|
June
Guys Having Fun With Guys Without It Getting –
Weird
Being part of a growing men’s organization I
am constantly doing research on different
men’s issues. Interestingly enough I found
many new facts by reading the articles on the
MenStuff.org website. One particular area it
discusses is the topic of how and why it is good
for guys to belong to a club. It is a fact that it
can be down right unhealthy not to go out and
interact with others on a regular basis. The
problem is that many guys are not comfortable
making new friends, especially if they are of their
own kind. This paradox can be frustrating because
we find ourselves trapped between having to get out
of our comfy recliners and being stressed out over
the possibly of not being accepted in a new circle
of acquaintances.
I have observed that there is an almost phobic
feeling for a guy when presented with the challenge
of making new male friends. Before the Hard Hat
Brotherhood I had an incredibly difficult time
getting myself to meet and communicate with others.
Part of my apprehension was because I was a bit of
a recluse and preferred a solitary lifestyle to one
where I actually had to talk to another human. It
was much easier to sit in my comfy chair and just
watch the game. Another reason was the fact that I
hated the idea of rejection especially from another
guy. Heaven forbid I didn’t measure up to the
standards of someone else. Too short, too fat, too
geeky, not geeky enough, wrong class, wrong job,
wrong clothes, hair parted the wrong way, wears
glasses, loves seafood, hates spinach. My gosh, who
knows what all could be wrong with me and I will
never be accepted anyway so where the heck is my
remote? Yeah, much safer here where I understand
all the ins and outs of what is going on.
It is pretty plain to see that guys can have a
hard time busting out of their shell and improving
their lives. Now compound that with the fact that
guys do not want their interactions with other
males to get, you know, weird. Ever see the
situation where a new guy in the group is at a
sports event and the home team has just won by one
point in the absolute last two seconds of the game?
The men erupt hooting and cheering as they jump up
and down patting each other on the back and even
giving each other congratulatory hugs. Then somehow
the same hug that a second ago was a completely
natural expression of happiness suddenly becomes
– weird. A knee jerk reaction ensues and they
actually turn in opposite directions as if to say,
“Never saw that guy before in my life”.
The fear of being labeled is the leading reason why
they don’t want to put themselves in that
situation in the first place. It is a vicious cycle
that takes courage and a leap of faith to
overcome.
The thing to remember is that it can be done.
Men, when given enough encouragement or become
desperate enough will take the chance and join a
group, club or organization like The Hard Hat
Brotherhood. Recently I attended one of our many
Crew events. This is where a bunch of our guys get
together to do some “guy stuff”. We all
met at a local expo center to visit this
year’s Outdoorama; a virtual smorgasbord of
hunting, fishing and camping demonstrations. As we
started gathering at the main entrance I personally
was excited to meet one of our newest members. He
had just joined a week or so before and was part of
our Nomad Crew. Nomads are individual members that
cannot join established Crews due to travel or some
other thing that keeps them on the move. This being
the case that meant that he was coming to meet all
of us for the first time, alone. I realized how
courageous an act that was and when he walked up to
all of us and introduced himself I made sure that
mine was the first hand he shook. This helps me to
overcome my own latent fears. Practice makes
perfect.
One of the ways to overcome the fear of meeting
new people is to remember that you are only new
once. After that, you are one step closer to being
another part of the establishment. The approach to
meeting new people is also important. This is where
the old “fake it until you make it” credo
comes in handy. If you look confident and like you
are glad to be there, then it comes across that
way. Even if you don’t necessarily feel that
way, you can still put that image forward. The
irony is that when you act that way you do start to
feel that way. So then the question becomes how
exactly do you act that way?
The two things that anyone will notice first
when they meet you are your voice and whether or
not you make eye contact. Since both are part of
the introduction process of meeting anyone, those
are your best places to start. It is really pretty
simple. When you meet someone for the first time,
make eye contact, say hello and introduce yourself
with a solid, confident voice. That is all there is
to it. Now you are off to a good start and the rest
should be easier. And if you don’t do stellar
at these things right off just remember this; to
the best of my knowledge no one has ever actually
died of embarrassment. As my wife always says, try
not to take life too seriously, your never gonna
get out of it alive!
So what does this all mean? Are men doomed to a
possibly shortened life because we don’t take
the time to go out once or twice a month and
commune with fellow men? Could be, there is another
fact on the MenStuff website which mentions that
the average woman has six close woman friends of
which to talk to about personal issues. The average
man has only one and it is usually not even a man
but rather his wife. We know that there can
definitely be a health benefit if we go out and
interact with other guys. So it comes down to us
acknowledging our fears, taking a chance and
actually joining a club that you can feel
comfortable with. It is worth it. Do yourself a
favor and get out of that nice comfy chair; you
will be glad you did.
©2007, Andy Smith
* * *
Source:
Andy Smith, HHBrotherhood Central, 8449 Parkridge
Drive, Dexter, MI 48130, or 734.846.2283 or
www.hardhatbrotherhood.com
or headhardhat@hardhatbrotherhood.com
Contact
Us |
Disclaimer
| Privacy
Statement
Menstuff®
Directory
Menstuff® is a registered trademark of Gordon
Clay
©1996-2023, Gordon Clay
|
