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What’s Your
Burka?
Do you ever think about the artificial limits that
individuals allow a society to put on them? Most
blacks in America would agree there is a ceiling, a
prejudice prism that blocks all but the color white
in many business and social arenas. Women in Muslim
countries suffer harshly from male dominance, and
are expected to wear head scarves in Turkey and
burkas in Afghanistan. Some women say, in front of
their husbands, that they prefer to wear a burka to
prevent ogling by men.
Sticks and stones may
break your bones, but stares will never hurt you.
Muffled hearing, restricted vision and poor
maneuverability from the heavy hot tents are not so
different than Japanese foot binding, Victorian
corsets or huge powdered wigs in London. Yearning
for the simplistic uniforms of Mao’s China
yet?
Let’s think about
this in more personal terms. How do you allow
others to dictate and design your short life on
Earth? How far do you go in your dress to be
considered good enough or deemed
“appropriate?” Do you curl your eyelashes
carefully and coat them with toxic tar? Do you
squeeze your hard working toes into pointed high
heels that cause bunions and back aches to grow? Do
you take a colored piece of material and tie it
intricately in a neck bulge like a turkey’s
wattle? Do you wear a wool blend jacket at work in
the heat of summer? Surely these behaviors appear
ridiculous and odd to all uncivilized
societies.
I understand why we brush
and floss our teeth after eating. Athletic shoes
are a great boon to our exercise program. But
society loves to dictate to others old left over
behaviors that are simply ridiculous.
For example, let’s
say a female writer must go out on an interview.
Many would agree the writer’s uniform consists
of pajama pants, a worn, soft, Pima cotton t-shirt,
flip flops and a sweatshirt. The process of
changing into a corporate person is lengthy and
uncomfortable. Starting at the bottom, we begin
with polished toenails hobbling in spiky heels,
constrictive nylons squeezing one’s blood flow
to a trickle, a panty-line-free thong (what the
hell!) and a skirt that requires one’s knees
to be glued together when bending, removing ones
carcass from a car or sitting in a deep chair. This
is an impossible task and eventually earns one the
reputation of a Sharon Stone Flasher.
My Goodness! We are only
dressed waist high. Continuing on, take the bra. It
is not comfortable and has been indicated in breast
cancer rumors. Desperately worried that our breasts
will not be considered pert enough if allowed to be
free, we bind them in elastic, micro fiber, and
plastic. A shirt is necessary to cover up what we
have just worked so hard to lift, wrap and present.
Now, hang metals, trinkets and rocks from your
neck, wrist, and fingers and through the punched
holes in your earlobes so that you can call
attention to each body part’s loveliness.
Next, don the jacket, just like the boys, so you
can sweat, too. Add shoulder pads to improve your
power statement.
Wait, you can not go out
with just your face. You must paint it first. Nine
layers of toxic chemicals will be sufficient:
moisturizer, base, powder, shadow, eyeliner, lip
liner, lipstick and gloss. Do not forget sun block.
Your hair has also been cut, colored, highlighted,
straightened (just in case you look too ethnic),
then sprayed and glossed. Are we ready, yet!!
A mist of perfume will
help to mask the sweat and toxic skin cell smell.
Sling a heavy cowhide sack on your shoulder,
carrying your survival equipment necessary for the
next two hours, and lift a briefcase with the other
hand. Oh, don't you look burkaed.
The elaborate and often
painful dress code of corporate America is archaic
and punishing for females and silly sweaty for
males. Would forest killing, cruel animal torturers
and just plain nasty people chill with a change of
wardrobe? Or too terrified that a member of the
Appropriate Behavior Club might find their casual
dress too sophomoric, do business persons conform
and join in with scorning the hippy-type rebels who
indulge in “business casual.”
Tomorrow morning you will
stand in the harsh light of your closet, faced with
sludging your way through the ritual of looking
“nice” once again? Or, perhaps, will your
heart rebel as you fantasize about escaping to
mountain tops, white sand beaches or a fishing boat
where you are free, free to wear cotton. Choose
bravely to be burkaless, if you can.
©2009, Molly
Barrow
* * *
Dr. Molly
Barrow holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is
the author of the new book, Matchlines:
A revolutionary New Way of looking at relationships
and making the right choices in
love. She is an
authority on relationship and psychological topics,
a member of the American Psychological Association
and a licensed mental health counselor. Dr. Molly
has appeared as an expert on NBC, PBS, KTLA, and in
O Magazine, Psychology Today, Newsday, MSN.com,
Match.com, Women's Health and Women's World. Please
visit: www.askdrmolly.com
or Take the new relationship compatibility test,
Match Lines Systems for Successful Relationships
for Singles, Couples and Business at
www.DrMollyBarrow.com.
Molly has a radio program, Your Relationship
Answers at www.blogtalkradio.com/drmollybarrow
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