old saying, "Show me a beautiful woman, and I'll show you a guy who's tired of sleeping with her." There is a place for fantasy in the bedroom and ideally it's articulated between you two and not all in his head. Still, never is a big word.

4. I can't wait to meet your parents. Some guys genuinely do want to meet your parents because they want to see where you come from. But the whole "I can't wait" thing is a fallacy. It's nerve-wracking for a guy to meet your parents. We just hope your dad doesn't bust our chops (too much) and we can relax around them. My friend Dave had a son a few years ago and when I asked him about how he felt about the gender he said, "In this case I only have to worry about one penis. If I were having a girl, I'd have to worry about thousands." From a young age dads worry about what will become of their daughters. It's hard being the guy that's having sex with daddy's little princess.

5. I hate strip clubs. Very few guys hate strip clubs. They might be uncomfortable in them or not like the idea of them but there is something primal within us where we enjoy seeing women naked. Sorry.

6. I have no idea why my ex is texting me. It's because they're still in semi-regular touch. In fact, she might just be replying to his text from earlier. That might not be a big deal to you (I'm friendly or friends with most of my exes) or it might. It's best to have that sort of conversation earlier rather than later in the relationship to find out who she is, when the break-up happened, and why, before you get too comfy with them being in regular contact.

7. You're so much hotter than all the other girls I know. Over the course of decades your guy has known a lot of women. School teachers, camp counselors, neighbor moms, classmates, girlfriends, bosses, employees, and then there's that one time he met Scarlett Johansson (in his head). You are hot, and I'm sure he thinks that, but there's someone he knows who is hotter.

8. That's the best sex I've ever had. Once in a blue moon this is true. But men know that it's a very nice thing to say to a lady after you've had sex with them, and a strong show of encouragement that might make you want to go again. In other words, it's an overplayed card. When four aces have already been played, the fifth should strike you as rather suspicious.

9. It wasn't that expensive/it was expensive. If you are eying a gift that was just bestowed upon you and he says, "That was actually pretty expensive," there's a 50/50 chance that he's telling the truth. If it's a gift that he bestowed upon himself that you are eying and he says, "It wasn't that expensive," it most certainly was.\

10. I'm just about to finish my drink then I'm coming home. The drink is about to be ordered, poured, or just arrived on the bar. In other words, don't hold your breath. He's more of a sipper than a chugger.

Lies All Women Tell Men?

Hey guys. As you may recall, exactly one month ago I wrote a piece called 7 Lies All Women Tell Men. It got such a big response that I feel it’s only fair to let you in on a little secret: those aren’t the only lies. Hence, I’ve worked up a sequel—seven additional well-meaning untruths you might hear from even the sweetest girl you’ve ever met. Just like before, there are smooth ways to deal with them that can keep you sane and score you points. So read up and take notes. Here goes…

8. “I don’t mind that you’re still friends with your ex.”

What we really mean: “I do mind. In fact, I hate it.”

What to do about it: It’s kind of like the “Bro Code,” (made even more iconic by Barney Stinson’s bro-tastic character on “How I Met Your Mother”). But this time, it’s the boyfriend code (or girlfriend code—we have to play by the rules sometimes, too). No matter how much I convince myself I’m cuter/smarter/all-around-better than she is, it will always bother me when you hang out with her. And it’s rarely about me not trusting you. Instead—get ready for your ego to seriously inflate—it’s about me not trusting her. I just can’t imagine why she wouldn’t be after my man whom she lost. So please, steer clear of the predatory ex. It’ll save you some serious drama, I promise.

9. “I’m just one of those girls who can eat what they want and not gain weight!”

Sign She’s Just Not That Into You: You’re Patrick f-ing Dempsey, and she’s ogling the pizza.

What we really mean: “I’m going to order a lot of food and pretend I can eat it all, but I probably won’t eat half of it.”

What to do about it: A guy appreciates a girl who can eat, amiright? But here’s the thing: we unlucky females can’t sustain a diet equal to yours and not sprout love handles for days. So yes, we might tell you that we love to eat—and most of us really do—to appear “cool” and not come off like one of those crazy calorie-counting chicks. And we might order a huge meal but push a good portion of it around our plates a la five-year-olds eating broccoli. Your best move is to roll with it. Whatever you do, don’t call us out if we actually do eat a lot. We just want the illusion of being able to keep up. Once you make it a reality, we’ll feel fat. It’s just how we are.

10. “You don’t have to get me anything for Valentine’s Day/our anniversary.”

Adriana said it best in her Super Bowl ad: “Give… and you shall recieve.” Also, black stockings are hot.

What we really mean: “Please get me something.”

What to do about it: Sure, Valentine’s Day may be a “Hallmark holiday.” But most of us in America are suckers for commercialism, anyway, so we’re prepared to give and receive gifts on February 14th. If I’m telling you not to get me anything—for V Day or an anniversary—I’m trying to be humble and evolved, but I’m still hoping you’re so compelled to show me how much you care that you’ll give a little something anyway. You don’t have to max out your credit card on diamond earrings or a trip to Paris (I’d prefer Greece anyway, natch), but getting me something small when I “don’t want anything,” will earn you major points and spare you a week of passive aggressive drama.

11. “It was on sale, I swear!”

Sign You’re Totally Whipped: This.

What we really mean: “It was not on sale, but I had to have it, and, yes, I probably overspent.”

What to do about it: If you really want to influence how much we spend, come shopping with us. I know, probably not what you want to hear. But if you join, not only might we become slightly guilt-ridden handing over too many designer duds to the cashier, but we’ll also be so frustrated with your impatience and indifference that we won’t be able to focus on the shopping task at hand and we’ll give up. That said, if you simply cannot bear the thought of hitting up Nordstrom for the third time this month, well then, it was on sale, I swear!

12. “Do you want to split the check?”

Well played, sir. Well played.

What we really mean: “This is the part where you tell me to put my wallet away.”

What to do about it: This one mostly goes for first dates. OK, the first several dates. I’m just feminist enough to know that, once we’ve been dating for a while, I can do my part by picking up the check (or at least splitting it) now and then. But when we’re first starting the dating game, my offer to split the check is purely for show. I’m civilized enough to do the reach-for-my-wallet dance, but in reality I’m looking for some good, old-fashioned chivalry. Please oblige.

13. “I don’t care how much you make/how much you spend on me. Just your love is enough.”

Gold diggers! Run, Kanye, run!

What we really mean: “I don’t care how much you make. As long as you can afford to take me out to some dinners and get me presents even when I say I don’t want them.”

What to do about it: Believe it or not, we’re not all soul-sucking, gold-diggers. But we do love the feeling of being taken care of (see number 12). So no, I don’t need you to be an investment banker pulling in seven figures at 27. I just don’t want to feel like my salary is the one carrying the relationship financially. I understand if you do work you’re passionate about that doesn’t happen to pay much. Just try to budget in a few dinners and pick up the check at the bar sometimes, and I’ll be appeased.

14. “I wasn’t ignoring you. I just didn’t hear my phone.”

Ten bucks says she just got a text from Brett Favre.

What we really mean: “I was ignoring you.

What to do about it: This goes hand-in-hand with the “I’m fine,” thing I mentioned last month. I’m upset with you for whatever reason, but I’m being passive-aggressive about it. So when I say this, don’t respond with, “OK” and end it there. Stick with me, be patient, and eventually you’ll be able to coerce the reason I silenced your call out of me. And then we can kiss and make up.

*    *    *

“Both men and women lie out of fear. The difference is what we’re afraid of. For example, the masculine lies to preserve respect, to keep from upsetting women, and to stay out of trouble. The feminine lies to cause or avoid feelings, to preserve acceptance, and to avoid emotional explosions. Both masculine and feminine lying are what I think of as ‘human animal attacks’ rather than an expression of Human Spirit. A huge victory of Human Spirit is being honest — as in telling people when you’ve lied.” — Alison Armstrong


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