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July
Tick Tock Goes the Love Clock
You wake up in the morning, still tired from
staying up too late the night before, and hit
snooze about seventeen times before stumbling into
the shower. By the time you start rinsing the
shampoo out of your stinging eyes you are already
thinking about everything you have to do today. You
put your makeup on in the car and get to work late
as usual in desperate need of a caffeine fix, do
errands at lunch, pick up your dry cleaning before
the store closes after what is most likely another
late day in the office, make time for tanning and
an hour at the gym, and get home to a house you
have to clean. Every day is almost the same, you
are busting your hump trying to get this and that
done while your list of errands keeps growing. And
thanks to living in an exponentially growing
population in an overpopulated city you spend an
obnoxious amount of time in the car giving you more
time to think about everything you still need to
do. By the time you get home each day, you clean a
little, shovel your special diet food that you
ordered online (who has time to actually shop in a
store and leisurely browse anymore?) which costs a
small fortune and tastes like chicken feed and
crawl into bed. Then you stay up late with your
mind like a maelstrom worrying about everything you
did not get accomplished. When does anyone have
time for a relationship?
People who live and work in the city without a
significant other or children are always on the go.
You might think that a single man or woman lives
the life of leisure: no obligations, no pressure,
just complete freedom. And I suppose that there are
plenty of single men and women who just stroll home
after work, order pizza and plant their tushes on
the couch to watch their usual prime time
television line up. But these are the people whose
tushes are the same size as the couch. Hey, no
ambition, no life. However, these days our lives
are getting busier and busier for most people.
There is so much for us to do every day. Even the
singlets of this world are screaming for more time.
I seriously wonder how people are able to raise
children today. I know I barely have time for
nookie at the end of the day.
Perhaps it is because many people living in the
city go through several stages of social behaviors
and desires in their lives. At first we are the
struggling young professionals straight out of
college, accepting a bottom of the food chain job
and struggling on a $20K salary. These were the
days of buying raman noodles in bulk and picking up
a bartending job in the evenings. You can't even
afford to date at this age. And if you could, when
would you have time? Finally you get a better
paying job and you move up in the business world.
But now you have entered a whole new social world.
You are financially able to drop the second job,
get some new digs without holes in the seams and
start enjoying the night scene with everyone else.
Swiftly you discover the beau monde and your life
is consumed with keeping up to date with all of the
latest trends, making sure you look perfect in
every way and of course making sure everyone thinks
you are the “it” guy or girl. How can you
possibly start a relationship now? He or she might
actually find out that your not fabulous. Besides,
it is much more hip to have a new fling every week.
This is the period of our lives where we are all
poseurs. After a few years of fun and reckless
behavior, you get promoted to a more prominent
position in the business world. Now you realize
your responsibility and you may even take it
seriously. Your life might change, but your busy
schedule does not. It just gets worse.
When you actually get involved in that serious
relationship, you must devote time to it. To do so,
you have to give up things that you don't
necessarily want to give up. I always believed that
we work so that we can have time. We buy time. We
work so that we are able to luxuriate in vacations
with our loved ones and so we can buy expensive
lingerie to keep the spark alive. But instead of
spending as much time as we can with our
sweethearts, we end up spending our time washing
the car, burning the flab in pilates class, picking
up the cat food and cursing the poor slob who broke
down in the middle of a one lane road during rush
hour. We are so greedy and obsessed with our
appearance and materialistic needs that we find it
difficult to give our own time, our most precious
commodity, to someone else. Then again, when we
daydream about the kind of future life we want, we
envision a life surrounded by family and friends, a
house in the burbs, a loving spouse and children
and spending the days at home being independantly
wealthy. We see ourselves doing what we really want
and need: spending time in the arms of our
darlings.
©2009, The Advice
Diva
* * *
Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today
as you were a year ago. - Bernard Berenson
Diva Rebecca
has a long and exciting history of when it comes to
love, dating and relationships. Friends and
associates would come to her for advice and
naturally she became the Advice Diva. Having a
socialite status in the big city she decided to put
her expertise down in writing. The Diva does not
claim to be an expert or have certifications in
this area. She explores her own thoughts and
feelings and uses her own opinions formed through
her own experiences. The
company Advice Through Experience was founded and
she wrote four successful e-books published on the
A.T.E. website aptly named www.AdviceDiva.com
They are
Getting Him
or Her Back,
The Divine
Secrets of the Dating Game,
What Women
Really Want and
For Women
Only: How to be Fabulous!
Diva Rebecca’s website is also
host to an online advice column. The column is
completely free and a fun tool for everyone. She
puts some of the posts online in an anonymous form.
The success of her online advice column has led to
the creation of monthly articles for a variety of
printed and online magazines. For questions and
comments contact The Advice Diva at
E-Mail.
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