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August
Beauty Divine
The quest for beauty, age defiance and physical
enhancement are at an all time high. The beauty
industry, comprised of simple salons to
mega-corporate giants, pulls in billions of dollars
annually. People are obsessed with making
themselves beautiful and more attractive for their
own personal satisfaction and so others can see
them they want to be seen. Not only do people
search for ways to enhance themselves, but they
also seek beauty and attraction in other things,
most notably a dating partner.
Some people might conclude that canvassing the
importance of beauty in the dating world is a bit
gratuitous. We all know its out there and it can
even be considered nature's cruelest form of sexual
selection. You either have it or you don't.
However, I think it is a poignant topic of
consideration whether you are just now entering the
dating realm or you have been in it for years and
whether you are male or female. Today's society
places heavy weight on good looks in the work place
and in social scenes. You can't escape it and you
can not deny it. Amidst growing liberties,
democracy, the abolition of racial and religious
oppression and the rising demand for an open mind
one would naturally assume that our advanced
culture would not treat certain individuals better
simply because of advantageous genetic facial
features. But we all know that this is the furthest
from the truth. We see it every day.
Doctor Nancy Etcoff, a faculty member of Harvard
University and a psychologist at Massachusetts
General Hospital, has beautifully illustrated the
ageless hunt for beauty in her book Survival of the
Prettiest. I was enthralled with the hundreds of
references throughout history Dr. Etcoff found and
adapted to the importance of beauty. One of the
most interesting ones involved Eleanor Roosevelt.
When asked if she had any regrets she remarked that
she only wished she had been prettier. To hear a
statement such as this coming from a heroine to
women everywhere, it makes one want to examine why
and how being beautiful or handsome plays such a
dubious role in our every day lives. As Dr. Etcoff
examines this very thought further in her book, I
think it would be best if we just accept our
idealistic qualities and move on to facing
them.
When it comes down to selecting new single men
and women we choose to date, our very first
assessment of the potential mate is based on looks.
Most people will say that they are looking for more
profound qualities such as character, motivation,
sensitivity, a commonality in activities, beliefs
and a sense of humor and that looks, although
important, are not at the top of the list. Of
course everyone wants to feel as if he or she had
more noble intents in mind. And although this may
be true, nature tends to sway our first choice.
Psychological tests upon tests show that we all
gravitate towards the more attractive person at
first. This is not something that we can readily
help, nor can we consider it malevolent behavior.
It is simply programmed into us from commercials,
magazine ads, celebrities and more. It is a learned
responsive behavior. While not everyone looks like
Naomi Campbell or Brad Pitt and there are only a
few genetic anomalies in this world who apparently
represent what we all should look like, we can all
take steps and measures to improve the way we look
and how we appear to others. It is the very first
rule in dating!
The first person you need to impress is
yourself. When you look good you feel good. Take
advantage of what modern science has created in the
field of beauty. From getting the basic proper
shampoo and conditioner for you hair to hair
regrowth products and surgery, from makeup to
enhance your features to elective surgery for more
dramatic effects. Your wardrobe should be a
priority issue as well. If you are still showing up
at the door to pick up your date in those same
ripped jeans you have had since the 1980's, think
about a complete wardrobe overhaul. Getting in
shape is an absolute must. Not only does it show
that you care about your body, it is essential for
your health and it will help you to feel great
physically and emotionally. The better you feel
about yourself, the more confident you will appear.
And confidence is a very sexy and appealing part of
your overall appearance.
In her book Dr. Etcoff assumes that people,
mostly men, are more attracted to beautiful people
for short term relationships while beauty is less
important when seeking a committed relationship.
However, it is that attractive quality of sex
appeal which will get you in the door. When you are
just getting to know people for dating purposes
such as with the use of online dating resources,
your appearance is going to be one of the most
compelling forces in attracting dates. Everyone
wants someone to fall in love with them for the
right reasons, but you can't change basic human
instinct and the natural affinity for beauty. You
don't have to be the most beautiful or most
handsome person in the room, but you can take the
time and effort to look the best you possibly
can.
©2009, The Advice
Diva
* * *
Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today
as you were a year ago. - Bernard Berenson
Diva Rebecca
has a long and exciting history of when it comes to
love, dating and relationships. Friends and
associates would come to her for advice and
naturally she became the Advice Diva. Having a
socialite status in the big city she decided to put
her expertise down in writing. The Diva does not
claim to be an expert or have certifications in
this area. She explores her own thoughts and
feelings and uses her own opinions formed through
her own experiences. The
company Advice Through Experience was founded and
she wrote four successful e-books published on the
A.T.E. website aptly named www.AdviceDiva.com
They are
Getting Him
or Her Back,
The Divine
Secrets of the Dating Game,
What Women
Really Want and
For Women
Only: How to be Fabulous!
Diva Rebecca’s website is also
host to an online advice column. The column is
completely free and a fun tool for everyone. She
puts some of the posts online in an anonymous form.
The success of her online advice column has led to
the creation of monthly articles for a variety of
printed and online magazines. For questions and
comments contact The Advice Diva at
E-Mail.
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