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Should the Female
Pursue the Male?
Here is a letter from a young reader and the Dr.
Molly's answer. Do you men agree?
"I have been sitting by
the phone waiting to hear from my guy? For awhile
he found the time to call me every day or even more
often, but now it seems like I am getting the cold
shoulder. What should I do? Should I call him?"
Anxiously waiting
Dear Anxiously
Awaiting:
No, do not touch that
phone! The man must choose to love you. If you do
anything to coerce a man to pay attention to you,
you have started a chain of events based on
artificial intimacy. He may go along for the ride,
be sexual with you and take what you offer, but he
will not have committed his heart. Over time, he
will drift away from you, and you will get that
awful gut rot feeling in the pit of your
stomach.
There is so much
sacrifice, cooperation and compromise in a long
term relationship. You will work harder for love
than for any job. But for a marriage or long term
partnership to last, you must have a willingness to
commit from both parties and that is something that
you cannot force. If he is creating distance, then
you must step back from the relationship. If he
fails to contact you, then you stop calling it a
relationship. Understand that you had an affair of
the heart that has ended.
Work hard on yourself and
get ready to move on to the next opportunity to
find true love. Time is wasting, if you are just
waiting for a phone to ring. A silent phone means
the desire was not long lasting. Be grateful you
felt loving feelings but do not try to make it work
just because you selfishly want someone. It must be
mutual or it can turn into an abusive, debilitating
relationship. And who needs that?
Listen to Dr. Molly's
radio show on www.blogtalkradio.com/drmollybarrow/2008/04/10/Communication-Body-Language-and-Finding-Truth-in-Your-Relationship
©2009, Molly
Barrow
* * *
Dr. Molly
Barrow holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is
the author of the new book, Matchlines:
A revolutionary New Way of looking at relationships
and making the right choices in
love. She is an
authority on relationship and psychological topics,
a member of the American Psychological Association
and a licensed mental health counselor. Dr. Molly
has appeared as an expert on NBC, PBS, KTLA, and in
O Magazine, Psychology Today, Newsday, MSN.com,
Match.com, Women's Health and Women's World. Please
visit: www.askdrmolly.com
or Take the new relationship compatibility test,
Match Lines Systems for Successful Relationships
for Singles, Couples and Business at
www.DrMollyBarrow.com.
Molly has a radio program, Your Relationship
Answers at www.blogtalkradio.com/drmollybarrow
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