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50 More Reasons We're Glad to be Men
51. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your
feet.
52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
EVER.
53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you
walk into the room.
54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
55. You don't clean your apartment if the meter
reader is coming by.
56. You think the 'Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition'
are hilarious.
57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
58. You don't give a hoot if someone notices your
new haircut.
59. You can watch a game in silence with your buddy
for hours without even thinking "He must be mad at
me."
60. If something mechanical doesn't work, you can
bash it with a hammer and throw it across the
room.
61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to
mean your lover is about to leave you.
62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
63. Did I mention "Sports Center"?
64. One mood, all the time.
65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving
yourself to look like him.
66. You never have to drive to another gas station
because this one's just "too yukky looking."
67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer
bottle.
68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter
what you are wearing.
69. Same work.... More pay.
70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
71. You know what Jackson Browne's "Redneck Friend"
is.
72. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
73. You don't care if someone is talking about you
behind your back.
74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could
double the Earth's population in 15 tries, at least
in theory.
75. You don't mooch off others' desserts.
76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
77. The remote is yours and yours alone.
78. People never glance at your chest when you're
talking to them.
79. Did I mention "Baywatch?"
80. You can drop by to see a friend without
bringing a little gift.
81. Bachelor parties kick butt over bridal
showers.
82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with
your mother.
83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper
imagining you naked.
84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to
go to the bathroom.
85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you
will, he won't tell your friends that you've
"changed."
86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy
phrase " ---- it!"
88. If another guy shows up at a party in the same
outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
89. The occasional well-rendered belch is
practically expected.
90. You don't miss a sexual opportunity because
you're not in the mood.
91. Your last name stays put.
92. You understand the lyrics in all the Loudon
Wainwright III songs.
93. You don't have to leave the room to make an
emergency crotch adjustment.
94. The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. Enough
said.
95. Even an old beat-up lawn mower reminds you of
your 66 Pontiac GTO.
96. You know what Prince's "Little Red Corvette"
is.
97. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you
blind.
98. You can get into a non-trivial pissing
contest.
99. You can appreciate a 600-watt car stereo; you
don't have to turn it all the way up, right?
100. There is always a game on somewhere!!
© 2007, Kenneth F.
Byers
Other Transition Issues,
Books
* * *
A permanent state of transition is man's most
noble condition. - Juan Ramon Jimenez
Ken Byers
holds a Ph.D. in psychology with an emphasis in
Men's Studies, one of the few ever awarded in the
U.S. Ken is a full time Certified Professional Life
Coach specializing in working with men in any form
of transition and an instructor of design at San
Francisco State University.
His books, "Man
In Transition" and
"Who
Was That Masked man
Anyway" are widely
acknowledged as primers for men seeking deeper
knowledge of creating awareness and understanding
of the masculine way. More information on Ken, his
work and/or subscription information to the weekly
"Spirit Coach" newsletter which deals with elements
of the human spirit in short commentary, check the
box at www.etropolis.com/coachken/
or www.etropolis.com/coachken/what.htm
or www.etropolis.com/coachken/speak.htm
or E-Mail
You are welcome to share any of Ken's columns with
anyone without fee from or to him but please credit
to the author. Ken can be reached at:
415.239.6929.
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