A Father's Love
As a personal coach for men and the publisher of a
newsletter, Im sometimes blessed with
personal stories from readers that touch my heart.
This story sent in from a father helped me to
remember why Im doing what I do. Id
like to share it with you:
As a father of two teens, Ive
enjoyed your insight on fatherhood. I was raised in
a loving family environment, but just as you
indicated, my father was the primary breadwinner
and the "backbone" of the family, not an emotional
type. As a child, I never saw him cry or appear
weak, nor did he ever utter the words "I love you".
It was just not in his vocabulary, though I never
doubted his love for any of us.
It was not until his last hours on this earth,
nearly 9 years ago, that I saw him cry for the
first time. Suffering from the side effects of
leukemia, I was visiting him in his hospital room.
As I sat on the side of his bed feeding him ice
chips and jello cubes by spoon, it occurred to me
that we had reversed roles. He was no longer caring
for my needs, but I was there to help him with his
We talked about things that wed
never discussed previously, and as I was preparing
to return home to my family for the night, I turned
to him and said "I love you." He smiled and nodded
his approval as I exited his room for the last
Unfortunately, hed been experiencing
internal bleeding, though he never complained or
mentioned it to me, and he expired some three hours
after I left.
I feel fortunate to have spent those last hours
with him and that I could express my love to him,
though I felt out of character in doing it. I only
wish that it had occurred years earlier.
As a father myself, Ive broken the male
mold. I freely express my love not only for my wife
but for each of my children. Rarely does a day pass
that I dont talk with my kids, always
ending the conversation with an "I love you".
Ill be the first to admit that life
is not always a bed of roses, and that developing
strong family ties requires patience and
perseverance. But Im incredibly proud of the
family relationships that weve
developed and nurtured in our children.
Millions of todays fathers grew up with
fathers who were unable to express their love
directly. And yet so many of these fathers have
been able to express their love to their own
children in a more direct fashion.
Theyve done it because they know the pain
of not receiving that direct love. They know how
absolutely vital their expression of love and
acceptance is for their kids. And theyve
moved past the discomfort of expressing their love
for their kids so their kids may thrive.
This is an acknowledgement to the courage of all
the fathers that have broken the
If our world is to change, it wont be
without a lot more molds being broken. Have you
broken yours yet?
© 2007 Mark
Other Father Issues,
* * *
To this day I can remember my father's
voice, singing over me in the stillness of the
night. - Carl G. Jung
a Masters degree in counseling psychology and has
been a counselor, business consultant, sports
counselor, and a certified life and business coach.
He has worked with individuals, teams, and
businesses to improve their performance for over 20
years. Prior to life and business coaching Mark was
a world-ranked professional tennis player and has
coached other world-ranked athletes. He has helped
hundreds of individuals to implement his coaching
techniques. Mark specializes in coaching men to
balance their lives and to improve the important
relationships in their lives. He is the author of
the popular e-books, 25
Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent
Your Wife in 30 Days or Less (And Improve Yourself
at the Same Time
Mark is also the publisher of the Dads
Dont Fix your Kids ezine for fathers.
To sign up, go to www.markbrandenburg.com
Menstuff® is a registered trademark of Gordon
©1996-2017, Gordon Clay