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Passion
"To hold the same views at forty as we held
at twenty is to have been stupefied for a score of
years, and take rank, not as a prophet, but as an
unteachable brat, well birched and none the wiser."
--Robert Louis Stevenson
As you know, one of my coaching specialties is
working with men who are in transition of one form
or another. One of the more common concerns my
clients bring to the table early on is that of the
idea of passion. Often it comes in a question like
"why don't I feel the passion for my work that I
used to?" We have talked in earlier editions about
passion, what it is and how to refire it, and a lot
of my work with both men and women is built around
that effort. Generally I attack the problem by
looking at the possibility that passion is not some
kind of energy we have toward a specific thing or a
way of presenting ourselves, it is a way of being.
If we are passionate about who we are rather than
what we do, everything in our lives will have a bit
of that energy about it.
Recently, I've noticed the subject coming up
more and more often with men approaching or in
their fifties, particularly with friends and
clients who are business owners or who have been in
jobs with substantial longevity. They have lost
what Sam Keene refers to as "the fire in the belly"
and they miss it. As a result of this opportunity
to work with older men I've come to some new ideas
on the subject.
I think what often happens is that there is a
natural transition of energy in which the fire does
not go out, it just changes form. Let's use the
analogy of the bar-b-que fire as an example. When
the fire is first lit it engulfs itself in flame in
order to fully realize its potential. Then it
quickly flames out and with time the heat is
generated more evenly and intensely from within the
whole of the charcoal bed, each individual brick
adding to the mass of heat. If we drop our chosen
delicacy on the fire just after lighting it cooks
slowly and inefficiently. But if we wait until the
fire gains depth and richness we usually get the
results we want. In our aggressive youth we are
willing to be rare and unfinished and often even
invite it. Our passion for accomplishment is so
great that we see it as merely a price we are
willing to pay and often that attitude results in
great rewards. But having little to start with, we
have little to loose.
As we get older, however, we are often unwilling
to pay the price that the young spirit thinks
nothing of. It is not illogical that this should
happen. We have invested many years and much effort
to attain whatever lifestyle we have. To endanger
or even challenge it is not only an unattractive
idea it is probably foolish at best. But there is a
still a lot of energy in the dream no matter the
age. Often, I think, we confuse that natural older
conservatism with a loss of passion. Really,
however, it isn't that at all. It's just that we
see the world in a different light.
The chances are great that if you ever had
passion in your life about anything, you still have
it, it's just lying dormant. The trick is to
understand that passion is not something we do but
rather a way that we live. It is the life force
that lets us see the grand values around us in
people, animals, nature, our relationships and our
work. It might not look or feel as it did twenty
years ago but then neither do you. Don't waste your
time planting grapes when the aged wine is sitting
there waiting for you.
Thirty years of front-line experience have
helped Dr. Ken Byers develop a profound system of
professional coaching for business,
entrepreneurship and individual life passion
identification. Known worldwide for his approach to
the issues of men's lives, his program of
"Essential Self-Management Technology" crosses all
gender barriers and helps businesses, groups and
individuals identify, define and actually achieve
their personal Visions with clarity and sustainable
success energy.
My Vision: "To Live and Share A Life of Material
and Spiritual Freedom." What's yours?
EVERYMAN - A Men's Journal (bi-monthly) A really
terrific magazine published in Canada but
representative of men everywhere. www.everyman.org/trans
© 2007, Kenneth F.
Byers
Other Transition Issues,
Books
* * *
A permanent state of transition is man's most
noble condition. - Juan Ramon Jimenez
Ken Byers
holds a Ph.D. in psychology with an emphasis in
Men's Studies, one of the few ever awarded in the
U.S. Ken is a full time Certified Professional Life
Coach specializing in working with men in any form
of transition and an instructor of design at San
Francisco State University.
His books, "Man
In Transition" and
"Who
Was That Masked man
Anyway" are widely
acknowledged as primers for men seeking deeper
knowledge of creating awareness and understanding
of the masculine way. More information on Ken, his
work and/or subscription information to the weekly
"Spirit Coach" newsletter which deals with elements
of the human spirit in short commentary, check the
box at www.etropolis.com/coachken/
or www.etropolis.com/coachken/what.htm
or www.etropolis.com/coachken/speak.htm
or E-Mail
You are welcome to share any of Ken's columns with
anyone without fee from or to him but please credit
to the author. Ken can be reached at:
415.239.6929.
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