|
June
Things that go 'Oink' Pop Chops
Pork, you can’t go wrong with pork. You can
serve it for dinner and hopefully, you will also be
serving her some form of it like bacon the next
morning! If you are going to have an evening of
dinner and a video, choose the video correctly if
you are to cook something from here. To make it
taste better, get ‘Animal Farm.’ Whatever
you do, don’t get ‘Charlotte’s
Web’ or ‘Babe.’ Pork is naturally
salty and someone once told me it was because pigs
don’t sweat. Whatever, because of that natural
saltiness, you do not have to add much salt to it
if a recipe calls for it.
Description
This will be a cool BBQ type dish for the chops
without the grill. You will want to be sure that
your date takes a few bites before you let her know
what you put in it. Not that there is anything bad,
but the combination of stuff just seems weird.
These things take about an hour to cook so be cool
and plan ahead. Have her show up about ½ hour
into the cooking so you can make the small talk
about her dress, her hair, her breasts etc.
Ingredients
1. 6 chops that are about ½” thick.
Normal chop width and all will do
2. 1 cup of Pepsi (Regular)
3. 1 cup of Ketchup (it doesn’t have to be any
really fancy brand)
4. 1 Tbsp of minced garlic (the stuff that is
precut and comes in a jar rocks)
5. 4 Tbsp of brown sugar
6. 2 Tsp of Tabasco
Directions
Turn the oven to bake at 350°. While the
oven heats up, get a Pyrex dish and put the chops
in the bottom. Do not put them on top of each other
otherwise this will mess with the cooking. Whip out
a bowl, put the rest of the ingredients in it and
mix them together. You can drink the rest of the
Pepsi. Once the saucy stuff is done, pour it over
the chops and pray that it goes at least halfway up
the chops. By this time, the oven should be set so
check it.
Slide the chops and all into the oven and give
it about an hour. As the meal cooks, straighten the
house out a bit. Toss all of your clothes under
your bed, sweep stuff under the rug, be sure all
toilet seats are down and be sure the empty beer
cans are gone. After about 20 minutes, check the
chops and flip them over. By this time, your date
should arrive and you will have that half hour to
engage in the small talk. 15 minutes later, check
the chops and maybe turn them over again. After the
hour, pull them out and cut one in half to see that
it is done. Pork is one meat you don’t want
pink!
Serving
The chops are going to be tangy and spicy so get
something cool to compliment them like coleslaw or
something. Place two chops on each plate and ladle
a little of the sauce over them. Bring it on out
and wait for your date to sample a bit. If she
claims to be a vegetarian, load her chops on your
plate and scoop your coleslaw on hers and start
eating. If she digs in, wait till her eyes light up
and she tells you how good they are before you tell
her Pepsi is one of the ingredients.
©2008, by Ron
DesMarais
Related Books
Ron
DesMarais started life in Charlottesville, VA and
has lived in several parts of the United States.
When people hear the number of times he has moved,
the question invariably arises as to whether or not
he was an ‘Army Brat.’ There is only a
half-truth there and that is found by dropping
‘Army’; unless, you consider ‘Army
of Darkness.’ After moving with his parents
for several years, Ron continued his nomadic ways,
which were spurred by his mother’s finding out
where he currently lived. In the process of
changing dwellings and never getting rental
deposits back (which he claims were never his
fault), Ron’s financial status required that
he start cooking for himself, as he could not
afford eating out. This resulted in his quickly
getting bored with Top Ramen and deciding to get
creative in the kitchen. Soon, a list of recipes
with a limited number of inexpensive ingredients
started coming together. What really bolstered the
creation of his book Cavemen
in the Kitchen, and the
writing of it as not just a cookbook but a
‘dating aid’ as well was when Ron ended
up at a date’s house after a financially
draining evening out. As both were hungry but Ron
too broke and both too tired to go out somewhere,
Ron dug through her cabinets, found some items to
work with and based on a recipe he had created
earlier, he created a meal for both. She loved it
and the results of the meal were amazing in ways
those under 18 should not hear about. From that
point, dates for Ron consisted of cooking dinner,
either at his house or the date’s house, and
afterwards, either watching a video or doing
something else. Click here
to order a copy of the book (Contains adult
content.)
Contact
Us |
Disclaimer
| Privacy
Statement
Menstuff®
Directory
Menstuff® is a registered trademark of Gordon
Clay
©1996-2023, Gordon Clay
|
