Did You Lose Your Job

Losing a job is a very serious blow, especially for a man or the "breadwinner." When you tell your spouse that you have lost your job, he or she may feel like reacting with desperate panic. However, this is a time to consider the enormous pressure on a man more than the spouses own feelings. Many men have their self worth tied closely to their ability to work and they may be more depressed than they know. Some men can become so distraught about their job loss that they may even consider suicide.

If you are the spouse, even if you feel like screaming, let the poor guy have a few days to get things in perspective. Let your partner hear and know that as a team you will find a solution and that you love them jobless, as much as you did when they were employed. You may not really feel it right now but it is a gift that you can give when your loved one is vulnerable and feeling too fragile to go on. They are tattered and beaten up by what happen and you can throw them a lifeline. Trust that they will do their best to right the situation as soon as they can.

At first, when something bad happens, it is really hard to see a rainbow behind that dark cloud. Remember that one can always find a better job and a change is usually for the best. Besides, you can always yell in a few days when they are feeling better. If by then the situation has improved, perhaps you won't need to get upset at all.

©2009, Molly Barrow

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Dr. Molly Barrow holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is the author of the new book, Matchlines: A revolutionary New Way of looking at relationships and making the right choices in love. She is an authority on relationship and psychological topics, a member of the American Psychological Association and a licensed mental health counselor. Dr. Molly has appeared as an expert on NBC, PBS, KTLA, and in O Magazine, Psychology Today, Newsday,,, Women's Health and Women's World. Please visit: or Take the new relationship compatibility test, Match Lines Systems for Successful Relationships for Singles, Couples and Business at Molly has a radio program, Your Relationship Answers at

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