Theories of Female Seduction

I have always been curious about the guides and manuals geared towards men about how to pick up women. Most of them always boast some exaggerated claims such as 'never be turned down again', 'sleep with a different woman every night', 'have women beg for your affections' and 'it doesn't matter if you are fat, bald, short or and broke'. Although I don't seriously see myself ever going head over heels for a short, fat bald man who leaches on me for money because he doesn't have two pennies to rub together, stranger things have happened. So I decided to investigate some of these seduction theories and groups for my own edification.

I recently purchased, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, by Neil Strauss, mostly because of its appearance. The book comes disguised as a bible with its black leather covering and gold trimmed pages and gold embossing. Clever. It is also over 450 pages and comes complete with a full glossary defining all of the “pick-up” terms used within the book which were created by the writer and his cohorts. To be honest, I thought this little book would be more of a gimmick filled with boring and needless details, but it really wasn't. The book was fascinating. It went through a lot of the steps that these successful pick-up artists would use on unsuspecting bombshells, successfully, and also revealed the sordid lives of his pick-up lair centered in Los Angeles addressing drugs, sex, parties, alcohol, you name it. It was truly fascinating and a little outrageous. When I read the part concerning one of the artists successfully picking up Paris Hilton I became a little concerned that the author may have been pulling a James Frey on me. Nevertheless, the story line was captivating and entertaining.

I skimmed through most of the book, only really interested in how these artists believe they could casually walk into a bar or meat market, identify a target, and have her come home with him within an hour. Could a guy do that with me? I seriously doubt it....but then again I am the kind of girl that always has to be in control of the situation. Still, I was impressed with the series of steps given for an easy pick-up. I have my own critique for each step. Her are just a few:

He Says: Smiling. Always smile when you enter a room because it tells people that you are happy, confident and a hell of a lot of fun to be with.

I Say: I couldn't agree more. When a guy walks into a room with no smile I either assume that he thinks he is too good for everyone else, almost as if he expects women to swoon to him just for looking so darn good (what girl would want to be with someone so high maintenance?) or that he has some serious social problems which need to be worked on, i.e. he is nervous, has low self esteem and is boring.

He Says: The Peacock Theory: Women are attracted to men who stand apart from everyone else. Where something bright and colorful, a conversation piece. Leave the boring old brown khakis at home.

I Say: True. It may sound silly but this is very true. You look like fun, you look like you are very confident, you know what you want.... I wouldn't suggest sporting a bright green mohawk, just try not to look boring. The author gives some good tips in this department.

He Says: After identifying the target, walk up to the group and have an opener to allow you to start talking to them. Ignore the target for a while and talk to everyone else in the group while making it seem to the target that you are the life of the party.

I say: With practice, you should be able to walk up to anyone and talk to them and to be able to engage the entire group in conversation which will make you look good. But if a guy is talking to everyone else but me I would instantly either smell a trap or assume that he is not interested in me. This would turn me against him right away and I would give him the cold shoulder for the rest of the evening. Fortunately for you pick-up wannabes, most younger women, women with low self esteem and/or low intellect and party-goers will fall right into this trap.

He says: Direct your attention towards the target and insult her gently with silly little negative comments always followed by a smile.

I say: Huh? I read some of the comments offered as suggestions and I don't think I would be so amused. But then again I am a born New Englander. If a guy insulted me in front of people you can better believe I will through a brutal insult in his direction and walk away (if I don't throw my drink in his face). If this strategy works, it works on women who do not think much of themselves. But for picking up women to “take home”, then I guess it suits its purpose.

He says: After entertaining the group for a while, isolate your target into a one on one situation and engage her in meaningless conversation designed to fascinate her. He tells of how to use magic tricks and little fascinating mind tricks to keep her enthralled. You would have to read this chapter to understand this in fine detail but you get the picture.

I say: This solidifies my theory that the only women these groups are picking up are either truly mindless or are looking to be picked up in the first place. I think if a guy used one of these little games on me to peek my interest I might laugh uncontrollably. However, the theory is correct about keeping someone's interest. His games were a little too prosaic for me, but I personally like to be with a guy who teaches me new things every day. The premise is the same....stimulation is needed.

He Says: The Cat and String Theory. If you dangle the string in front of the cat, it plays with the string wildly but if you just throw the string down, the cat will look at it and walk away. He uses this analogy to describe women. For example, if a woman hugs you and you hug back and then stay by her side touching her..she will back off. If she hugs you and then you walk away a little, she will be following you all night.

I say: For the most part this is true. A woman likes to feel in control. If you are cramping her space too much leaving her will little choice to make on her own, she will back off. But if you allow her to make the choice, she will feel more free, safe and secure and she will be the one chasing you. Correct.

Mr. Strauss goes into further detail about reading her signals, interpreting positive signals and successfully completing the deal. More chapters go into sealing the contract once back at your pad and how to seduce her into sex. It was an interesting read and I think most men and women would enjoy this informative book. It is as bold as it is entertaining. All seduction books, guides and manuals are meant for guys who just want to increase their sex score. In my opinion, the kind of women you will be hooking up with due to these methods, although potentially extremely hot, are not dating material. They are women who are in it for the moment. These books are not for someone looking for a relationship....they could do more harm than good.

©2010, The Advice Diva

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Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago. - Bernard Berenson

Diva Rebecca has a long and exciting history of when it comes to love, dating and relationships. Friends and associates would come to her for advice and naturally she became the Advice Diva. Having a socialite status in the big city she decided to put her expertise down in writing. The Diva does not claim to be an expert or have certifications in this area. She explores her own thoughts and feelings and uses her own opinions formed through her own experiences. The company Advice Through Experience was founded and she wrote four successful e-books published on the A.T.E. website aptly named They are Getting Him or Her Back, The Divine Secrets of the Dating Game, What Women Really Want and For Women Only: How to be Fabulous! Diva Rebecca’s website is also host to an online advice column. The column is completely free and a fun tool for everyone. She puts some of the posts online in an anonymous form. The success of her online advice column has led to the creation of monthly articles for a variety of printed and online magazines. For questions and comments contact The Advice Diva at E-Mail.

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