Menstuff® has information on Female
Pedophiles.
Female
Pedophiles
Long
Term Effects of Sexual Abuse by a
Female
Female abusers hide
behind veil of motherly
stereotypes
Recognizing Women
Abusers
Why Yes Doesn't Mean
Yes
Mother-Son sexual
abuse
Related Issues: Pedophiles,
Sexual Abuse
of Boys
Pamphlets: The
InvisibleBoy: Revisioning the Victimization of Male Children and
Teens (57 pages) ;
It’s
Not What You Think: Sexually Exploited Youth in British Columbia
(60 pages)
It is not enough to shed tears for those who suffer the tragedy of sexual abuse, nor will much be accomplished nurturing hatred and devising punishments for those who sexually abuse. Only by sharing knowledge, providing training, exchanging ideas, and challenging traditional beliefs and biases can we respond effectively to sexual victimization. - Jan Hindman
This article is one I wanted to talk about because of some of the information they discuss that is not often seen in the media:
If nothing else, the case raises awareness of a topic that society as a whole - from police officers to social workers, teachers and the general public - has historically failed to acknowledge fully. Women can and do sexually abuse children. What's more, according to recent research, the failure to recognise this can hinder child abuse investigations and the detection of female abusers. Research for the NSPCC from 2005 says there is "compelling" evidence of a wide variety of sexual offences known to have been committed by women, either alone or with a man - from voyeurism to inappropriate touching, rape, penetration and ritualistic, sadistic sexual abuse.
While the existence of paedophile websites has been acknowledged and investigated for years, it is not so widely known that there are several sites catering for female paedophiles. One of these sites has carried comments such as "I really look at little girls and want to see them naked", and "I am a 21-year-old and for as long as I can think I have been attracted to young girls around 5-12 years old ... I buy movies because there are little girls in them. Books about little girls in sexual situations ... I am not attracted to women, only young girls." This particular website is one of the most prolific. Agencies have tried to close it down, only for it to re-emerge under a new name.
This part is the part that should catch peoples attention. "Several sites catering for female paedophiles" speaks volumes. In another recent article these websites were mentioned as well.
A senior paedophile investigator says lack of acknowledgement that women can and do sexually abuse children could delay detection of sexual assaults. "It's almost certainly the case that people tend to make assumptions it is the male doing the abuse. There have been a few cases where teams have had medical evidence that sexual assaults are taking place, but the officers have looked at the man again and again and found nothing - and then later thought; 'Ah, perhaps we should have a look at mum here.'"
"We have to get away from believing in the typical image of a
paedophile - a middle-aged, balding man wearing a dirty raincoat,"
says Zoe Hilton, policy adviser for child protection with the NSPCC.
"It's important that we don't become fixated with this image. It
blurs the real extent of sexual abuse and can make it difficult for
children to speak out. Child abuse is very prevalent in society, and
it comes from a range of sources, including those people whom society
views as maternal and nurturing: women". - Read the entire article
here
Some Statistics
According to a major 2004 study commissioned by the U.S. Department of Education - In studies that ask students about offenders, sex differences are less than in adult reports. The 2000 AAUW data indicate that 57.2 percent of all students report a male offender and 42.4 percent a female offender with the Cameron et al. study reporting nearly identical proportions as the 2000 AAUW data (57 percent male offenders vs. 43 percent female offenders).. (Source .PDF Download)
Approximately 95% of all youth reporting staff sexual misconduct said they had been victimized by female staff. In 2008, 42% of staff in state juvenile facilities were female. (Bureau of Justice Report)
More women (58%) than men (42%) are perpetrators of all forms of child maltreatment. (Child Maltreatment: Facts at a Glance CDC)
One in six adult men reported being sexually molested as children, and -- in a surprise finding -- nearly 40 percent of the perpetrators were female, a new study found. (Source Link)
About 27 percent of women and 34 percent of men among the Dunedin study members reported they had been physically abused by their partner. About 37 percent of women and 22 percent of men said they had perpetrated the violence. (Source Link)
UBC Study Challenges Stereotypes of Sexually Exploited Youth: Boys as Likely as Girls to be Exploited (Link)(Report)
In a study of 17,337 survivors of childhood sexual abuse, 23% had
a female-only perpetrator and 22% had both male and female
perpetrators. ( Dube, Shanta R et al. “Long-Term Consequences of
Childhood Sexual Abuse by Gender of Victim.” American Journal of
Preventive Medicine. (2005):28(5), p 430 – 438.)
Source: whataboutwhenmomistheabuser.blogspot.com/2009/07/female-pedophiles.html
Yes, women have been abused, (physically, sexually, and emotionally) by men for centuries. And yet women can also be the abusers. Would you recognize one? They don't all deliver cuts and bruises, and thus, may remain unnoticed by most. Yet the injuries they inflict can do more damage than the casual observer may notice.
In fact, women oftentimes can wreck about as much havoc on those in their environment as their male counterparts. Some are even clever actors who can morph from June Cleaver to Cruella De Ville in a moment's notice.
They are vindictive wives, caustic bosses, name-calling mothers and grandmothers, condescending friends, and nightmare employees.
They come in all walks of life, all socio-economic groups, ages, and races. And they can deviously trap their hostages in a living hell from which they may not know how to escape.
What do abusive women look like?
Well, they can use the exact methodology as the men do. They can use physical punishment, beating and/or torturing children or anyone less capable than they are (aging parents?) They can demand or withhold sex, using it as a weapon, or can cheat on their spouses without apparent conscience. They can name-call to the point where the victim is left feeling vile, unimportant, and as though they don't even exist. They can ignore and deliver the "silent treatment" as punishment for perceived wrongs. They can even hold all the purse strings, not allowing their husbands or family members to have so much as their own allowance. And they can prohibit their "loved ones" from even interacting with friends and extended family.
Want some real examples?
The mother of a 5 year old boy who taught her son total emotional confusion and lead him to a life filled with anxiety, due to her early treatment of him. Some days she would call him up to her lap to watch her TV shows with her when he came home from school, and yet other days she would reach out and slap him in the face unexpectedly and without warning. He never knew which mother to expect and after years of her roller coaster behaviors he still has a hard time trusting women.
The wife of a devoted husband who thought that she was the best thing that ever came into his life. While she didn't appear to have much of a sexual appetite with him, he later found out that she had been having affairs with 5 different men during their marriage, then accused him of being the one to destroy their relationship.
The woman who never takes responsibility for any of the situations in her life and blames everyone else for all the negative things that befall her.
The 94 year old mother of her senior citizen son who is still calling him demeaning names to this day. His ongoing attempts to win his mother's approval (even after all these years), has left him always feeling like a failure at most things he tries and wondering why she believes he is such a loser.
The wife of a man she so verbally and emotionally abused (a high ranking military doctor), that when she was hospitalized for a blood clot in her leg, he attempted to inject household poison into her IV line, later claiming that he "snapped" after years of the emotionally abusive environment in which he had lived. (He spent 18 months in Leavenworth.)
The mother who constantly tells her grown daughter in front of her grandchild, that she wishes she'd had an abortion instead of giving birth to her. That the daughter is, in fact, the worst excuse of a mother she's ever seen. (Now there's the pot calling the kettle black!)
The woman who never has a kind thing to say about anyone and yet is quick to offer criticism to all in her path.
The female boss who throws a temper tantrum because her name is misspelled on her nametag at the newcomer's management meeting. Who strikes terror in the hearts of her employees whenever she walks into their departments, as no one knows where her vile anger and words will strike next.
The woman who "forgets" to give birthday or Christmas presents to her "loved ones," yet expects substantial gifts and attention lavished on her when her birthday and other holidays roll around.
The radical religious grandmother who is raising her "bastard" grandchild and because her interpretation of her religion tells her that he is "unclean and wicked," forces enemas upon him every day of his life, leaving him with lifetime issues relating to his sexuality and his personal value.
The wife of a man who she constantly belittles about everything he does, from how he dresses, to how much money he makes, to how he makes love, or even bathes the children.
The female employee who makes everyone feel as though they must "walk on eggshells" around her, as she treats everyone with her "silent treatment" all shift, refusing to engage in conversation, or even acknowledge anyone else's presence or value but her own.
The mother who teaches her children to be shameful for any misbehavior they might experience, and then proceeds to remind them of their shameful selves as long as possible, only ensuring the development of their low self-esteem.
The condescending adult sister who loves to tell her grown siblings how they are terrible parents, undermines everything they do with their kids, and then attempts to "guilt trip" them about why they don't visit her more often.
The mother of a 12 year old child who "punished" her daughter for misbehaving by submerging her in a tub of scalding water. The child needed hospitalization and skin grafts.
Yes, women can be incredibly caustic abusers. And because society more generally expects women to be the victims, we may miss reading the telltale signs that the people who are subjected to these women on a day-to-day basis are slowly having their very souls chipped away bit by bit.
They may show signs of depression, anxiety, gastro-intestinal symptoms, insomnia, or a variety of other symptoms as a result of the chronic stress they live under. Unfortunately, they may not recognize that it is this emotional war zone they live in which may be at the root of these problems.
When women are the victims of abuse, they may be open to discussing their feelings and situation with others. They solicit information from their female friends or therapists to help find clarity and understanding in situations that may leave them feeling lost, confused, or in pain. Although many women still seem to stay "stuck" in abusive relationships (for many reasons), at least it seems to be more the norm that they still share their situations, and their pain with someone they can connect with.
With men, however, coping skills are often quite different. Men don't often chat over coffee about their relationships and many simply don't easily share their feelings with a well-meaning therapist.
Of course in our macho culture, admitting that one's wife is a husband abuser just doesn't make a man a "man's man" either. Admitting this situation to male counterparts (or others) may seem like emotional suicide to some.
In addition, since the majority of support groups for these type of victims tend to be comprised of mostly females, men might not feel at ease (or in some cases welcomed), as some female members may feel uncomfortable with any male presence in their midst.
Thus, males who are trapped in these abusive nightmares may find it even more difficult to explain their situations and safely extricate themselves from it, than do the women victims.
Educating men about the intricacies of these abusive, narcissistic individuals and specifically, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, may be the first line of defense for many who are walking in the dark, questioning their own sanity.
Knowledge is power. Enlightening male clients and friends to the wealth of knowledge available regarding this phenomenon may be their first step towards determining their future course and plans. Realizing that they are not going crazy and that they are not the only ones who feel lost and alone as the victim of abuse, can give many the first keys to unlocking the doors to their emotional freedom.
Educating our communities and getting the media to recognize and talk about the fact that abuse does not just involve the typical male brute, but can also include the stealth, covert manipulations of the female of the species as well might just make the difference for so many who feel trapped in the nightmare.
Finally, helping men realize that they are not alone in their confusion, depression, and emotional roller coaster ride living or working with a narcissistic female, can allow the formation of new paths to healing. It may give them new knowledge upon which they can make conscious choices for change.
In addition, it may lead many to better understand that abusive women can be pathological and may cause vast destruction to those in their path - including children who generally have no say in their situations.
So the next time you see on TV or in film, those wickedly funny women (like the character Jane Fonda plays in the new movie, "Monster-in Law"), don't laugh so hard. These women are as real as the men we see in mug shots and in the news each and every day - but too many times we just don't see them through their pearls and lace.
Mary Jo Fay, RN, MSN is a national speaker, award winning author, columnist, and survivor of several narcissistic relationships. Her book, "When Your Perfect Partner Goes Perfectly Wrong - Loving or Leaving the Narcissist in Your Life" is available at http://www.helpfromsurvivors.com or http://www.outoftheboxx.com. She can be reached in the US at 303-841-7691.
Copyright- 2005 Mary Jo Fay
Source: www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/26570.php
Female abusers hide
behind veil of motherly stereotypes
They're often overlooked by authorities who find and prosecute child molesters, and they are among the toughest types of sex offenders to treat once they're incarcerated.
These offenders are not set apart by where they grew up, where they live or what they do, but by their gender.
They're women.
Although women make up a small percentage of known sex offenders, that doesn't mean they aren't committing these types of crimes, according to researchers. Women offenders tend to receive the benefit of the doubt from people who investigate and prosecute claims of sexual abuse, said Dennis Stevens, a criminal justice professor at the University of Massachusetts Boston and a counselor at the women's prison at Framingham, Mass.
"We don't like to connect them with that crime," Stevens said. "That's our basic bread and butter for life: moms. That's like going South and attacking the Bible. It's not what you do."
Victims of female sex offenders are less likely to report the crime than victims of male offenders, said Norfolk, Va., psychologist Julia Hislop, who wrote the book "Female Sex Offenders: What Therapists, Law Enforcement and Child Protective Services Need to Know."
Teen boys are not seen as victims but as developing young men who are "experimenting" with their sexuality, Hislop said.
"A lot of (male) victims of females talk about trying to report their abuse and say they were congratulated rather than assisted," Hislop said. "It's difficult at times for men to come forward."
While men will travel outside their family and social circles to find victims, women offenders stay close to home, sometimes preying on their own children, Stevens said. Often this abuse is viewed as a "family" matter to be dealt with inside those confines, through counseling or, at worst, in family court. But the damage done by women offenders can be every bit as bad if not worse than crimes committed by men.
"They tend to be more pathological than males," Stevens said. "They're more ruthless."
And their victims are often too young to testify against their attackers, so authorities who are already reluctant to prosecute need physical proof of abuse before they can bring charges.
"It's very difficult to bring a charge like that against the mother, because not only are you attacking motherhood, but where do you get the evidence?" Stevens said.
The body of research on female offenders is considerably smaller than work done on male offenders. Although most research is less than 5 years old, it has yielded some insights on how woman can differ from male offenders, Hislop said.
Some women offenders commit crimes only in the company of a male offender. The reverse is rare, Hislop said.
At least one local case lends credence to this theory. Easton resident Linda Ackerman, 45, is serving a 10-to-20-year state prison sentence for luring at least two teenage boys to her bedroom for threesomes with her and her husband, Louis Ackerman, from 1995 to 1997.
Another type of female offender is the type who prefers to offend with teenagers. According to Hislop, these women are often lonely and angry, have difficulty with relationships with men, have poor understanding of sexual norms and have unresolved feelings from being abused themselves.
Former Easton resident Elizabeth Wright, 41, served nearly two years in state prison for having sex with a 16-year-old runaway. Court records say she served alcohol and played strip poker with multiple teens and wrote the 16-year-old boy love letters at his wilderness camp even after she had pleaded guilty to indecent assault.
The lack of research makes treating female offenders in prison a challenge for therapists, said Barbara Doebler, the director of the psychology department at the all-female state prison in Muncy, Pa.
Sex offenders are among the most likely criminals to re-offend. Women offenders are even more challenging to treat than men because their psychological damage is often deeper than men's, Doebler said.
"There is more background work to do because of the huge amount of psychological devastation these women are experiencing," Doebler said.
Women don't respond to the same confrontational techniques that can work for male offenders. Women, however, are often treated in the same programs as men, Doebler said. They are less likely to respond to male treatments because they don't want to admit they have forsaken the role of caregiver.
"Although men tend to deny, deny, deny, the women do it even more," Doebler said. "It's much more difficult for them to admit than men."
Northampton County Assistant District Attorney Pat Broscius, who prosecutes sexual abuse cases involving children, agrees with the experts that there are more women offenders in this area than statistics would reveal.
"You don't get that many," Broscius said. "I'm convinced they're not reported as quickly as male offenders."
Once they're charged, however, women offenders are treated the same as men by her office, Broscius said.
"Eventually, when they're caught, I don't see a difference,"
Broscius said.
Source: standyourground.com/forums/index.php?topic=9731.0;wap2
But when the perpetrator is a woman - and an attractive one at that - and the student is a pubescent boy, the prevailing thought is that she seduced him into an affair.
This double standard is clear in the case of Mary Kay Letourneau, the Washington State woman released this month after serving seven and a half years in prison for having sex with her student, Vili Fualaau. He's seen, with a wink and a grin, as a big man for scoring with an older babe. And she's seen as the siren who betrayed her husband and abandoned her four children in a misguided quest for love.
Vili was 12 when his teacher began to groom him for sex. She was 34. He wasn't a young stud, but a child exploited by an adult who was obviously mentally disturbed. She was not a seductress and they did not have trysts. She was a predator and what happened between them was second-degree rape.
Justice prevailed in this case - though it rarely even gets a chance in most instances of child sexual abuse - primarily because Ms. Letourneau blatantly violated parole after her first conviction and had sex again with Vili, who was then 13.
But if you ask the public's opinion, you will find that few people think that Ms. Letourneau's crime is as serious as that of a man having sex with a girl. Even if you discount the illicit, immoral nature of sexual contact between a 12-year-old and 34-year-old, how could there really be a "relationship," as it's often been described, between them?
The news media fuel the misconceptions. "Mary Kay gets her boy toy back," guffawed The New York Post on its front page. Many articles and TV reports have focused on the salacious specter of abuser and victim reuniting, perhaps with the two children they produced, as one big happy family. A tabloid once described Mr. Fualaau as saying that the two had sex in nearly every room of her house, something you'd never read about a man raping a child. But nobody talks about why Vili Fualaau was vulnerable to Ms. Letourneau in the first place, and the damage that childhood sex with an adult has caused to his psyche. Boys, the assumption goes, can take care of themselves.
Expect another round of books and movies portraying victim and perpetrator as star-crossed lovers. Recognizing the potential damage to child sex abuse awareness campaigns, at least one advocacy organization is gearing up to boycott what may come of any deals. But boycotts may not beat the appeal of the public's interest in the bizarre and taboo.
Behind the distorted views is the myth that boys cannot be raped by women. According to statistics from the National Center for Juvenile Justice, women commit 20 percent of sexual abuse of boys (and 5 percent of abuse of girls).
Biologically, research shows, the body responds to stimulation even when the mind says no. Boys may consent to sex with a woman because it's easier to identify with "getting over'' on someone, than being powerless to stop an attack. But even when children consent, it doesn't count because they lack the emotional and intellectual maturity to understand what they're doing.
Among the 28 female survivors of child sexual abuse whom I have interviewed, seven are former drug abusers, four are alcoholics, three were prostitutes, two cut their arms and legs with needles or razors, six have eating disorders, one has a multiple-personality disorder and one is a high school dropout with two babies and a third on the way. All have battled depression. The news media often point out the trauma, fear and shame at the root of such problems among women; but we rarely hear of their prevalence among men.
Studies show that male survivors also grapple with feelings of isolation, inadequacy and vulnerability, concerns about their sexuality and masculinity, and difficulties finding resources and support. Physically or sexually abused boys are more likely than those not abused to smoke, drink or use drugs. And in one study, 57 percent of molesters were themselves sexually abused as children.
In an interview on the NBC program "Today'' recently, Mr. Fualaau tried to explain whether he and Ms. Letourneau might reunite by saying, "I mean, we left on awkward terms." That reminded me of a 50-something woman who described how, when she was a teenager, an uncle would come to her for sex. He stopped for a few years, she said, "And then we got back together." Her sense of reality was so altered by her experience that she saw a relationship. Such is the case with Vili Fualaau.
Even if the two walked off into the sunset together, there can be no happily ever after to this sad tale. Mr. Fualaau, now 21, says he wants to be with Ms. Letourneau, and this month a judge lifted an order banning contact. The court has recognized that as an adult, he has a right to see her, but it's important to remember that the decision to do so was never his. Ms. Letourneau took away Mr. Fualaau's ability to choose for himself many years ago.
Expect another round of books and movies portraying victim and perpetrator as star-crossed lovers. Recognizing the potential damage to child sex abuse awareness campaigns, at least one advocacy organization is gearing up to boycott what may come of any deals. But boycotts may not beat the appeal of the public's interest in the bizarre and taboo.
Behind the distorted views is the myth that boys cannot be raped by women. According to statistics from the National Center for Juvenile Justice, women commit 20 percent of sexual abuse of boys (and 5 percent of abuse of girls).
Biologically, research shows, the body responds to stimulation even when the mind says no. Boys may consent to sex with a woman because it's easier to identify with "getting over'' on someone, than being powerless to stop an attack. But even when children consent, it doesn't count because they lack the emotional and intellectual maturity to understand what they're doing.
Among the 28 female survivors of child sexual abuse whom I have interviewed, seven are former drug abusers, four are alcoholics, three were prostitutes, two cut their arms and legs with needles or razors, six have eating disorders, one has a multiple-personality disorder and one is a high school dropout with two babies and a third on the way. All have battled depression. The news media often point out the trauma, fear and shame at the root of such problems among women; but we rarely hear of their prevalence among men.
Studies show that male survivors also grapple with feelings of isolation, inadequacy and vulnerability, concerns about their sexuality and masculinity, and difficulties finding resources and support. Physically or sexually abused boys are more likely than those not abused to smoke, drink or use drugs. And in one study, 57 percent of molesters were themselves sexually abused as children.
In an interview on the NBC program "Today'' recently, Mr. Fualaau tried to explain whether he and Ms. Letourneau might reunite by saying, "I mean, we left on awkward terms." That reminded me of a 50-something woman who described how, when she was a teenager, an uncle would come to her for sex. He stopped for a few years, she said, "And then we got back together." Her sense of reality was so altered by her experience that she saw a relationship. Such is the case with Vili Fualaau.
Even if the two walked off into the sunset together, there can be
no happily ever after to this sad tale. Mr. Fualaau, now 21, says he
wants to be with Ms. Letourneau, and this month a judge lifted an
order banning contact. The court has recognized that as an adult, he
has a right to see her, but it's important to remember that the
decision to do so was never his. Ms. Letourneau took away Mr.
Fualaau's ability to choose for himself many years ago.
Source: www.robinstone.com/articles/2004/boys_abused.asp
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