Single
Life 
Menstuff® has information on
the issue of the single life.
Louis
CK - Single People
A record number of women are
choosing not to have children
Are You Better Off
Single?
When it pays to stay
single
Dear Rest of the World, I'm
Perfectly Happy (Choosing) to Be Single
I’m More Sexually
Satisfied While Single—Here’s Why
Single in the
Suburbs
Single on Valentine’s?
Hooray! Single and Loving It
The single folks’ Hall of
Fame
Top 10 Date Movies
Top 10 Signs It's Over
Top 10 Signs You're
Whipped
Top 10 Signs Your First Date Was A
Success
Top 10 Ways To Make Her
Approach You
Top 40 Best Places to Be
Single
Being
Unsingle
A record number of women are
choosing not to have children
In 2014, nearly 48% of women between the ages of 15 and 44
had never had kids. That's the highest percentage of women
of those ages without children since the Census Bureau
started tracking the statistic in the 1970s.
But the expectation to have kids is still there. Women
who make the choice to forgo motherhood are slammed as
selfish or immature. Entire articles are dedicated to the
plethora of reasons women choose not to have kids, as if
their decision warrants a longer explanation than "works for
her, not for me."
Source: www.upworthy.com/kim-cattralls-poignant-spot-on-response-to-those-still-asking-why-she-doesnt-have-kids?c=upw1&u=07fa0e7f2d23f338b4a3b29d16b2a71a4c4e496b
The single folks’ Hall of
Fame
Once upon a time, living “happily ever after”
meant finding your Prince Charming or Princess and being
saved from a life of loneliness. Thankfully, that fairy tale
is being rewritten, and in honor of National Singles Week,
we’d like to salute that fact. More men and women are
single: 95 million Americans, to be exact, which is a
whopping 43 percent of the population. They’re finding
happiness, success and, yes, sometimes also love—all
while flying solo.
Your own firsthand experience has undoubtedly acquainted
you with some of the benefits of flying solo. “When you
don’t have that automatic Friday night date, it’s
a push to go out and figure out what gets you excited,”
explains Sasha Cagen, author of Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for
Uncompromising Romantics. “It’s good to have the
time to figure out what you love to do outside of work and
romantic relationships.”
But if you’re not a believer yet, then look at these
seven amazing singles. From celebrities you may not have
guessed were unattached to ordinary people doing
extraordinary things, our Single Hall of Famers prove that
you don’t have to be hitched to have a happy
ending.
Diane Keaton
There was a time when Diane Keaton felt she had to find a
man. The Oscar-winning actress, who leapt to stardom as the
charmingly neurotic Annie Hall in the ’70s, has said
that there’s a certain point in all our lives when
we’re biologically driven toward the opposite sex:
“You dream about men, you love them, you’re
excited by it, and I don’t feel that way now.”
Why the change of heart? With a relationship record that
has included the notoriously high-maintenance Woody Allen
and Warren Beatty, Keaton, 60, says it was a combination of
age and experience. Her true loves now, she says, are
adopted children Duke and Dexter, and she considers
“mother” the greatest role of her life.
With 40 films already under her belt and several comedies
in the works, her acting career — usually centered on
playing strong, quirky women — is showing no sign of
slowing down. When she’s not acting, Keaton serves on
the board of the Los Angeles Conservatory, a group dedicated
to making sure the city’s architectural gems grow old
gracefully—much as she’s doing.
Bill Hemmer
Bill Hemmer has never been content to settle—when it
comes to his love life or his career. His decade of
reporting, first for CNN and now for Fox News, has included
memorable stints in Kuwait and Afghanistan. But it’s
not just his reportorial skills that have earned him all his
fans... he’s easy on the eyes, too. When asked about
his leading-man good looks, he jokes that his ears —
and his listening skills — are his best features.
Hemmer, 41, doesn’t ever seem to sit still, filling
his downtime with skydiving, bungee jumping and other
extreme sports. He’s said that he’d love to get
married and have kids—but he isn’t rushing love.
“If it happens, great,” he’s said. “If
it doesn’t happen, I’m not going to force
it.” And — newsflash — it certainly seems
that more and more other single people have adopted that
same attitude in recent years.
Maureen Dowd
If you think journalism and politics are still a
man’s world, don’t tell that to Maureen Dowd. The
only female columnist at The New York Times, the 54-year-old
Pulitzer Prize winner has tackled every topic, from former
President Bill Clinton’s presidential scandal to the
evolution of the gender wars, in the process earning the
nickname “The Cobra” from Dubya. Even those on the
receiving end of her barbs can’t help but acknowledge
the charm and Hollywood-style sex appeal of the feisty
redhead. Former boyfriend and West Wing creator Aaron Sorkin
called her “a dream girl... like she stepped out of a
movie from the ’40s.”
Though she earns praise from presidential press
secretaries and ex-boyfriends, two groups you might not
expect to have anything nice to say, Dowd holds fast to the
belief that she doesn’t need a man in her life.
“Men used to be necessary in terms of reproduction and
refinance,” she said when promoting her book Are Men
Necessary? When Sexes Collide, “but we don’t need
them for that anymore. They’ll be necessary like ice
cream is necessary.” Which isn’t to say that love
and relationships shouldn’t be enjoyed—just that
this is one woman, like many other single people, whom
you’ll never find sitting home by the phone.
George Clooney
Even when his only acting credits were cheesy sitcoms and
B-movies, George Clooney turned heads. These days, though,
he also makes people sit up and listen. Over the past
decade, Clooney has evolved from sexy actor to sexy and
powerful actor, producer and director, not to mention Oscar
winner. Between making movies that make people think to his
political activism in troubled regions such as Darfur, he
has become one of the leading liberal voices in Hollywood.
You may love it or you may hate it, but you have to admire a
man who stands up for what he believes—and actually
manages to effect change.
But one role he swears that he’ll never reprise is
that of a husband. His four-year marriage to Talia Balsam
ended in 1993, and he famously told Barbara Walters that
he’d never marry again. “I love women, I love
their company,” he’s said. “But after going
through a marriage which turned out to be a disaster and
some other relationships which I thought would turn out but
didn’t, obviously you begin to doubt whether
you’re really cut out for long-term commitment.”
But while the world may see him as an eternal bachelor,
Clooney, 45, says he’s been in a serious relationship
for 15 years—with his Vietnamese pot-bellied pig named
Max.
Jane Ganahl
San Francisco Chronicle writer Jane Ganahl is not only a
keen observer of single life—she’s also a champion
of it. In her critically acclaimed column, Single-Minded,
the 40-something Ganahl sings the praises of flying solo by
reminding readers that their unmarried status allows them to
have more room in the tub during bubble baths, buy the
flowers they really like and do exactly what they want to
do, when they want to do it.
“Should I be down in the dumps, lonely or ashamed on
V-Day?” she mused recently about the holiday that
single people are supposed to dread. “Nah, it takes too
much effort. I’d rather do what I’ve done in other
boyfriend-free years: have lunch with girlfriends and have a
really nice spa treatment.”
Other issues she explores in her column range from the
political impact of the growing numbers of unmarried voters
to the dating guides that make being unattached sound like a
disease. “Yes, the world is finally catching on to the
fact that middle-aged doesn’t mean dead or even
dormant,” she writes in a recent piece. “I think
for many, what comes next is a more fulfilling
life—where being single is not considered a problem to
be fixed.”
Charlize Theron
Tall, blonde and beautiful, actress Charlize Theron is
known as much for her glamour as for her willingness to
discard it for choice movie roles. Conventional wisdom would
say that she could have her pick of husbands... but walking
down the aisle isn’t a goal of hers. The 30-year-old
Oscar winner says you don’t need a marriage ceremony or
certificate to have a great relationship. “I’m
happy for people who want to be married, but it’s not
my thing,” Theron said recently. “I don’t
need to wear a white dress and throw a big party. To me,
that’s like a premiere.”
Theron, who’s been in a serious relationship with
actor Stuart Townsend, says she would like to have a family
someday. But weary of media speculation over whether she and
Townsend will tie the knot, she told Extra that they would
marry only when the U.S. government grants gay and lesbian
couples the right to wed as well. “We’ve decided
that we’re going to use that in a positive way,”
she said. “So the day that law gets passed, then
we’ll get married.”
Oprah Winfrey
Possibly the best-known woman in America, Oprah Winfrey
embraces her single status. While marketing consultant
Stedman Graham has been her steady for 20 years, Oprah says
marrying him would jeopardize the relationship.
“Stedman’s a traditional black man,” she told
the Chicago Sun-Times recently, “but I’m in no way
a traditional woman.” With a daytime talk show
that’s topped the ratings for two decades, O magazine,
cable’s Oxygen Network, an impressive acting and
producing résumé, a charitable foundation that
has channeled millions into social causes and her status as
the first female African-American billionaire in the U.S.,
that’s an understatement, to say the least.
Questions about whether she will ever get married have,
at times, become a national obsession. But Winfrey says that
people don’t actually care about her relationship; they
just want to see an extravagant wedding. “They want to
see doves fly,” she has said. “They want to know
what you wore, how much you spent on the cake, who
came.” But she says the world “is catching on to
what I already know: a piece of paper does not define a
life.” One look at her intelligence, creativity and
generosity shows what does.
Source: By Sue McHugh, msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=6728&TrackingID=516311&BannerID=544657&menuid=6>1=8535
Are you better off single?
Attention, single people of America: You can splurge on a
fancy new wristwatch without having to explain yourself. You
can stay out till 3 a.m. without having to phone home. You
can leave the toilet seat up. In fact, there are many, many
ways that single life rocks, though you may forget that fact
when your relatives are grilling you about settling
down.
Not only do you have the freedom to do anything you
want—it’s also the best time in history to be
flying solo. The marriage rate has declined nearly 50
percent since 1970, according to the National Marriage
Project at Rutgers University, and right now, there are
approximately 100 million singles in the U.S. And
there’s strength in those numbers: “Today’s
choose-to-be singles differ from the poor-me singles of past
generations; there’s less of a stigma attached to being
single, ” says Jerusha Stewart, author of The Single
Girl’s Manifesta. “Singles are traveling,
buying homes and doing everything they want to—you
don’t have to get married anymore to live your life
with style.”
Want more specifics on why you should celebrate being
single? Here, 10 fascinating benefits to being single rather
than un-single:
Reason #1: You have a better body.
We’ve all been there—you get into a
relationship, and suddenly you’re trying out new
recipes all the time and cuddling instead of exercising.
Well, things tend to get worse when you become un-single. A
recent Cornell University study found that women generally
gain five to eight pounds in the first few years of
unsingleness and unhappily unsingle women gain an average of
54 pounds in the first 10 years.
For the single, though, the motivation to stay slim
remains: “Singles look at themselves through the eyes
of others and want to be attractive to potential
partners,” says Susan Davis, Ph.D., a clinical
psychologist in New York City, “so they’re still
‘working on themselves.’” In short, being
single is way better than any New Year’s resolution or
exercise DVD to motivate you to stay in shape.
Reason #2: You’re more likely to achieve great
things.
It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you have
the time, the quiet and the lack of familial
responsibilities. In fact, your premarital motivation to
excel in life may be biologically programmed. According to a
study conducted at the London School of Economics and
Political Scientists, male scientists who stay single longer
peak in their careers later in life and tend to be more
productive than their un-single counterparts. Researchers
theorize that men, in general, may show off their talents to
win the interest of women and then, once they’ve won a
wife, get comfortable and do less. In fact, studies have
shown that testosterone levels, which boost action, decrease
after a man becomes un-single and has children. So single
folk should know they are primed to achieve — whether
that means turbo-charging their careers or honing their
rock-climbing skills — and get out there and work
it!
Reason #3: You do less housework.
You know that saying about a tree falling in a forest and
there’s no one there to hear it? Well, if you leave a
sock on the floor but there’s no one else there to see
it, does it really need to be picked up? If you’re a
single woman, you can contemplate deep questions like this
one because you have more free time. According to one study
published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, women do
less housework when single than when unsingle. Men, on the
other hand, do more housework when single (that’s
probably because there’s someone picking up after them
once they’re wed…). So the message here is for
single women to enjoy their less chore-filled life; fill
those free hours with classes, good books, blabbing with
friends—whatever makes you happy.
Reason #4: You can do what you want with your
money—including keep it.
Go ahead: Splurge on that pricey moisturizer or that
obscenely large plasma TV you’ve been lusting after.
You don’t have to justify your purchase to anyone but
yourself. Once you mix money with the un-single life,
though, things change—and fast. According to a survey
by SmartMoney magazine, 40 percent of women and 36 percent
of men have lied to their spouses about a purchase.
“When you’re single, your finances are your
own,” explains Phyllis Chase, a Los Angeles–based
psychologist and co-host of the radio show Shrink Rap.
“When you’re unsingle, you have to deal with
different styles of spending and saving, and you may take on
your partner’s debt.” And an un-single life that
doesn’t make it for the long haul can also have a major
negative effect on one’s wealth. According to
researchers at Ohio State University’s Center for Human
Resource Research, during a divorce, men and women generally
lose three-fourths of their personal net worth. Double
ouch.
Reason #5: You have better sex.
Un-single couples may have more sex (approximately 98
times a year vs. singles’ 49), but singles have better
sex. According to a recent study published in the British
Medical Journal, un-single women are significantly more
likely to report problems with their sex lives than single
women. “People who are dating have better sex because
it’s novel,” says Davis. “Un-single people
have to relearn how to play. It’s natural for singles
because that’s the nature of a courting
relationship—they tease, they experiment, they
explore.” Nature lends a helping hand, too. According
to researchers at the University of Pisa in Italy, raging
testosterone levels in both men and women makes the sex
hotter during the first two years of a relationship. After
that, other hormones take over—most notably, oxytocin,
a bonding chemical, kicks in. While getting connected and
comfortable is a positive step in a relationship, long-term
lovers have to work harder to keep things hot in the
bedroom. Singles, however, sizzle just the way they are.
Reason #6: You’re better rested and smarter.
While snuggling up next to a warm body can be pretty
fantastic, according to a survey conducted by the National
Sleep Foundation, your bedmate can cause you to lose an
average of 49 minutes of sleep per night. Sleeping
two-to-a-bed just isn’t as restful as snoozing solo.
Other studies confirm that singles generally get more rest
— seven to eight hours of sleep a night — than
un-singles, which enhances memory, mood and concentration,
as well as allows your immune system to recharge. And,
according to scientists at the University of Luebeck in
Germany, creativity and problem-solving may directly
correlate with getting enough sleep. In the study,
participants were given a math puzzle; those who’d had
eight hours of sleep or more before tackling it were three
times more likely to get the right answer than those who
slept less. So, singles, revel in the fact that you’re
alert, rested and have that extra brain-power edge.
Reason #7: You’re less depressed.
Although the media often perpetuates the image of single
people being down in the dumps, overall single people tend
to be happier than their un-single counterparts—if
you’re a woman, that is. One report by the World Health
Organization indicated that un-single women, especially ones
with children, have a higher risk for depression than single
women, and researchers at the University of London found
that single women generally have fewer mental-health issues.
“An un-single life, in many ways, seems to benefit men
more than women,” says Davis. “For women,
there’s more of a loss of self.” And, of course,
today’s women often feel like they need to do it
all—have a career, take care of the kids and perform
other traditionally “female” responsibilities.
“People who are single are still investing in
themselves,” says Davis. “It’s not
selfish—it’s giving to yourself, and that’s
something un-single people can learn from single
people.”
Reason #8: You have better friendships.
Significant others are a wonderful thing, no doubt, but
friends count, too. And on that front, one study found that,
when women become un-single and have children, they spend
much less time with their friends—less than five hours
a week, down from 14 hours. Singles, however, often have the
greatest sense of friendship and community—which can
actually decrease stress levels, according to researchers at
UCLA.
Here's another way to look at this: “Singles
don’t rely on just one person to meet their needs. You
don’t automatically know who you’re going to spend
Friday night with,” says Sasha Cagen, author of
Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics.
“The plus side is that you have a lot of different
people in your life and potentially a greater sense of
social possibilities.”
Reason #9: Your travel tales are enviable.
Un-singles take the most vacations, dominating the market
with 62 percent of all trips taken, but singles arguably go
on more interesting trips. According to the Travel Industry
Association of America, singles corner the adventure-travel
market, engaging in activities like whitewater rafting,
scuba diving and mountain biking. Being single and
relatively footloose certainly allows you to expand your
geographical — and personal — borders. “I
have lived abroad, backpacked for close to a year, have been
in love three times and much more,” says Courtney
Davis, 27, a media-relations manager in Boston. “With
every place and every person, my world has
expanded.”
Reason #10: You know yourself—and what you want out
of a relationship.
You’re a better catch now than you were at 20. You
may have signs of, ahem, experience etched on your face, but
that’s OK because you’re more interesting and more
self-aware. Not only have you grown as a person, but
you’ve probably been through the ringer a few times in
matters of love and now know what you want—and what you
don’t. Experts say that bodes well for future un-single
success and may actually decrease the likelihood of divorce.
“When people become un-single young, they often feel
like the other person will complete them, and they have
trouble moving past that Hollywood myth,” explains
Chase. “But maturity brings so much, because if
you’re able to communicate who you are and what you
want, the better your chances of having a successful life as
un-single.” And that’s a wonderful message: Your
single self is great... and should you find the right person
and decide to become un-single, you’re more likely to
thrive in that stage of your life, too.
Source: Dawn Yanek is the author of
How to Find the Right Person in 90 Days and
Women’s Best-Kept Secrets. She frequently
appears on VH-1, MSNBC, and other networks as a commentator
on relationships, celebrities and lifestyle trends.
msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=6320&menuid=7&lid=0
When it pays to stay single
Though being married offers a number of financial
advantages, being single also has some clear-cut benefits.
Learn how it affects taxes, credit, debt and other key
issues.
Every married person who has argued with a spouse about
money has longed to be single again and in total financial
control.
That wish usually subsides -- how quickly depends in part
on the dollar amount in dispute. But that fleeting thought
raises an interesting question.
Is there a time when being single is more financially
desirable?
Sure, marriage has many economic advantages, such as
pooled income, shared health-insurance coverage, although
more companies now also offer this benefit to unmarried
couples, and Social Security survivor benefits. Even the
marriage tax penalty has been eased in recent years.
But in some instances, it's more practical to remain
unhitched.
"One thing to keep in mind is that it's always a mix of
financial and emotional decisions," says Scott Farber, a
wealth management adviser based in Natick, Mass. "It's
difficult to look at a relationship from a strictly
financial standpoint."
"However, there are some general instances when it might
be better not to be married."
That's how Sheryl Garrett, a certified financial planner
with Garrett Planning Network in Shawnee Mission, Kan., sees
it, too.
"There are definitely way more advantages on (the
married) side of the fence," says Garrett. "But there are
some clear ones on the unmarried side, too."
While there's no "typical couple" that should consider
living together without official legal status, there are
some typical issues. Basically, says Garrett, staying
legally unattached could be financially beneficial for one
or both partners when these five issues come into play:
Liability
Credit and debt concerns
Survivor's benefits
Taxes
Children
Liability for married and unmarried
One of the great things about marriage is you get to
share everything. That's also one of the worst things about
marriage, especially when it comes to liability issues. You
could be financially responsible for judgments against your
spouse, such as personal lawsuits or Internal Revenue
Service liens and all types of legal actions in between.
Janice K. Hobbs, owner of Jan Hobbs Financial Group in
Orange, Calif., says this is a concern of many of her
clients who primarily are high-income individuals.
"We have a lot of doctors as clients, both partners are
physicians, which is a high-liability profession," says
Hobbs. If one of the doctors is sued, the other person's
assets are just as liable -- if they are married. By staying
single, Hobbs says, only the one physician's income and
assets would be at risk.
The liability issue doesn't just worry still-working
people who are making a good living.
Garrett says a book buyer raised similar concerns at a
signing for her book, "Money without Matrimony," that she
co-wrote with Debra Neiman.
The woman, in her late 50s, had a new man in her life and
they were considering another go at marriage. She was in a
good financial position, but a combination of previous
marital and business problems had left him dealing with the
aftermath of a divorce, bankruptcy and some lingering
financial issues.
"He hadn't had much of a chance to recover financially,
although he had moved on emotionally, and he had a terrible
credit score. He was a great guy with completely
understandable credit problems," says Garrett.
"Her question was, 'If we did get married, would that be
a bad idea?' My answer was that if they keep things
separately, depending on the state (of residence), his debts
in his name and her assets in her name, you're fine. But if
he gets sued. ...
"She said, 'Stop. I think we're going to wait.'"
Commingled credit and debt
That cautious woman's remarriage query also raised the
issue of shared credit, which Garrett says can go hand in
hand with liability worries.
The credit-reporting business has evolved so now each
person has an individual credit score. So unless you borrow
money together, getting married doesn't automatically hurt
you from a credit standpoint, says Garrett.
Debt is a slightly different matter. That's because in
some states, when you marry you also marry your spouse's
debt, especially if post-marriage payments come out of a
joint account.
"If you have a situation where one partner is heavily in
debt, especially if the one in debt has fewer assets,
marriage could potentially expose the nondebtor's assets,"
says Farber.
Where you live also could affect your debt status. In
community-property jurisdictions -- Alaska, Arizona,
California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas,
Washington, Wisconsin or Puerto Rico -- community property
includes the earnings of both partners while married, as
well as everything purchased with that money. If separate
property is commingled with community property during a
marriage, it could be viewed as community property.
Similarly, all debts incurred during marriage, unless
specifically noted as separate, become community-property
debts.
It's easier to avoid responsibility for a spendthrift
partner's debts when you simply live together. Just be sure
you don't inadvertently invalidate this unmarried advantage.
Don't take on joint transactions, such as helping your
financially struggling partner pay an overdue loan, or it
could show up on your record, too.
Securing survivor's benefits
When it comes to federal retirement benefits, marriage is
advantageous for many couples. A surviving spouse gets to
choose between his or her own benefits or those of the
deceased spouse, whichever is greater. (This usually happens
more often with women, says Garrett, though some men receive
such benefits.)
There's no comparable survivorship payment for partners
who just live together. But this benefit could interfere
with the decision of a widow or widower who wants to
remarry.
"Say there's a woman who's a widow and involved with
another man," says Garrett. "She has her deceased husband's
benefits and the man has his own. Together they have enough
to live on comfortably.
"But if they get married, her Social Security goes away
and she would qualify for half of her new husband's
benefits. That could be several hundred dollars less a
month, and that amount could make a big difference."
Hobbs agrees. "If your new spouse doesn't have the same
work history as your old spouse, you may have traded off a
good benefit," she says.
Contact your local Social Security Administration office
and have them run some numbers for your personal situation.
The calculations could help you decide whether you want to
walk down the aisle.
Garrett also warns couples not to forget about how tying
the knot could affect private-sector benefits.
"Fewer people get traditional pensions nowadays, but
folks who are now retired historically had a pension. There
are a lot of widows out there who have their husbands'
pensions. If they remarry, they would lose that pension
income. Most seniors know this, but what they don't think
about is health coverage, a big issue now. If you're getting
health benefits from a deceased spouse's coverage, you could
lose that, too.
"I really hate that people would choose not to get
married if they really want to because of financial issues,"
says Garrett, "but at least know what you're getting
into."
Older couples, who are depending primarily on federal
medical coverage, also need to assess their marital or
nonmarital situation carefully.
"One of the reasons to get married is to share benefits
if you're older," says Farber. "But the flip side is that
you'll then be subject to the Medicare claims
thereafter."
For example, say you have a house in your name only. If
you're married and your spouse goes into a nursing home,
Medicare will want to tap your home, assuming there are no
other assets to pay for nursing-home costs, to recoup its
expenses, says Farber. "If you're not married, you remove
the house from that exposure.
"When you have one spouse that's going to be on Medicare
and the non-Medicare spouse is the homeowner, it makes sense
to not be married at that point," she says. "I've heard of
situations where people even get divorced to prevent
exposure of assets they acquired together as a married
couple from being subject to claims in this situation."
Taxes and the unmarried couple
By now, almost every taxpayer knows about the marriage
tax penalty. This tax-rate quirk generally affects a couple
when both earn roughly the same amount.
"The marriage penalty has been minimized greatly from
what it used to be," says Garrett, "but it still exists,
especially for people who both make a lot of money."
And unless Congress takes action to extend the marriage
tax relief, the penalty will return in full force in 2011.
Meanwhile, even with the temporary tax relief for married
couples, there are other tax situations where being single
is more fiscally rewarding.
The tax code is fraught with phase-outs and restrictions.
"For example, the Roth IRA contribution limit for married
couples is higher but not double that of two singles," says
Farber. "If you're single and make between $95,000 and
$110,000, you can contribute to an account. If you're
married, you can contribute if you make between $150,000 and
$160,000.
"If each individual earns $90,000, each can contribute up
to the limit unless they are married. By being married,
their joint income will be taken into account and neither
can contribute to a Roth because it exceeds the limit."
Married couples also could face higher tax costs than
living-together counterparts if they own rental real
estate.
"Write-offs from rental real estate can be used to offset
ordinary income unless your adjusted gross income exceeds
$150,000," says Hobbs. "And that limit is the same, whether
you're married or single.
"Say you had an unmarried couple and each partner kept an
old condo and rented it out. They each would have a $3,000
to $4,000 write-off each year. But a married couple with
$200,000 adjusted gross income cannot take any of those
losses against ordinary income."
A $100,000-per-year income level is not that unusual for
investors looking to get into today's escalating real-estate
market, says Hobbs. That means married rental-unit owners in
her Southern California location often lose out on expected
tax benefits.
Taking care of the kids
Then there are the kids. Both minor children living at
home and adult offspring who are long gone can muddle the
married-versus-living-together equation.
When it comes to obtaining federal financial aid for
college, being unmarried offers an advantage, albeit one
that many parents might not be comfortable taking.
"If there's a child where one adult is the legal parent
and the other isn't, by law you don't have to report the
income of the nonparent, but there are ethical
considerations," says Garrett. "The FAFSA form literally
asks for the information on the father and mother. If
there's no legal mother or father, you're answering it
correctly. But if the partner is helping or will help pay
for the schooling, that's something you probably should
consider in answering." (For more on college funding, read
"How
to find free money for college."
)
A more emotional issue for many unmarried couples is
grown kids from previous relationships.
"One of the biggest reasons that some older people choose
not to remarry is because of the family dynamics, whiplash
or backlash from adult children," says Garrett. "This new
person in a parent's life might be really charming and
attentive, but might just be after Mom or Dad's money, 'our
inheritance.'"
In such cases, Garrett has some unequivocal advice for
the kids: "Get your noses out of your parents' business and
let them get on with their lives."
Farber agrees that emotional issues "are almost always
going to take the front seat." But, he says, "financial
issues you can deal with; you can come up with solutions."
One of the easiest solutions: basic estate planning.
"You have to have a will or trust in place to direct
where your assets will go, regardless of whether you're
married or just living together," says Garrett. "If you're
married, you can say where you don't want them to go. If
you're not married, you can determine where they will
go."
This explicit distribution direction is necessary because
without it, the state decides. If you stay unmarried and
have no will or trust, all your assets will go by default to
your next of kin, your children. Your partner will get
nothing. Conversely, if you marry and don't have a will or
trust, your new spouse will get it all, leaving your kids
without an inheritance. (For articles on wills and estate
planning, see "Estate
planning for everyone."
)
"Put in place a living trust that spells out that my
partner will get this and my kids will get this," says
Garrett. "Put all that in print so that it's not left
open."
Source: Kay Bell, articles.moneycentral.msn.com/CollegeAndFamily/SuddenlySingle/WhenItPaysToStaySingle.aspx?GT1=8690
I’m More Sexually
Satisfied While Single—Here’s Why
For some reason, there’s some weird stigma about
single women either being sex-deprived, desperate or
complete f**king nymphos. While there’s nothing wrong
with enjoying casual sex, some of us just don’t want
casual sex right now. Thankfully, us single gals don’t
necessarily need another person to have a fulfilling sex
life.
As someone who’s perpetually single AF, but who also
loves sex, I’m a master at satisfying myself sexually.
In fact, I’ve been more sexually satisfied in my last
three years of singledom, than I’ve been in any
relationship, and here’s why.
1. I just focus on myself
While pleasing someone else can be sexually liberating,
focusing on my own sexual pleasure obviously makes me feel
more satisfied. Plus, I don’t have to fake my orgasms
anymore or worry about that awkward, mid-sex dirty talk.
(Unless you count me yelling at my vibrator because its
batteries died mid-climax as dirty talk.)
Masturbation is key to your sexual satisfaction, but not
that same old mundane routine you do before bed (because
every girl should have a solid bedtime routine).
Masturbation should extend past using your trusty fingers
all the time. That’s right, it’s time to use your
single woman status to experiment with sex toys. Trying
different sex toys can help you learn more about your own
body— what turns you on, what doesn’t and
what’s best left for special occasions. While the
online sex toy selection can be intimidating (and costly,
seeing as you can’t really return a toy you don’t
like) for a first-time sex toy shopper, you can easily go to
your local sex toy shop and ask for help. Don’t be
intimidated— the shop employees are literally there to
help you, so use them as a resource.
Once you find what sex toys (or lack thereof) work for
you, then you can focus on pleasing yourself without having
to worry about any sex-related issues or questions from your
nonexistent partner.
2. There's no pressure
Seriously, I don’t have to worry about having sex
with another person. I get it, sex is supposed to be this
magical bond between you and another person (or three). But
let’s face it, most people have some form of
sex-related anxiety.
While casual hookups used to be my thing, they’re
now just draining. I used to have to plan a one-night stand
seven business days in advance because I subconsciously felt
the need to wax my entire body and paint my face with
makeup, just to impress some guy who’s going to spend
thirty minutes struggling to find my clit anyway. Although I
generally feel more comfortable with my female suitors
because they know the struggle of getting ready for a date
(albeit a sex-date), it’s still tiresome to spend time
on getting to know a new sexual partner and their sexual
(and emotional) needs and desires, just so you can selfishly
get off.
Maybe I’m just getting old, but I know that I
don’t want or need the pressure of dealing with another
person in the bedroom (or on the kitchen counter) when
I’m single. Because I’m single, I still have the
option to have a one-night stand or find an FWB.
3. Sexting
Sexting is one of my most provocative past times. And
I’m not talking about the “sexting” where
that one frat boy snaps you asking for nudes at 3:01 a.m.
Honestly, just sexting is far more erotic than any nude,
porn or awkward five minutes of “bliss" to me. Unless
of course, the person you’re texting still hasn’t
figured out the difference between “you’re and
your,” in which case you need to drop that person ASAP,
because grammar is sexy AF.
I get it. I just spent six paragraphs in the last section
explaining why casual hookups aren’t my thing anymore,
so how on earth do I find people to sext?
Don’t worry, I don’t just type a random number
into my phone and start sexting away (but maybe that’s
why I’ve been single for the last three year). Instead,
I approach people who I already trust. Thankfully, I have a
couple former f**kbuddies who enjoy a good sexting sesh.
Granted, they’ve moved several hundreds of miles away
(probably to avoid me), so there’s minimal risk that
they’ll nag me about DTRing or hanging out. If you
don’t have a trusted former lover on the backburner,
see if one of your single friends would be interested in
some late-night sexting. After all, if you’re close
friends with them, then you should feel comfortable enough
to at least discuss this proposition.
Regardless, healthy sexting can help you learn more about
yourself and how you can satisfy yourself, both sexually and
emotionally. Yes, I said emotionally because sexting
isn’t just about virtually stripping each other’s
clothes off and getting into it. There’s still some
form of emotional connection attributed to the act. Not to
mention, regular sexting can help you develop your
vocabulary and become a more imaginative writer. Who knows,
maybe you could become the next E.L. James?
Whether you choose to sext, have a one-night stand or buy
every sex toy in your local sex shop, you shouldn’t
feel pressured into seeking a relationship to feel truly
sexually satisfied. After all, exploring the best way to
sexually satisfy your single-self is key to truly figure out
your sexual needs and being comfortable with your single
status. Otherwise, how are you going to expect someone else
to please you, when you’re still figuring out all your
kinks and quirks?
Source: www.hercampus.com/love/sex/i-m-more-sexually-satisfied-while-single-here-s-why
Dear Rest of the World, I'm
Perfectly Happy (Choosing) to Be Single
There are so many great things about being single. But by
the way our friends, family, government and Olive Garden
waitresses treat us, you'd think being single made you some
tragic donkey, hopelessly alone and destined to careen off a
cliff with no one around to hear your last heehaw.
Guess what? Some of us are single by design. Some of
us like it.
I'm not trying to be an ingrate -- I get that some people
are inquisitive about my relationship status because they
care and they want to see me happy. But what if I already am
happy? It's like crawling ashore after a shipwreck and
having someone smash one of those life-saver donuts over
your head. I'm OK, jackass!
Most people don't go out of their way to make you feel
bad when you're single -- they just make you feel bad by
being themselves. To a lot of people, being "normal" means
coupling off, sandbagging yourself against the onslaught of
existence by finding somebody to bitch to about your boss
and the line at Trader Joe's, somebody who also lets you
squeeze their breasts. But life has become this ridiculous
"single/not single" binary divide in which the uncoupled are
treated as incomplete, awaiting further instructions.
Maybe we don't want them.
Maybe I Don't Want Somebody Special
I know that most of these people mean well and aren't
trying to annoy me, yet it annoys me to no end to have
someone validate my singlehood ("Good for you!" -- What?) or
assume that finding someone is the most important thing to
me. (I also hope to read "Moby Dick" and "Ulysses" some
day!) The worst is being assured that one day, one glorious
day, I'll meet that Special Someone. Apparently, when you
become part of a couple, you're granted the powers of
clairvoyance -- "I just know it's going to happen for you!"
Well thank you, Cassandra!
What is with this "special" sh**, by the way? Everyone's
always telling me that I'm "special," and there's "someone
special" out there for me, and we'll find something
"special." I'd be happy with someone who was cool and funny
and likes reverse cowgirl, thank you very much. She doesn't
need to be able to play the ocarina while bare-backing atop
a galloping mule.
What's with the equestrian theme, you ask? I have no
idea!
Maybe I Don't Want Somebody, Period
Also, what if I don't want to be in a relationship? Why
must everyone eventually be in a relationship? The world is
trending toward later marriages, and fewer of them per
capita than there used to be. Ever stop to think that I'm
just ahead of my time? Or -- not even -- I'm just of my
time? You don't see me badgering you to have your fifth
child to help out around the farm, do you?
It's ridiculous that "being in a relationship" is the
barometer for a healthy adulthood. Isn't it enough that I'm
able to hold down a job (sorta), pay my rent (landlord: just
don't cash April's rent check just yet!), and I'm reasonably
happy? You know, most motorcycles don't come with sidecars
for a reason, people! I am a lone motorcyclist! If I want
sidecar attachment, I'll join the circus like a normal
person
Maybe I Like Drinking Being Alone
Listen, Otherwise Pleasant Gal Who's Waiting on Me, I
don't need the sad face when you clear the extra table
setting away. I'm just happy for the space to put my book
down. And yes, I realize it's not "normal" for a single
diner to order an entire bottle, but maybe I'm not into your
so-called normalcy. Bring on that $26 Malbec and, yes, I
would like to hear the specials. Haven't you heard? I'm
special myself!
And it's not just waitstaff; it's the goddamn government,
too! Yes, State of New York, I live alone! I'll be sure to
answer that question a half dozen more times on my tax
forms, and then again in the census forms you've been
sending me nonstop for three months. I LIVE ALONE. THERE IS
NO ONE ELSE LIVING HERE. YES, ALONE IS HOW I LIVE. IN THIS
APARTMENT WHERE I RESIDE, THERE IS ME AND ONLY ME. I AM A
SOLO RESIDER. IF I WERE A STAR WARS CHARACTER I WOULD BE HAN
SOLO -- UNTIL HE STARTS DATING LEIA, AT WHICH POINT I'LL BE
BOBA FETT, WHO MOST CERTAINLY LIVES ALONE.
Maybe I Don't Want to Make Your
Grandchildren/Nieces/Nephews
When I had a roommate, my dad took to telling me he'd
love me just as much if I were gay. I started wishing I were
gay so he'd stop with the promises and get down to the being
fine with me part. How about feeling good about me despite
the fact that no one stores an extra toothbrush at my
apartment?
My sisters alternate between quiet suspicion of my
protracted singlehood and asking if I've ever considered
online dating. This is when I tell them -- again -- that I'm
not interested in posting misleading photographs of myself
onto Match.com and "winking" at random women who may or may
not divest me of my spleen if we meet. (Not surprisingly, my
brothers-in-law seem to want me to stay single. This is
instructive! When I mention a date or a hook-up, they get
that psycho-married-dude look in their eyes -- "Hold on,
hold back up, just back up -- exactly how long was her
finger ...? Also, show me on your finger how far. Point to a
knuckle.")
Maybe I Don't Want to Round Out Your Dinner Party /
Wedding
Married friends try very hard to be self-aware and not
make you feel as if your sex life is somehow lesser than
theirs. Mine love to bring up a "great girl" who works in
the marketing department who'd be "perfect for you," but
never procure a number or email address because they realize
they don't want you dating her. (Partially because they
don't want you dating somebody they have to see every day,
but mostly because the last time they used the laptop at
your apartment, they couldn't type a single letter into the
search bar without four dozen porn sites springing up. Sue
me for not erasing my search history, married friends. I
live alone!)
And please, for the love of God, don't call or email me
to explain your policy on "plus-ones." I get it, I'm
perpetually alone and forever making the seating
arrangements impossible to figure out. ("Do we stick him
with the cousins? We can't put him with the Bernards and the
Felsteins -- he'll make the numbers odd, and there's no way
he's getting within nine tables of my sister.") Jesus,
please, spare me. I get it. In your world of "serious
commitments," I'm always going to be checking off the fish
entree and RSVPing for one. Can't wait to celebrate your
loving union, though.
Maybe I'm Alone, but I'm Not Lonely
Look, if I want to be set up with somebody, I'll ask to
be set up with somebody. If I want to Internet date, I will
steal some Wi-Fi and post that one photo of me (taken seven
years ago) in which I'm finally caught at a flattering angle
(and with a tan). If you deign me worthy of a plus-one,
despite my as-far-as-you're-concerned "unhealthy" love life,
I can decide for myself whether to bring a date or a hooker
or a cat in baby clothes. Or maybe I'll just save you the
$200-a-plate you assume will be wasted on a girl who will be
very sweet but ultimately unable to deal with my night
terrors, pot dependence and refusal to eat portabella
mushrooms and come alone. If I want to complain and be
morose about not having a girlfriend or a wife or an
adorable little mixed race baby to cart around, I will do
so. Vocally. Probably after that bottle of wine. Where are
you going, waitress, I'm talking to you!
You may assume single people are lonely and unhappy, but
if that's the case, why am I smiling and why is your tip so
big?
Because I'm happy. And single. And drunk. So there.
[Redacted] Guy is the resident Single Guy writer
for Lemondrop. As a teenager, he invented a brilliant new
grope called "The Short-Stop" (halfway between second and
third base) that made him more popular than DVR, chai and
Genesis combined. He sleeps diagonally in bed, because he
can.
You can send him hate mail and love letters here.
Source: www.lemondrop.com/2010/04/14/i-m-not-alone-i-m-single
Top 40 Best Places to Be
Single
Ever wonder why you can't get a date? You might not be to
blame--it could be your hometown.
To put together our first annual guide to the best places
for the single life, we looked at each of the most populous
40 metropolitan areas as defined by the U.S. Census.
(Although we're sure it's a great place to be single, we
weren't able to rank San Juan, the 20th biggest metro area,
because it was so difficult to collect good data on it. So
we replaced it with Raleigh-Durham.) We took a data-driven
approach, gathering stats on the number of other singles,
nightclubs, job growth and cost of living. After tallying up
all the figures and throwing in our own (lightly weighted),
subjective buzz factor--voilà: The Washington,
D.C.-Baltimore metroplex came out on top, thanks to the
area's multitude of museums, hordes of recent grads and
booming night life.
Being single means going out a lot--both to eat and to
drink--so we got our friends over at AOL Digital City to
count the number of nightclubs, bars and restaurants in each
metro area. But the solo life is about more than burgers and
hangovers. So Digital City and Montreal's McGill University
helped us add up the number of museums, sports teams,
university population and theaters (of the live actor
variety). Keep in mind, New Orleans and Austin, Tex.,
funksters--these rankings are based on quantity, not
quality, which is why your hip cities rank relatively low on
the social scale. That may prompt a sneer, but we needed a
standard measure.
Fun doesn't pay for itself, so the folks at Woods &
Poole Economics, headquartered in Washington, D.C.,
projected job growth for all 40 places over the next five
years. Economic researchers at Arlington, Va.-based ACCRA
gave us an estimate of how expensive it is to be single in
all of these spots--based on apartment rents, the cost of
pizza, movie tickets and a six-pack of Heineken. Last of
all, we added a Forbes buzz factor to account for public
perception. Sorry, Cincinnati.
1. Washington, D.C.-Baltimore
2. Miami
3. Chicago
4. Los Angeles
5. Atlanta
6. San Francisco-Oakland
7. Houston
8. New York
9. Dallas-Fort Worth
10. Philadelphia
11. San Diego
12. Denver-Boulder
13. Minneapolis-St. Paul
14. St. Louis
15. Austin
16. Boston
17. Seattle
18. New Orleans
19. Raleigh-Durham
20. Orlando
21. Phoenix
22. Columbus
23. Tampa
24. Milwaukee
25. San Antonio
26. Las Vegas
27. Detroit
28. Nashville
29. Norfolk
30. Sacramento
31. Portland
32. Charlotte
33. Indianapolis
34. Cleveland
35. Kansas City
36. Salt Lake City
37. Providence
38. Greensboro-Winston-Salem
39. Pittsburgh
40. Cincinnati
Sources: Davide Dukcevich, AOL Digital
City; ACCRA; Forbes; McGill University Planning Office;
Woods & Poole; U.S. Census
Top 10 Ways To Make Her
Approach You
For thousands of years, men have had to go out and find
their lovers. I have recently received a lot of e-mail from
men who proclaim, "why should we go after them?" Fair
enough. So you want her to come to you? Ask and you shall
receive -- here are the Top 10 ways to peak her interest and
make her pursue you.
10. Do not be too friendly So many men ask why
their female friends choose to remain only friends. Well, if
you discuss topics that friends discuss, then she will
classify you as a friend. Yes, relationships should blossom
into full-fledged partnerships, but this is not so at the
beginning. And if this isn't enough, she will tell you
sordid stories about all the other men she likes and is
pursuing. Act chummy and that is what you become -- a
chump.
9. Keep her guessing Women like mystery. Now, I'm
not implying that you should lie to them, nor am I saying
that you should play games, but you should leave something
hidden. Put your life story in a press release and send it
to her, and I guarantee that you will be flying solo for a
while.
Feed her a bit but always keep her curiosity growing, and
her interest in you will do the same. If a woman thinks she
has you figured out, she will get bored, but if she wishes
to determine what else lies between your two extremes (this
last word of wisdom comes from a special young woman, so
take her word for it), she will look forward to seeing you
again and again.
8. Do not make the first move I usually think that
in some situations, being straightforward is the only way to
go, but you know what? Relationships are, for the most part,
about games. And whether you wish to admit or deny it, you
must agree that the second you find out someone is
interested, your level of interest craters. It's almost like
having already added another notch to your belt. Except of
course, if this involves the one person that you feel you
were destined to meet, in which case you just keep on
smiling.
So show some interest -- this is the bait after all --
but keep your cards to your chest instead of slamming your
two-of-a-kind on the table. Who knows? You may end up with a
full house if you're patient.
7. Play hard to get This one is an extension of
the "do not make the first move" advice. The difference is
simple; even if she knows you are interested, do not throw
yourself at her disposal. If she knows that you would walk
over water and swallow fire to be with her, then she will
rain on your parade and pitch a lit match on your dreams, so
let her know that you have places to go and people to
see.
6. Be the best you can be No, do not join the
army, even though women like men in uniform. Rather, make
sure you smell good, have fresh breath, are well-groomed,
and look your best. Yes, some women do not care about looks,
especially when your bank account swells to the 7-digits.
But the same way that men demand their women be
good-looking, women demand and deserve the same. You have
been warned.
She has bitten the bait, now it's time to pull your fish
out of the water... Next >>
5. Smile It's very important to smile and present
yourself in a positive manner. More importantly, make her
laugh, make her friends crack up, and if you can, make her
parents smile. That way, you'll be laughing to the altar
(well, more like crying). Ask 9 out of 10 women, and they
will tell you the importance of a sense of humor, so leave
the Dylan McKay (from everyone's favorite zip code, Beverly
Hills, 90210) look at home and crack a smile.
4. Make her the center of your universe Okay,
before the Men's Liberation movement gets upset, allow me to
simply add this: make your woman think that all you like her
for is the BLT (no, we do not mean bacon, lettuce and
tomatoes), and she will not care to keep you around for
long. But please her mind by showing an interest (a genuine
one) in her family, friends, work, interests, hobbies, and
dreams, and she will fall for you. But make sure you let her
answer you instead of shooting off a session of 20
questions.
3. Live and let live You may like her and want her
to like you, but unless you give her space and do not crowd
her, she will never be interested. You know the expression
about absence making the heart grow fonder? Well, it's true.
So let her wonder where you are, whom you're with and where
you're going, and she will hope to cross paths with you more
often than you think.
2. Do not prejudge her This is key, even before
you get to the dating stage. Men (and women too) are bad in
one way: we meet a young woman we like and we attribute her
with the qualities and traits of our dream woman. Then we
wonder why we cannot do squat at work as we daydream of
her.
Then when push comes to shove, we realize that she is a
fraction of our image of her and that she is in fact nothing
like what we believed her to be. This said, have absolutely
no expectations of her character and she will not
disappoint; she may even want you to get to know her better,
at which point you can send me a thank-you note.
1. Manage her expectations Making her come to you
is the easy part, keeping her is the real challenge. When
you meet your dream woman, be honest with yourself and her:
do not portray yourself in a different light. Call it like
it is and you will avoid headaches and misery down the road.
Most importantly, she will see that you are being genuine,
sincere and honest, and she will therefore want you by her
side forever.
Source: By Shawn Croft, askmen.com/dating/dating_top_ten/16_dating_list.html
Top 10 Signs You're
Whipped
Your friends tell you that you're whipped, as do your
siblings. But somehow, you're still in denial. So allow me
to make it loud and clear; here are the Top 10 signs that
her nails are planted firmly in your back.
10. She does not stop trying to reach you You gave
her your phone number, now she calls you 5 times a day at
work; pages you until you get wet; spams your inbox; and
even tries to track you down at your folks' place. You can't
run, you can't hide... but once you begin to carry your cell
phone into the bathroom to avoid missing her call, the time
has come for your friends to intervene.
9. You're not the same person I know, people
change when they are committed, some for the better. It's
all about compromise after all, but then why is it that some
dudes turn into a chameleon and totally change? Well, once
you become a diluted version of your old self (i.e. you
phase out the beer and chips and replace it with wine and
cheese or you stop thinking with your penis), your buds know
that you're anwering to someone else.
8. You don't go out with the boys anymore Your
friends... remember them? Well, they remember you. The old
you, not the one who no longer speaks his mind, and answers
"how high?" when the ball and chain yells "jump!" You never
go out with your friends anymore and they hardly call you,
since they know the outcome.
7. You use terms that should be barred Terms like
"smoochie", "angel", "buddy", "muffin", "bunny", and
"pumpkin" suddenly sneak their way into your vocabulary.
Colleagues and friends look forward to making fun of you
when you use these words.
6. Your taste for the "arts" changes Whether
you're always listening to Sarah McLachlan or you're
suddenly passing up the R-rated movies for the CF ones
(Chick Flicks), your taste has begun its transformation
process. Before you know it, you start to replace Ozzy
concerts with trips to the opera
5. She has veto power Any matters pertaining to
scratching your head, going to see a movie, or buying
something for your bachelor pad require her approval. Don't
you miss the days when you could make a decision without
having to call the wife? All of a sudden, your opinion never
counts and you're nothing more than a messenger boy.
4. You have a curfew You used to come home at
sunrise, but now you must be tucked into bed by sunset. If
you do go out with the boys, your curfew is suddenly 5 hours
earlier and the 3rd degree awaits upon your return.
3. You're the houseman Your mom is impressed with
your sudden ability to wash dishes and do the laundry... and
your girlfriend's mom is even more pleased. You "volunteer"
to go lingerie shopping (and know the difference between
Wonderbra and Victoria's Secret), shoe shopping, make-up
shopping, and purse shopping with your girl.
2. Your girl friends are history Once upon a time,
you would stroll into bars with a harem of women and all the
ladies would ask, "who is that guy?" But now, you're
committed and the wife gives you the death stare whenever
one of your old lady friends calls.
1. You don't deliver the punchline -- you're the
joke Bye-bye humor. You used to crack jokes and make
everyone laugh. But with her around, you know that she will
either get up in the middle of whatever you say, or start to
walk away. But you aren't this lucky, you know that she will
simply sit there and mope, raining on your parade.
Source: By Shawn
Croft, askmen.com/dating/dating_top_ten/15_dating_list.html
Top 10 Signs It's Over
So many men (and women) ask me, "Shawn, here is my
situation... is it over?" Well, once and for all, let it be
clear that if you have experienced any of the following 10
scenarios, then it is a clear-cut sign that the fat lady has
sung and Elvis has left the building.
10. She got a new phone number "(out of service
dial tone) You have reached 555-O-V-E-R, the girl you are
trying to reach is making it painfully clear that things are
finished, so please stop calling before she releases the
hounds on you."
If she suddenly changes her number and never forwards you
the new one, then maybe, just maybe, she has moved on and
prefers leaving you where you are. And if she forwards you
to her voice mail after answering the call, then you should
take the sign and run.
9. She's chemically imbalanced She used to rave
about the chemistry that you two shared. But now, you are
out of sync and out of touch. It's like you are having
different conversations with one another. Restaurants are
devoid of chitchat, and dates are spent in movie theaters so
you don't have to speak to one another (unless it's to pass
the popcorn).
8. She now plays for the other team It's not your
fault... of course not. Regardless, she now plays in the
other team's lineup and has become your competition and you
didn't even see it coming. All of a sudden, she is checking
out the women more than the men. To make matters worse, you
could have lived out your fantasy before she left, had you
picked up on it earlier.
7. She moved... without telling you You show up at
her place only to realize that she no longer resides there.
Apparently, she moved and "forgot" to let you know where she
was going. Like the phone number example above, this is
probably one of the most blatant signs that you too should
move on. Do not stalk her and do not pursue her, set your
sights on new fish. If you lived with her and she moved out
without telling you, well...
6. Dawn of a new era Whether it's because she no
longer finds those annoying habits of yours cute, doesn't
care when you screw up, doesn't care about what you like, or
gives the flowers you bought to her mother, you know that
things have changed. And to top it all off, she religiously
begins going to the gym all of a sudden.
5. Your pictures disappear from her room In the
final days, you notice that your shrine has been losing some
luster; the picture frames in her room are gathering dust.
With time, you realize that the frames are gone and the
pictures have been put to rest. You are nothing but a
distant memory in her shoebox.
4. She prefers hanging out with others Although
you used to hang out, eat together and live as one, she now
opts to hang out with someone else. You have moved from
priority numero uno to a has-been. It may hurt, but it's
time to realize that your services are no longer
required.
3. She told you so If the girl explicitly tells
you that she no longer wants you, do not try to decipher it
any other way. It doesn't mean she's tired, hormonal or
unsure. If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck and
tastes like a duck...
2. She "forgot" your birthday Whether or not you
have forgotten her birthday in the past, this year she
forgot yours. Two things are possible: either you messed up
so bad in her eyes that she could not bring herself to
saying "happy birthday," or she is sending the loudest
message that she is now dancing to another tune, which
sounds more like "I Will Survive".
1. She has a new guy You notice that she
frequently talks about other men; she calls you "Tom" when
your name is "Joseph"; she starts referring to your best
friend "Mike" as "Big Mike". Bottom line: you know something
is up. The jig is over, she has found herself a new man and
his name doesn't rhyme with yours. Just consider yourself
lucky that you did not walk in and witness the new dashing
duo going at it (and you know what I mean by "it").
Source: By Shawn Croft, askmen.com/dating/dating_top_ten/13_dating_list.html
Top 10 Signs Your First Date Was A
Success
So you are finally lucky enough to land the date of your
dreams... excellent. You do everything by the book, and now
you're back at home. Did she have fun? Probably. Did you
make a fool of yourself? Highly likely. Will she call you
back? Possibly. Will you get another chance? Sure. So stop
worrying and just read the following 10 signs that your
first date was a success.
10. Never-ending evening You decide to walk her
all the way home even though she lives across town. Once
there, she suddenly does not need to be home. You then
decide that you want to have a cup of coffee (even though
you both hate caffeine). You chitchat over cake (that you do
not touch) until the wee hours of the morning only to circle
around town until sunrise. Too bad you've got to be at work
in 1 hour.
9. When can I see you again? She already decides
on the next place she wants to go to with you and wants to
plan the next date before the first one is over. A second
date booking during the first one is usually a sure sign
that she had too much fun for her own good.
8. Hook, line and sinker She's already memorized
your phone number, your family members' names and your
favorite everything. In fact, when you meet her roommate as
you walk her to her door, you overhear your date saying,
"You're going to be seeing a lot of him, so remember his
name." This is not so bad; just consider yourself lucky that
you don't wake up and find a wedding ring on your
finger.
7. Schmoopy... You finish each other's sentences.
When you toast, she utters, "To the first of many dates." To
top it all off, this does not make you nauseous... (give it
some time, it will). Once you get home, you decide to put
your little black book to rest (temporarily, of course).
6. Don't worry, be happy She laughs during most of
the date because you're hilarious; your sense of humor and
charm (not to mention rugged good looks -- yeah right) have
won her over. Ask any woman what they look for in a guy, and
a sense of humor usually comes out on top.
5. Let's get physical She lets her hair down, runs
her fingers through yours, hugs you before you part ways,
and even slips you the tongue.
4. She invites you over to her place If that kiss
wasn't enough, she resists letting your hand go and
devilishly invites you into her apartment for a drink. Being
the gentleman that you are, you want to refuse, but how
could you be rude and decline?
3. You have one new message When you get back to
your place, you find a message on your answering machine
from your date, saying how much she enjoyed herself and how
badly she is looking forward to the next sensuous
evening.
2. Envious friends You run into some of her
friends a couple of days later and while they are happy for
their friend, they all smile at you and wish you were
theirs. A sign that you enjoyed yourself too: you actually
don't want any of her friends and only think about your
date.
1. The Ultimate I personally would say that you
cook breakfast for her. The Player might add that you run
out of condoms and notice wrappers all around you when you
awake. Mr. Mafioso would interject that you wake up with her
serving you breakfast in bed (and she didn't even sleep
over). Any way you slice it, if she wakes up in your arms,
chances are that you will be begging for seconds...
Source: By Shawn Croft, askmen.com/dating/dating_top_ten/10_dating_list.html
Top 10 Date Movies
Upon a recent visit to the local Blockbuster, I noticed a
lot of great movies that took me back many years. This
journey brought about many flashbacks of the various
girlfriends that I have been with. As I was strolling
through the aisles, I noticed that "date" movies fall into 3
main categories: sweet movies for couples, black and white
classics, and finally, the more interesting movies to get
her -- you know -- in the mood.
In typical AskMen style, I have decided to break these up
and bring you the best of each category in installments.
Without further ado, I present to you the first one, which
consists of cheesy movies that are great for couples.
Various writers will be bringing you the best classics, as
well as the best movies to get her in the mood for some
"snuggling" -- obviously saving the best for last.
10. Ghost This film may have overkilled the whole
"ditto" appeal, but it was a nice, sweet, mushy-as-hell
movie. Perhaps Whoopi Goldberg at her best, Demi Moore at
her most innocent, and Patrick Swayze in an emotional and
compassionate role (at least one where he doesn't dance).
The many satirical takes on this movie are deserved (pottery
class anyone?), but so were the tears that flowed. This
movie will make you and your loved one(s) get close and
embrace one another as you realize how precious life is.
9. Sleepless in Seattle Meg Ryan, Tom Hanks...
moviegoers have learned that this is pretty much the formula
for a great date flick. Whether it was Tom Hanks' emotional
role, Meg Ryan's naiveté, or the maybe it was the
Seattle backdrop, whatever it is, Sleepless in Seattle will
probably make everyone's "top date movies" list. Rent it as
soon as you can.
8. Reality Bites While the movie does not help in
killing the "Generation X" stereotypes, it is a catchy and
interesting take on post-college life, and about how
different people's paths can easily cross. Ethan Hawke is
likeable and Winona Ryder is downright adorable. Chain
smokers unite in this movie. Another Ethan Hawke movie,
Before Sunrise, could have also made the cut. While less
popular, Sunrise describes the one-night journey of a couple
in Vienna.
7. Cocktail Tom Cruise has played so many roles in
so many movies, that picking only one is a challenge.
Ultimately, there is something about him ripping up a check
that girls find sexy and guys find cool. The fact that you
get to see a movie about late-night partying and big-league
bartending does not hurt. Oh yeah, a sexy female lead always
does the trick too.
6. Titanic It may be long, drawn-out and very
cheesy, but it definitely provides one of the best action
scenes, as a huge mock up of the ill-fated boat goes down. I
have seen this with three different girls, which suggests
how successful this movie was at the box office (what, you
think I change girlfriends as often as I change socks?).
Leonardo DiCaprio plays the hero, while we come to really
like Kate Winslet. This movie is also long enough to
increase your chances of getting "closer" throughout the
movie.
5. Swingers This is more of a lad movie than a
date movie, but it's just so damn good that you cannot
resist renting it. It would also be a great date movie
because it provides a glimpse into men, so women may not
find us so crazy after all. This movie was on at a party
once, so I was watching bits and pieces (the rest of the
time, I had my eyes on other things...), but I was so
curious to see the whole thing that I rented it at 4am, when
I got home.
4. Say Anything A classic date movie, somewhat
cheesy thanks to the geek meets girl storyline, but funny
nonetheless thanks to John Cusack. Somewhat utopian?
Perhaps, but with a great romantic climax, Say Anything is a
great classic and a good benchmark for what a great date
movie should be about. It will also inspire you and your
date to make "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel your song.
3. Pretty Woman What do you get when you cast
Julia Roberts as a naïve but daring prostitute, Richard
Gere as a successful but shrewd businessman, and Jason
Alexander as the evil business associate in a rather
unrealistic movie about a businessman who meets his trophy
gal on Hollywood Blvd. and tries to convert her into a good
girl while the business associate tries to... you know what,
this is not what's important. What's important is that in a
strange way, the female viewer wishes to be Julia and the
guy wishes he were Richard -- don't deny it.
2. Four Weddings and a Funeral Now, there is
something about this movie, starring Andie MacDowell and
Hugh Grant, that will make every couple love this classic.
We might, to this day, ask what the hell Mr. Grant was
thinking when he picked up some skanky prostitute (on the
topic of Pretty Woman) when he had British bombshell Liz
Hurley at home, but there is nothing we can reproach about
his performance in this movie.
1. There's Something About Mary This is perhaps
the only movie in the list where the guy will not want to
stop watching. Cameron Diaz is probably the ultimate
girlfriend, Ben Stiller is hilarious as ever, Chris Elliott
is scary, and Matt Dillon is downright creepy. One of the
best guy movies to come out, and a perfect date movie
because it broaches various topics that are bound to come up
(or stick up) down the road.
Source: By Shawn Croft, askmen.com/dating/dating_top_ten/12_dating_list.html
* * *
Contact
Us |
Disclaimer
| Privacy
Statement
Menstuff®
Directory
Menstuff® is a registered trademark of Gordon Clay
©1996-2023, Gordon Clay
|
