'Challenging The Monkey' – Part 2

Three and a half hours later I emerged from behind the pile of library books, having found out that one contained a list of remedies that would apparently be useful. Over 1000 remedies (flower essences) to be precise. To a novice dowser this was something of a nightmare! Eventually I narrowed it down to two remedies. One to be taken the next day, the second “Rescue Remedy”, to be taken two days later. I couldn’t exactly work out the meaning of the first remedy at the time, but the second seemed to be for shock.

A day after taking the first remedy the pain escalated. Two days after taking it, the pain and the lump disappeared. I was in shock. I could have done with an IV drip for Rescue Remedy. The hoarseness gradually improved and cleared up within a few weeks. I returned to my landscaping questioning whether I was meant to be doing something with this experience.

People started coming to me for advice on their well-being. I wasn’t advertising – this was just through friends and family who had known about my throat. Within 6 months Winnie and I had helped over 90 people and I had started writing my first book “The Truth about Illness,Unhappiness & Stress?” I sat down at the computer with no idea what I was about to write and yet the words just flowed out. Winnie would read each section and ask jokingly “who’s writing this?” She decided she would take on the task of editing my stream of consciousness.

We soon decided to throw caution to the wind. I chucked in the landscaping, we sold up our house and threw ourselves into, well, just being together as a family. We would help anyone who came to us (but we would never advertise). Oh, and just to challenge the monkey beyond all reason, we were also guided not to charge anyone for one-to-one work.

That was, for me, the hardest one to get my head round.

I mean, there we were living in the expensive South East, with two young children and with only about £15,000 in the world to live on (about 12 months living expenses). What our respective families and close friends thought of us we could not imagine. But in a way it didn’t matter – we knew we had to go for it. Every time I read anything about “creating your own reality” I felt like I knew it already to be my truth. And yet we couldn’t really find anyone outside of communities such as Findhorn actually doing it.

And that’s how we began. People, mainly women, started to see me regularly. I was plunged very quickly into the world of serious illness by various wonderful ‘teachers’; cancer sufferers who came to me to looking for guidance. In a very short space of time I found myself sharing ideas and stories which seemed to help inspire these women to achieve greater peace and happiness.

What had started as a little bit of healing and remedy work soon turned totally into a process of listening and guiding through my intuition. From cancer I found myself working with relationship, financial, emotional and all manner of health issues. And soon the partners and friends of these women started to come. And as my work with men increased, so I found myself hearing the same story time and again from men torn apart by the demands of the work-place and family.

I soon found myself writing about men. I wrote about time, success, meditation, sex, work, addiction, the news and even death. I wanted to get any men who would listen and who were not entirely happy with life into challenging their own inherited belief systems. I wanted to share stories that would help them to realise that they were not alone in their struggle. After a couple of years I found myself with a manuscript. Now what?

Old record company monkey wanted me to get it ‘out there’ immediately. My inner wise old man rejected this proposal out of hand. “Wait. Trust. Be patient. Help will come”.

Well I was getting fed up with waiting. Trouble was I also knew that this guidance was worth trusting. We had been operating for 4 years by this time without charging and although donations had been minimal, somehow the money had come in to support us without ever leaving us wanting.

So I waited. One day a member of my men’s group told me about a workshop in London to be given by an Australian called Steve Biddulph. He was a successful author and leader in the worldwide men’s movement. Although I had never gone to a workshop in my life or read any of his books, I felt drawn to attending. And so I booked a place…

The workshop was crammed with about 70 men and women. At the morning interval Steve came over to our group and asked where we were from. When we answered “Forest Row” he told us he was coming over to England with his family for a year in the near future to write a book with his wife and he was going to be living in…… Forest Row.

But it got better than that. During the afternoon break I asked Steve where exactly he was going to be moving to. The answer? Next door but one to my house. One of the leaders in the worldwide men’s movement was moving halfway across the world to land on my doorstep. There are times when you know you are right in the zone…

©2008, Barry Durdant-Hollamby

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Barry Durdant-Hollamby is the founder of The Art of Change , a UK based organisation specialising in helping individuals and corporations to effect sustainable, holistic, positive change. He works intuitively on a 1-1 or group basis and also conducts many talks and seminars - all without notes or preparation! Barry is also the author of three books the latest of which is The Male Agenda - a book which seeks to inspire men to create greater life balance and happiness. He is the father of two daughters and lives in the South East of England. Contact E-Mail

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