Why is Having Sex Too Early Bad?
Dear Dennis:
The girls that give sex up front are getting all
the guys, but they don't seem to keep them for
long. Guys view them as a fuck buddy type thing but
not for a real relationship. The women who wait a
bit to give out sex live most of their lives
lonely, but end up marrying the guy at the very
end, but are alone and depressed most of their
lives.
Is there any way to strike a balance here?
Hello!
Where did you get the idea that girls that go
for sex early on don't keep guys? In my experience
and according to my own research, it's the girls
that try to hold out too long that lose guys.
If you're find this is happening to you and your
friends, it's because you're not getting
investments back from your sex partners. You're
doing dumb things like "hanging out" together
rather than dating; and probably doing 1001 other
bad-idea things along the way.
The balance comes in first realizing that sex is
its own benefit as well as a connection between you
and a partner. It's based on that connection (and
notice I didn't say "relationship") that this comes
about. The relationship comes later on, but there
has to be some foundation for having sex if you
want more than just the sex itself.
Best regards
© 2009, Dr. Dennis W.
Neder
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Relationship is a pervading and changing
mystery...brutal or lovely, the mystery waits for
people wherever they go, whatever extreme they run
to. - Euroda Welty
Dr. Dennis W.
Neder is the author of Being
a Man in a Woman's World
I and Being
a Man in a Woman's World
II. Have a love, dating,
relationship, sex or man/woman question? You can
write to him by going to: beingaman.com/ask_question.asp
for answers. Check out the discussion group at:
groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman
.
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