Menstuff® has compiled the following information
about Parenal Alienation.
Parental Alienation is a form of Child
Dad Still Matters - Even When He's a Little Late to the Game
A story of intervention!
PAAO on YouTube!
Media: Contact Sarvy Emo, 416.840.5654 or E-Mail or www.parental-alienation-awareness.com/default.asp
Parental Alienation is a form of Child
Parental alienation and hostile aggressive parenting deprives children of their right to be loved by and showing love for both of their parents. These selfish, vindictive and malicious actions by the alienating parent (the parent who is responsible for the manipulations and brainwashing) is considered a form of child abuse - as the alienating tactics used on the children are disturbing, confusing and often frightening, and rob children of their sense of security and safety.
Most people do not know about Parental Alienation and Hostile Aggressive Parenting until they experience it. Parental Alienation Awareness Day is put forth to help raise awareness about this growing problem of mental and emotional child abuse seen mostly in cases of divorce or separation.
We need your help to protect the innocent, ...the children.
We need your help to educate and make aware to the public the effects of Parental Alienation and Hostile Aggressive Parenting.
If you've been effected by Parental Alienation or know someone who has, or are a past victim of a parent who exhibited Hostile Aggressive Parenting and Alienated from one parent, please write and tell us your story. We will add your story to our letters page for everyone around the world to publish in their local magazines, newspapers, etc. Please remember to keep your story to the telling of the loss, love, and heartache. Please refrain from excessive anger and verbally assaulting the alienator(s) in your letters.
The aim of the awareness day is to make the judges, police officers, phychiatrists, lawyers, as well as friends and family of the people abusing their children by HAP and alienation tactics to become aware of this growing problem and form of abuse.
With awareness comes education and understanding, and the power to stop the abuse of innocent children caught in the crossfire of people they love.
Parental Alienation and Hostile Aggressive Parenting Awareness day was started by a group of concerned people who either are victims of these issues, or became aware of them because people they care about are victims.
Because most people do not know about PA & HAP until they experience it, the idea of a Parental Alienation Awareness Day is put forth to help raise awareness about this growing problem of mental and emotional child abuse.
Our goal is to educate the general public, the schools, police, counselors, religious leaders, and more, about this growing problem. Our goal is education. We believe that with education comes understanding, and the will and power to stop the emotional and mental abuse of children.
We plan on accomplishing this by having professionals/experts speak on these issues on April 25th, by publishing articles, handing out flyers, and pamphlets, screening movies, and offering workshops wherever possible.
We are also collecting letters from people experiencing Parental Alienation and Hostile Aggressive Parenting. The goal of these letters is to show the public the turmoil that these children, and families go through. We encourage our letter writers to write with compassion and love, and as little anger as possible.
Parental Alienation Awareness Day - April 25th, 2010
To find out more about us, or if you would like to join in our
efforts, please contact Sarvy Emo at firstname.lastname@example.org.
To volunteer your help, email us at email@example.com
To get more information, email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
To suggest a link, email us at email@example.com
To submit an article, email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
Professionals and experts, email us at email us at email@example.com
Dad Still Matters - Even When He's a
Little Late to the Game
Jamal recently emailed me with his story of becoming a father overnight...
Its been eight years since my daughter has come into my life. I say come into, because I was not present when she was born. In fact, I didnt even know that I had a child. Let me explain. I dated my daughters mother the spring/summer of 2005 and the relationship ended in the fall of 2005. We did not speak or communicate for months after the break up. During this period of time, I decided to focus on improving my life, so I re-enrolled myself in college to complete my degree. I picked a temp-to hire position with a company with the hopes of working there full time after completing my education. I lived at home with my mother, made very little money, and the only responsibility I had was to myself.
The summer of 2006 rolls around and Im continuing to stay focused on my goals working during the day and going to school at night. One night, I saw a news report which mentioned my ex's name and connected her in some way to an abandoned baby. Feeling a sense of urgency to see if my ex was okay, I immediately called her and we spoke briefly. In my mind I started to count back the months that she and I had been intimate, and it had been almost exactly nine months. So I asked her if the abandoned baby was my child. I was told no, and to stay out of it.
I just knew I had to know the truth for me.
After hanging up the phone, you would think I would feel relief, but I did not. My heart was heavy and I could not shake the fact that this abandoned child could indeed be my child. Up to this day, I dont know what compelled me to investigate further to find the truth. I just knew I had to know the truth for me. I contacted detectives working the case and was given instructions to contact a local childrens organization to take a DNA test. The test was taken on July 17th. I waited for about a week for the results, and the wait seemed like an eternity. Finally the day had come. It was July 21st. I was at work sitting at my desk. An email appeared from childrens of youth organization, with subject line titled paternity test. I opened the email and it turned out I was the father.
My life had changed overnight. I was a father to a precious little girl.
In that moment I felt a whirlwind of feelings: anger, confusion, fear, happiness, excitement, anxiousness - probably ever emotion imaginable. My phone had been ringing off the hook but I could not speak to anyone. I cried at my desk and sat still. My life had changed overnight. I was a father to a precious little girl. Not too long after, I received a follow up call from the children's organization and they only had one question: Do you want custody of your daughter? Without hesitation, I said "Yes." After going through the process and a series of legal events, I was granted custody of my daughter and was given the right to name her. On that day of August 1st, I held my daughter for the first time. I knew then, that everything that I was had to change, and it was step up time for sure.
It has been 8 years now.
Its been 8 years now and we are still going strong. Being immersed in the joys and responsibility of fatherhood, I had not opened up publicly about my side of this experience. I now feel an obligation to come forward and talk about my experience with the hopes to inspire others, not just in the arena of parenting but in life to go for what you believe in, even when the odds are stacked against you. If my daughter ever gets a chance to read this, I want her to know that I never gave up on her and never will. I hope my belief in my daughter will inspire her to go forward and believe in her own self and dreams. Becoming a father has taught me so much about life and myself. My daughter has been a teacher to me as I am to her. While I am blessed and proud to be her father, I realize that the victory and glory is not mine, but Gods, as it was his divine plan in the beginning.
Becoming a father has taught meso much about life and myself.
While this situation isn't easy; sadly, it's not unique. Marriage is difficult. Parenting is difficult. Having a baby is a uniquely difficult time in the life of mom and dad. But, we must remember that it is vital to the baby, that both mom AND dad be involved before and after pregnancy. We know from research that a dad's involvement is vital to a child's well-being.
We at NFI spend a lot of our time creating tip cards, brochures, and pocket guides to help dads and moms understand these very facts - and as I read Jamal's story, I saw the pieces falling into place. There are so many benefits for everyone involved when mom helps to ensure dad is involved from the start:
Your child benefits from Dad's involvement the moment he or she is born and the benefits continue through adulthood.
Healthy Development: A child with an involved dad has been shown to do better on tests of emotional, social, and mental development. Involved dads have been shown to increase weight gain in preterm infants (preemies) and increase the change that mom will breastfeed.
Success in School: a child of an involved dad does better in school, on average, than a child who grows up without an involved dad. They're more likely to get A's, behave well, and less likely to drop out of school.
Good Physical Health: Involved dads who are active and have a healthy weight are more likely to have a child who is active and have a healthy weight which is vital to avoiding many diseases such as diabetes.
Good Behavior: a child with an involved dad is less likely to smoke, use drugs, become or get someone pregnant as a teen, or engage in violent and other risky behavior.
Well-Being and Success as an Adult: a child with an involved dad is more likely ot have higher self-esteem.
Mom benefits from dad's involvement from the moment mom becomes pregnant. Really!
Good pregnancy: when dad is involved in moms' pregnancy, mom is more likely to attend pre-natal visits. Mom is less likely to have health problems while pregnant, such as anemia and high blood pressure.
Less Stress for Her: an involved dad reduces moms' stress. It's easier to talk with an involved dad about ways to help reduce stress.
Better Family Finances: an involved dad is more likely to work harder and earn more money.
Better Marriage/Relationship: When both parents share the load of raising a child, it reduces the stress on both parents. Less stress leads to a better marriage and relationship.
Dad benefits from his involvement from the moment mom becomes pregnant. These benefits include some of the sames ones that mom receives, includingbetter family finances and a better marriage relationship.
Early Bonding With Child: When dad prepares to be a dad while mom is pregnant, he is better able to bond with his child and more likely to be involved as his child ages. Studies show that when dad is involved leading up to and during the birth of his child, his oxytocin or "bonding hormone" rises while his testosterone or "wandering hormone" declines.
Better Health and Well-Being for Him: An involved dad is more healthy emotionally and physically. He is more likely to go to the doctor when sick and for regular check-ups.
More Giving: Being a dad can help dad be more giving to family and the community. The involved dad is more likely to be social, volunteer, and spend time doing things like attending church and helping the community.
Success at Work: The involved dad's child is more likely to succeed, to advance, and advance more quickly in his or her career. The skills dad develops while raising a child is the same skill that helps him succeed at work.
Let Jamal's story encourage and remind you that everyone wins when
a child has an involved dad. Oh, and, it's never too late to start
A story of intervention!
I just got back from a business trip that took me through the Chicago O'Hare airport and wanted to share an experience I had there.
Two travel companions and I were having dinner at one of the resturaunts in the airport and I exused myself to use the washroom. On my way back I, (and a million other travelers) witnessed a young girl perhaps 13 Screaming and weeping at her father as he ripped her cell phone out of her hands. She was begging him, to please give back the phone "PLEASE Dad PLEASE, Its my Mom on the phone, I want to talk to my Mom! PLEASE" I watched in horror as she was tossed about while clinging to his hand where the cell phone was trapped. She continued to plead and cry as they walked down the terminal. I went to the restaurant where my companions were and sat down. I felt awful for the girl.
I starred at the people sitting at my table not hearing a word, at which point I got up and bolted out of the restaurant and chased after the family. when I finally caught up with the family the girl was still weeping. Her brother was stone faced and obviously in anguish over the event. I stopped the father and said I realize you daughter is having a difficult day and I am sorry. But no child should be prevented from talking to their parent. He looked like he was about to kill me and yelled at me asking who I thought I was, I told him I was just another father who knows what his children go through when they are prevented from speaking to their parents. He told me to get the #&*(^()# away or he would call security. I asked him one more time to reconsider preventing his children from communicating with there mother, and then let them pass.
The event had drawn the attention of a crowd and had created a scene of its own. If any of you know me this is so out of character for me but, found myself in one of those moments that I told myself I would have wanted someone to step in for my daughters had they seen this as well. I know I had little impact on that situation and that girl probably did not get to speak to her mom that day but now at least;
I went back to my companions shaking and wept for the daughter and my daughters and hoped that I made a difference.
Lets all try to over come our fear of confrontation and continue to raise awareness. (carry some brochures in your briefcase, I wish I had)
This is a story shared by Roger van Maris, director, PAAO, in his
PAAO on YouTube!
Source: Please go to www.paawareness.org/brochures.asp