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Spicing Up The Missionary Position

Getting a woman to come to a strong and satisfying orgasm while in the missionary position is something many, MANY men are on an ongoing search to find out how to do. And since the average woman would like to be face to face with her lover when she comes, she too would like to know how to achieve this.

Many couples who have been together for a while think of the missionary position as boring, and, not that stimulating for the woman. Of all the positions, the missionary is the least popular, and the most unimaginative. But, it doesn’t have to be. And, on top of that (excuse the pun), from that position, it's virtually impossible for most women to come to orgasm because their clitoris isn't being stimulated. Nearly all of a woman's most sensitive nerves are on their clit, while the less sensitive ones are on their inner lips, near the opening. A woman can of course still come from the stimulation of her inner lips, but it wouldn’t be as strong as she would like it to be.

The following is for the very few women out there who can still have a satisfying orgasm with your penis inside her, where her clit isn’t being stimulated. Both can come to orgasm, while he is inside her. Most women would prefer to come to a strong orgasm while her lover is on top because she is face to face with him. She is able to hold her arms around him, while he does the same to her.

There are 5 ways to spice up the boring missionary position. Let’s start off with the first one.

ONE: Start off by gently taking the tip of your penis and rubbing her clit and the surrounding lips. (Use one of your hands to separate her lips, while you use the other to rub your penis on her clit.) Go in circular motions and ask her if she can feel it. Do it slowly and gently, then fast and rough. You can also rub your penis across her nipples. This is an arousing sight for some women.

Next, whisper in her ear: "Are you ready?" (One woman commented that her boyfriend would always ask first if he can go inside. This was very special for her, since most men don’t do this. So, ask first. Can I go inside? It is something that is very nice, AND DIFFERENT, for her.) If she is ready, begin to slide just the head of your penis in her. Now pull it back out, and then put it back in, just at the tip. Do this for about a minute or two.

Now go in about a half-inch deeper, and do the same thing as before. Take it out slowly and put it back in her. … In and out, in and out. Do this for another minute. The reasoning for this is to tease her to the point of having that strong desire.

Now put it in her all the way, kissing, gently biting and hugging her at the same time. Kissing and sucking her ears are one of the most important things to do to her. Suck on her ear lobes. Lick her whole ear. Imitate the sound of a snore and slightly make that sound in her ear, at the same time slightly letting your warm breath touch it.

Another thing that works wonders is humming in her ear. Let the vibrations from your mouth touch her ear as you are humming. Rubbing your cheek up against hers and rubbing your nose in her ear are other things that make a big difference.

And, always remember to tell her how good she feels. Also, tell her she smells absolutely fantastic. Whisper things like that in her ear. It’s little, insignificant things like that that matter the most.

When you are in her all the way, whisper in her ear if she wants you to stay where you are at, or to keep penetrating. Some women like for you to stay inside her, motionless, while she squeezes her vagina muscles around your penis, while there are others who want you to keep penetrating. When she has that orgasm, it will be like a fantastic explosion in her. She will have that feeling of total satisfaction. This is the whole purpose…to create this wonderful feeling for her. A feeling that she should feel every time you make love to her.

Many men just thrust in and out, in and out, in and out at a continuous pace. Liven it up by going slow for a about a minute or two, and then fast and hard. You should also stop thrusting. Kiss and caress her cheeks while you are motionless inside her. Then start back up again. Break up the monotony.

TWO: Another technique you can use to give the missionary position an extra zip is to have her raise her right leg until her knee is even with your left shoulder. (Hold it up for her, while kissing and licking it.) She should leave her left leg flat on the bed. Then direct your thrusts towards her inner thigh of her raised leg. By her doing this, it stretches her vagina a little bit, allowing for tighter penetration and more pressure on her clit. Keep in mind that this technique isn’t full proof with all women. Nevertheless, experiment with it. At least she knows you like to experiment in bed, which many women find appealing in men.

THREE: When our head is upside down, we feel a rush as blood pours in and oxygen is depleted. For some women, combining this with physical pleasure could heighten her orgasm. This does have an affect with some women. Try this with the next woman you are with (She will love all of this experimenting!): Have her lie on her back across the bed, with her head and shoulders dangling over the edge. Make sure she keeps as much of her lower back on the mattress as possible. And, of course, stop if she becomes too light-headed.

This angle you have her at shouldn’t be reserved just for the missionary position. You should also go down on her and / or use her vibrator on her. Experiment with her when she is at this angle.

FOUR: If you don't know about this little toy already, the perfect toy for this position is a small vibrator that is held to her clit by a thong strap that goes around her hip. She will get both the sensation from that and from your penis inside of her! They come small enough to where they won't get in your way while you are thrusting inside of her. Be sure to ask the salesperson that it is indeed small enough so it won't be in the way. Here are a few good vibrators: Click

FIVE: And lastly, you can still hit her clit while at the same time you are showing her that you have some imagination for the missionary position. Get high up on her so your hips are above hers, and then enter her at a downward angle, very, very slowly, making sure you rub down her clit when penetrating her.

And don’t forget the pillow under her butt. Jacking up her hips adds even more spice to this position. With all this information at your fingertips, you are now able to show her that this position can be one of the most popular. You both can now have fun at the same time, where she can also come to orgasm. These techniques are also perfect for the less-endowed men!

See Perry's other weekly columns on Dating or Relationships.

Perry Rose is a syndicated freelance writer for singles on sex, dating and relationships. He is also the author of, All About Men: Another Damn Book For Women About Men. & Women and Sex And Dating, For The Single Man published by Intimacy Books. From first getting dates from complete strangers, to finding that right person to be with, Intimacy Books has interviewed single men and women on what they like and want from one another. The findings were published in Women, Sex and Dating, for the Single Man. Their site is

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