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April
What is Success?
It is a man’s instinct, passed down through
generations, to gain the trophies and prey that
society considers of value. Our male ancestors
would come back from their outings with the very
things that they and their dependents needed at
that time. This may have been food or wood or
animal skins for clothing. They were guided by the
their needs of the moment and not derailed by
thoughts of what they might need at some distant
point in the future. Their success was measured in
the moment.
Today, success and recognition are usually
measured in financial terms. Of course there are
plenty of people who are successful who do not have
large sums of money, but for most men in our
consumer-orientated society, acquiring material
wealth is a guaranteed way of being viewed as
successful, of achieving recognition. Money has
therefore become a completely acceptable and worthy
prey to hunt. For many of us it is the only worthy
prey today.
It is no surprise then that we have found
ourselves going out on a daily basis, hunting
something that we can never entirely capture, that
could escape from us at any time in the future
without warning, and which by itself offers no form
of sustenance or physical gratification.
Man’s success today is often seen in the
size of his mortgage, the cars he can run, the
private schools in which he can educate his
children, the clothes he can buy, the golf club he
belongs to. The material list is endless.
Wouldn’t it be good if his success were viewed
in terms of his own feelings of happiness and
fulfilment in addition to these material gains?
There is nothing wrong with wealth and power.
Great things can be achieved with them; great
enjoyment can be had as a result of having them.
But I question whether they can benefit us fully if
we have sacrificed our happiness, health or peace
of mind to get them. We need to look for balance
between material wealth and mental and physical
well-being – they do not need to be mutually
exclusive.
We strive for success, but why? What are we
going to do with it if we ever feel we’ve got
it? Ask yourself that question before you set off
on the next rung of the career ladder? What are you
doing? Something you really want to, or something
that you feel you have to or should? Why are you
doing it? Because it brings you great satisfaction
at both a mental/emotional and physical/material
level, or purely because it pays the bills? Who are
you doing it all for? You or everybody else? And if
you really want to help everybody else, is it not
possible that you might do this best by becoming
clearer yourself in what your definition of success
really is?
©2009, Barry Durdant-Hollamby
See Books,
Issues
Barry
Durdant-Hollamby is the founder of The
Art of
Change
 ,
a UK based organisation specialising in helping
individuals and corporations to effect sustainable,
holistic, positive change. He works intuitively on
a 1-1 or group basis and also conducts many talks
and seminars - all without notes or preparation!
Barry is also the author of three books the latest
of which is The
Male Agenda - a book
which seeks to inspire men to create greater life
balance and happiness. He is the father of two
daughters and lives in the South East of England.
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