a Man


How (and Who) Do Professional Women Date?

Hello Doc,

For professional women (doctors, lawyers, CEOs etc) can you please tell me what is the best type of man that you've seen from your experience for these women to date or marry?

For instance, when us ladies are out on the prowl for a nice gentleman what are some qualities to look for?

Also, during married life, let's say both husband and wife are surgeons working 100 hours a week. YIKES!!! My heart surgeon friends (who are married to each other) said they didn't have sex for 3 months once because they didn't really see each other when they were on call. YIKES!!!! (They definitely made up for it though. big grin. but still that's pretty scary)

What are some ways to keep the romance alive when you have two crazy careers?

Maybe plot and plan times to meet up for romantic night, sex, romance, wine, flowers, candles etc?!!??!

Thank You!!!


There are a variety of men that are good choices for these women; other doctors, lawyers CEOs, as well as salespeople, entrepreneurs, artists, and even musicians. The man's work isn't any where near as critical as his POWER; and to be more specific it's whatever she PERCEIVES as his power.

I know that's a little vague, but let me explain.

Women want to date "up". That is, you have an internal pre-wired need to be with someone that has greater power than you do in some important key area(s). From this power differential come safety and security which begets love.

The challenge that women face as they focus on their careers is that there are fewer and fewer men with greater power than you. Eventually, your dating pool simply becomes too small and it's much more difficult to find that partner unless you're willing to settle. Frankly, few women today ARE willing to settle!

The very best way to keep the romance and sex alive within a relationship are the following steps:

1) Each partner has to get very close to and accepting of their own sexualities. For instance, one of the most common scenarios for women powerful in the workplace is to want to be submissive in the bedroom. Of course, for some women this goes against the grain of what culture is telling them to do. Thus, they fight it, suppress it and ignore it. That is a sure what to NOT be fulfilled in any relationship and will lead to the eventual death thereof.

2) Become totally and completely trusting of yourself to make good decisions. The reason for this is that when you fully trust yourself, you never have to worry about trusting anyone else. That way, you can expose yourself completely within the relationship. You can get involved in not only your sexuality but someone else's as well.

3) You have to give away responsibility for your own sexual needs and completely take on your partner's.

If you do these things, every encounter with your partner becomes a powerfully charged, romantic and sexual event. Talk about keeping the sparks flying!

The biggest obstacle relationships face today is that they are often "me-oriented". We're in them not for the benefit of the person we're with, but for our own benefit. It's absolutely impossible for romance to exist, let alone flourish, under that consideration.

Best regards...

© 2009, Dr. Dennis W. Neder

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Relationship is a pervading and changing mystery...brutal or lovely, the mystery waits for people wherever they go, whatever extreme they run to. - Euroda Welty

Dr. Dennis W. Neder is the author of Being a Man in a Woman's World I and Being a Man in a Woman's World II. Have a love, dating, relationship, sex or man/woman question? You can write to him by going to: for answers. Check out the discussion group at: . Stay tuned for our new Internet TV Show - BAM TV - starting soon!

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