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December
The Independent Woman and the Metrosexual Man
A lot of people are starting to wonder why dating
in the big city has suddenly become such a
perplexing and complicated experience. And when,
exactly, did this happen? The dating scene has
always been a little troublesome for some people
and could even feel like more of a chore than what
should be a fun time. But lately the single jungle
of Houston and other large cities are changing and
evolving into more complex designs of mass
confusion. We seem to be moving faster and faster
into complete chaos rather than assimilating into
the well preserved roles that our mothers and
fathers laid out for us.
Gender roles are changing and this is the basic
concept that is generally holding many of us back
from entering successful relationships. More and
more people are remaining single for longer periods
of time. Part of this is because we are finding it
difficult to accept and understand the new gender
roles of our mates, even if we, ourselves, are
holding to those new standards.
The roles of women have gone through the most
dramatic changes. They have changed more in the
last two generations than in the last two
millenniums. Due to mass media, urbanization and
politics, women have achieved equality to men in
education and the workplace and everywhere else you
look. And thanks to the sexual revolution, we have
freed our minds. Women are now able to support
themselves and raise their own children without the
help of a man, thus escaping the traditional role
of “mother” and “wife”. Our new
found independence is something we fear giving
back. The independent woman does not want to be
controlled or told what to do. She will never again
be the docile little lamb once sought after for
marrying purposes.
This change in the lives of women in large
cities has led to a second major change, this one
in men. Men have moved from being the gruff, rugged
males to becoming “metrosexual” (a term
coined by gay journalist Mark Simpson). Men have
started to take over some of the duties that women
had always controlled. There are women working
alongside these men in the office. And thanks to
sexually homogenous advertising, the meterosexual
has been created. This new male breed has matching
ensembles for every occasion, never has a bad hair
day, loves manicures and smells like roses. He has
no problem shopping, attending the opera and buying
new shoes. The metrosexual is completely in touch
with his feminine side but there is just one thing:
he is straight.
Suddenly, the roles that we are used to having
our mates fill are no longer being filled. The
metrosexual is now asking why he has to pay for
every date, open doors and pick a woman up at her
door since the women are now so independent and
financially equal. Yet these men still secretly
yearn for that woman who will do the housework and
raise the children just like mom did. The
independent woman has become too afraid to give
back that independence she worked so hard for only
to begin relying more on a man than herself. Why
should she when the danger still lies of being
tossed aside one day? Yet, in her heart, she also
desires the manly man who will sweep her off of her
feet and take away all of her problems, just like
her daddy once did.
We have now entered what appears to be a never
ending cycle that can only be broken by trust. The
once praised nuclear family with the hard working
father and stay at home mother is slowly
dissipating. From now on, men and women will be
taking on more equal roles in relationships and
families. The question is: when will we become
comfortable enough to let it happen?
©2009, The Advice
Diva
* * *
Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today
as you were a year ago. - Bernard Berenson
Diva Rebecca
has a long and exciting history of when it comes to
love, dating and relationships. Friends and
associates would come to her for advice and
naturally she became the Advice Diva. Having a
socialite status in the big city she decided to put
her expertise down in writing. The Diva does not
claim to be an expert or have certifications in
this area. She explores her own thoughts and
feelings and uses her own opinions formed through
her own experiences. The
company Advice Through Experience was founded and
she wrote four successful e-books published on the
A.T.E. website aptly named www.AdviceDiva.com
They are
Getting Him
or Her Back,
The Divine
Secrets of the Dating Game,
What Women
Really Want and
For Women
Only: How to be Fabulous!
Diva Rebecca’s website is also
host to an online advice column. The column is
completely free and a fun tool for everyone. She
puts some of the posts online in an anonymous form.
The success of her online advice column has led to
the creation of monthly articles for a variety of
printed and online magazines. For questions and
comments contact The Advice Diva at
E-Mail.
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