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Holiday Heart
Hurting
There is nothing like the holidays to remind you of
what you have lost. When true love leaves a scar on
your heart, the holidays have a way of ripping open
the wound and feelings seem to spill everywhere.
Suddenly, you are yelling at your secretary or
impatient with small children and pets. Any bounce
left in you disappears along with patience and
compassion. Your heart is aching and the pain is
overwhelming. Every Holiday song, television
commercial or film reminds you that you are lonely
and miserable. The spirit of giving is nowhere to
be found. Your instincts are to curl up in a ball
and wait out the holidays beginning in November,
especially the most treacherous of all, New Years
Eve. Here are a few ways to cope with the Holidays
and your hurting heart.
Stop Running. Stop.
Go somewhere alone and feel. You may be trying so
hard to avoid the old memories that you are
prolonging the pain. You may need a good cry and
presto, you feel good again.
Skip the Booze.
Alcohol is a depressant. Right now, you need to
feel better, not, worse. Pass on the cocktails and
take a forty-minute walk until you sweat. Your body
will feel relived.
Gather. Isolation
is good for a short time, especially, if you are
balling your eyes out. Then you need friends and
family around so you won't feel so alone. Avoid
isolating yourself just because you are bad
company.
Continue. You have
a right to love and think about anyone that you
want to. You never have to stop loving someone even
if he or she is dead or remarried. As long as you
are not bothering them, you can adore them forever.
Recover. This too
shall pass. People recover from terrible pain, but
it takes time. You will feel better gradually.
Imperceptibly, the bounce will return to your step
and your smile will brighten your face once more.
Love can come again and it will. Be kind to
yourself in the meantime.
©2009, Molly
Barrow
* * *
Dr. Molly
Barrow holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is
the author of the new book, Matchlines:
A revolutionary New Way of looking at relationships
and making the right choices in
love. She is an
authority on relationship and psychological topics,
a member of the American Psychological Association
and a licensed mental health counselor. Dr. Molly
has appeared as an expert on NBC, PBS, KTLA, and in
O Magazine, Psychology Today, Newsday, MSN.com,
Match.com, Women's Health and Women's World. Please
visit: www.askdrmolly.com
or Take the new relationship compatibility test,
Match Lines Systems for Successful Relationships
for Singles, Couples and Business at
www.DrMollyBarrow.com.
Molly has a radio program, Your Relationship
Answers at www.blogtalkradio.com/drmollybarrow
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