Why You Should Go to Her OB
Appointments
Dear MrDad: My pregnant wife has been bugging me to
go to all her doctor's appointments. I want to be
an involved dad but I can't see any real reason for
me to go to the doctor with her. Can't I just find
out what I need to know by reading books? Why
should I go?
A: Most guysunless they're
hypochondriacsdon't really look forward to
seeing a doctor. And seeing someone else's is even
farther down their list of fun ways to spend a few
hours. But going to your wife's medical
appointments is really important, for a number of
reasons.
First, it'll help you be a better dad once your
baby is born. Guys who get involved early on and
stay that way right to the end have been shown to
be as connected with their babies as their
expectant wives are.
Second, it's a great opportunity to ask a lot of
questions and to satisfy your curiosity about
exactly what's going on with your growing baby.
Sure, you'll be bored out of your mind some of the
time, and yes, you may be able to get some answered
by reading a few books, but being there will help
make you much more of a participant in the whole
thing and much less of a spectator.
Third, going to the OB will go a long way toward
demystifying the process and making it more real.
Hearing your baby's heartbeat for the first time
(in about the third month), and seeing his or her
tiny body squirm on an ultrasound screen (in about
the fifth month) are experiences that simply can't
be described. Words on a page just don't do the
trick; you just have to be there.
Fourth, as time goes on, your wife is going to
be getting increasingly dependent on you and she'll
need more tangible evidence that you love her and
that you're really going to be there for her. Going
to see her OB together isn't quite as romantic as a
candlelit dinner and dancing under the stars, but
it's still an ideal way to show her how committed
you are and to remind her that she's not going to
be alone.
And finally, the more appointments you go to,
the more seriously the OB and his or her staff will
take you and the more they'll support you in your
efforts to stay involved.
©2007, Armin Brott
* * *
It's clear that most American children suffer
too much mother and too little father. - Gloria
Steinem
A
nationally recognized parenting expert, Armin Brott
is the author of Blueprint
for Men's Health: A guide to a health
lifestyle,
The
Expectant Father: Facts, Tips, and Advice for
Dads-to-Be;
The
New Father: A Dad's Guide to the First
Year, A
Dad's Guide to the Toddler
Years, Throwaway
Dads, The
Single Father: A Dad's Guide to Parenting without a
Partner and Father for
Life. He has written on parenting and fatherhood
for the New York Times Magazine, The
Washington Post, Newsweek and dozens of
other periodicals. He also hosts Positive
Parenting, a nationally distributed, weekly
talk show, and lives with his family in Oakland,
California. Visit Armin at www.mrdad.com
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