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September
New name needed for dads
I wrote in my last post that the US Newswire press
services added the term "Mr Mom" in their article
to spice up their report in describing us. But it
actually did come from the US Census's actual press
release . I will send them a note and ask them to
rephrase that term. But before I do you may e-mail
at athomedad@aol.com me on what term you would like
to be described. I will let you know the results
when I get enough responses and let them know what
to use next time.
A member of the at-home dad message posted a
note that he was thumbing through the latest
Parents magazine and happened upon a book titled,
"How Tough Could It Be? by Sports Illustrated
writer Austin Murphy, the poster says "Mr. Murphy
took 6 months off from his job as a writer for SI
to be an AHD. Now, I don't want to rag on the book
before I read it, but I hope he makes a point about
a 6 month tour being a tad different than doing it
for years and years." A few minutes after I read
his post the mailman handed me a review copy of it
so I will let you know with a my thoughts on it
when I can get to it.
When the at-home dads stories first started
coming out big time in the mid-90's the mere fact
that a dad was the primary caregiver was a story in
itself. Now its being used more as a descriptor for
a dad. Heres one from the Orange County Register
titled "At-Home Dad Invents a Mean Screen Cleaner"
(the story will pop on for a few seconds long
enough to see the headline then it will switch to a
new window to subscribe). There's one sentence that
he has 6-year-old twins, but thats it. I think we
will see less and less of stories of a dad simply
because he stay home as each father's day media
crunch comes and goes.
Here's a stat I got from reporter, Virginia Linn
of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette "...and father-only
households (no wife or partner) increased to 4.3
million households by 2000." She got her
information from this press release issued by
American Academy of Pediatrics. In it, they gave
out the advice for Pediatricians to "Speak directly
to the father as well as the other parenting
partner, and solicit his opinions" In other words
don't forget dad is sitting right there while your
wife is getting all the lip service. I've heard a
few stories of dad at office visits where the
doctor never even acknowledged dad while he was
asking his wife all the questions.
(Note: the following paragraph is very boring
one about statistics, you may want to skip it
unless you are a researcher of accountant)
Back to the 4.3 million father-only households
(single fathers) raising their kids. The Pediatrics
press release notes the definition of a father as
"biological, foster or adoptive father; he may be a
stepfather, grandfather, teen father, father figure
or co parent father in a gay relationship." Lots of
gray area here. In searching for the definition of
Father-only households I checked the US Census
Households by Type report which estimated 4,201,824
"male householders" by 2004. I then interviewed
Karen Thomson of the US Census Household Division
this morning and she verified that all father-only
households have at least one child 17 or under in
the home. Here's the actual definition: Male
Householder no wife present: This category includes
households with male householders who are married
with at least one other relative in the household,
but with wife absent because of separation or other
reason where husband and wife maintain separate
residences; and male householders who are widowed,
divorced, or single with at least one other
relative in the household.
Thanks to a Peter B. McIntyre of the message
board who alerted me to at-home dad Ben McNeill of
Chapel Hill, NC. He has a stunning online journal
(blog) titled The Trixie Update . There are lots of
blogs out there with dads who talk about their
families with all the cute stories, but this one
takes an intensely objective tone. It's filled with
charts graphs and stats about his daughter's every
single movement (bowel or otherwise) that would put
the US Census to shame. As I write this his site
reports that the baby has been awake for 1 hour 31
minutes. has had 3 diaper changes the last one
being 12:06pm.which brings the total of diaper
changes to 1,965. (Ironically "1965 is the year
Procter & Gamble continued to introduce Pampers
nationwide. For a while, supermarkets, drug and
department stores are not sure how to classify this
brand new product or where to stock it. As a result
Pampers can unpredictably be found in the
convenience section, the food aisle, the paper
product section, and even in the drug section."
Source: The Trixie Update Here's an article about
him in his local paper
Funny humorous comment to note by Tim Goodman of
the San Francisco Chronicle who was making fun of
Howard Dean's possible TV talk show. "After much
discussing, the new Howard Dean talk show will be
called "Quick to Anger." He will explore the
challenges of remaining calm with a bevy of noted
hotheads. Geared toward the stay-at-home dad crowd
that has grown tired of soft talk shows like
"Ellen" and, frankly, are at their wits end with
the little snappers, "Quick to Anger" will
essentially be 60 minutes of venting." At least
someone out there knows we would like some
alternative network programming besides Oprah &
Dr Phil. The most popular daytime TV show that I
have heard the dads talk about at the last At-Home
Dad Convention is ESPN.
©2005, Peter
Baylies
* * *
It is easier to build strong children than to
repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass
Peter
Baylies is the Director, of the At-Home Dad Network
. The At-Home Dad Network is a loose-knit
grassroots organization for primary care dads who
want to start up or join any activity to help
connect at-home dads. Since 1994 we have connected
and promoted home-based fathers across the country
and around the world. It started in with a small
group of dads who wanted to be listed in the the
At-Home Dad Newsletter and grew into a network of
thousands of dads who started dozens of At-Home Dad
Network playgroups, e-mail list servs, media
contacts, conducted research, and the At-Home Dad
Convention. Subscribe to our free online At-Home
Dad Newsletter to be delivered to you via e-mail.
We also invite you to join the new At-Home Dad
Network online message board. where you can connect
with at-home dads next door and around the world.
If you would like to join either the At-Home Dad
Message board and or to receive the free online
newsletter and request to join or ask any questions
in joining or starting a playgroup or need any
resources. If you have any at-home dad news like
the one above, or opinions or events and you would
like me to check out and possibly share with the
readers, send it to Peter Baylies at
athomedad@aol.com
or www.athomedad.com
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