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May
The HHBrotherhood: A Complete Lack of Elegance
Being the founder of the Hard Hat Brotherhood I
have had the pleasure of observing what I refer to
as “Guy Behavior”. In other words, I get
to see first hand the actions and attitudes when
guys get together. Not “men” mind you but
specifically “guys”, which by way of
definition means when the veneer of a politically
correct man is removed and the true guy spirit
within is revealed. For example, the word
“man” equals a three-piece suit and tie
on an individual that can be taken to a social
engagement with minimal supervision. A
“guy” is that exact same individual who
is now hogging the remote control and eating cold
pizza in his underwear. No one said that
“guy-dom” was pretty; functional maybe,
but not necessarily pretty.
Recently an article in a Chicago newspaper
featured an interesting quote about the Hard Hat
Brotherhood that I thought to be profound. In the
article the woman basically stated that there was
an ever-growing group of men known as The Hard Hat
Brotherhood and that they “lacked
elegance”. When I read that statement I paused
for a moment and thought to myself, “well duh,
what did ya expect?” The profound part, which
I found humorous, was the fact that the lady being
interviewed had just finished singing to the
columnist “I’m a Little Tea Pot”.
Now is that a case of the teapot calling the hard
hat inelegant? Anyway, I loved the comment that we
lack elegance, in fact I believe that guys in
general love showing this very type of behavior.
Why else would we do things that are deemed
socially unacceptable to women? We have
elegance...of a sort. Do we not wear clean jockey
shorts to all our HHBrotherhood events? Do we not
proudly sport our neon colored hard hats for all to
see? Are we not the ones who extol the virtues of
hanging out with those of our own kind in the
spirit of true guystuffness? I ask you, is that not
elegance?
Maybe the appearance of inelegance is because
there are so many inelegant ways that guys can
present themselves. For example, did you ever see
how a guy repairs things? There are two key
components that are in every guy’s toolbox
without fail. These are duct tape and more duct
tape. We have a Crew in New Haven, Michigan called
Tools of the Trade. Foreman David Smith informed me
that their motto is “When Only The Right Tool
Will Do” and proudly displayed right smack in
the middle of their Crew logo is a big roll of duct
tape. Guys have found duct tape to be the great
equalizer of all men as far as fixing anything at
any time. Case in point; not too long ago one of my
home toilet seats cracked leaving the potential for
a nasty pinch if extra precautions were not taken.
The solution – after cleaning the wounded area
with the proper solvent, a vigorous quantity of #5
grade grey duct tape was applied. This was not only
to prevent the afore mentioned nasty pinch but also
to keep the broken area from further damage due to
constant use. Problem solved.
Another example of male inelegance would be how
guys act around their wives and girlfriends. We
would love to think of ourselves as dashing James
Bond types just oozing class and debonair
qualities. Unfortunately the only oozing that may
occur is a direct result of the double meat and
bean chili we had for lunch. Guys can’t help
it.
If we are out at some gathering and the game of
the week just happens to be going on at the same
time, what are we supposed to do? The solution is a
set of mini headphones and a portable radio. As
long as you are not discovered everybody is happy.
I am sure if the Pastor at my wedding had found me
out he would have given me the big thumbs up. He
had twenty bucks riding on U of M too.
After reflecting on my own guy behavior I have
concluded that the overall number of examples that
can be considered as inelegant are incalculable.
Yet even if most are deemed not “proper”
in social circles one in particular does merit an
honorable mention.
I believe that “zoning out” when in a
long-winded conversation with your significant
other is perfectly acceptable and should not be
considered as a lack of elegance. For those who are
not familiar with this term, and you know who you
are, zoning out is the semi-meditative state a guy
puts himself in when the afore mentioned
long-winded conversation with said significant
other reaches a point that: A) it no longer
contains any content that has significant relevance
to him, B) you suddenly find that your naval lint
is more interesting or C) you did not want to
participate in this conversation in the first
place. “Zoning” as guys call it, should
be considered a self defense mechanism and the key
reason many relationships last longer. The point at
which zoning can be considered a lack of elegance
is when your significant other catches you and now
realizes that you haven’t been listening to a
word she has said for the past fifteen minutes. For
this reason one should show some signs of restraint
in exactly how deep one actually zones out.
Ultimately, it is not that we as guys are trying
to denounce all proper behavior, rather I feel that
how we as men act around each other is what brings
us closer together. The ability to be ourselves,
regardless of the social norms usually observed is
what makes a HHBrotherhood event a time of
relaxation and fun. It is those shared moments when
the stresses of every day life are not so pressing
that we can feel the tension slip away. At this
point we are reveling in our complete, inelegant
guyness and loving every minute of it! Of course,
it is also right about this time that the double
beef and bean chili kicks in and the true
inelegance begins. But then, we are guys, it’s
what we do.
©2007, Andy Smith
* * *
Source:
Andy Smith, HHBrotherhood Central, 8449 Parkridge
Drive, Dexter, MI 48130, or 734.846.2283 or
www.hardhatbrotherhood.com
or headhardhat@hardhatbrotherhood.com
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