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A Father’s Gratitude
Fatherhood has a way of pulling you in and
engulfing you in a sea of activities and emotions
that you didn’t expect. It doesn’t often
lend itself to quiet reflection about what it means
to be a father. But as I look back on the fathering
I’ve done so far, I’m struck by the
changes that my children have helped to create in
me.
Changes that will last forever.
And if I reflect on it further, I am overwhelmed
with gratitude for their assistance on this path of
change.
When your child is born, it’s a moment in
which you have no other needs. Your children are
born perfectly, and they provide all that you could
ever want. Because they’re perfect, they call
on you to meet that perfection. It’s the
beginning of a journey to become a part of a bigger
plan, one that’s much bigger than you are. And
to meet this perfection, you’re forced to face
the demons that are a part of your life.
For many fathers, there is no pain greater than
falling short of the expectations of your children.
It’s a reminder that these demons still exist,
and that they’re passed on to our children if
we don’t face them. My children remind me of
my demons often, and for that I am thankful. For I
can be blind to my own issues, and there is no
greater incentive to improve than knowing that what
isn’t healed in me will show up in my children
as well.
I’m thankful for what my children have
taught me about my parents. They’ve allowed me
to understand my parents better and to honor them
for all that they did. I have an appreciation for
decisions made by my parents that I didn’t
agree with at the time. I now know these decisions
as acts of love. And I feel an increased desire to
return the love and kindness that my parents showed
me.
My children have helped me to increase my hatred
for war and conflict. They’ve helped me to
know the importance of teaching my son that the
model of manhood based on showing power over others
is outdated and destructive. And they’ve
sharpened my eye for what’s worth fighting for
in this world.
I want to thank my children for showing me the
power and beauty of innocent, pure love. The kind
of love that can take fathers outside of their own
importance and into the life of another of
God’s creations. The kind of love that is
devoid of selfish interests and wishes.
Within the deep love that I have for my
children, I’ve found some responsibilities and
hardships. But mostly, I’ve found freedom.
I’ve found the freedom to love others
unconditionally. I’ve found the freedom to
look at the world through different eyes. And
I’ve found the freedom to expand my capacity
to experience both joy and pain. Through all of it,
I’ve had the freedom to experience a love for
my kids that words don’t adequately
describe.
It’s easy to get stuck on how much we do
for our kids.
Let’s not forget that this is a path that
goes both ways
© 2008 Mark
Brandenburg
Other Father Issues,
Books,
Resources
* * *
To this day I can remember my father's
voice, singing over me in the stillness of the
night. - Carl G. Jung
Mark has
a Masters degree in counseling psychology and has
been a counselor, business consultant, sports
counselor, and a certified life and business coach.
He has worked with individuals, teams, and
businesses to improve their performance for over 20
years. Prior to life and business coaching Mark was
a world-ranked professional tennis player and has
coached other world-ranked athletes. He has helped
hundreds of individuals to implement his coaching
techniques. Mark specializes in coaching men to
balance their lives and to improve the important
relationships in their lives. He is the author of
the popular e-books, 25
Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent
Fathers
 ,
and Fix
Your Wife in 30 Days or Less (And Improve Yourself
at the Same Time
).
Mark is also the publisher of the “Dads
Don’t Fix your Kids” ezine for fathers.
To sign up, go to www.markbrandenburg.com
or E-Mail
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