Men and The Hunt Explained
I get lots of letters about all sorts of dating,
sex and relationship problems every day. Its
interesting that they so often fall into clearly
One of the most common comes from women that
follow various prescribed paths only to find that
they prevent or destroy their relationships. The
majority of these paths seem to come from what I
call mass-think. More specifically,
these are ideas that; while totally incorrect,
continue to be shared as fact mostly
among women. They are actually, anything BUT fact,
but Im getting ahead of myself.
Just this morning I received a response from a
woman whose question I answered yesterday. She
chided me for being wrong since she had
read lots of others advice that
said just the opposite
Interestingly, it was that very advice that got
her into trouble in the first place!
By following this mass-think, she was going down
the exact same failed path that so many other women
follow, yet as often as I hear about how
ineffective these beliefs are, so many continue to
promote them and so few want to believe differently
Interestingly, many men fall into these failed
belief patterns too; not because the actually
follow the pattern, but instead, they just happen
to be victims themselves of the avalanche of this
same mass-think. I even hear men that even spout it
themselves without knowing any better, but when you
actually witness what they do and ask them why
well, its exactly the opposite.
Im in the what really works
business, not the mass-think business. Thus, if you
are fully comfortable and dont want to change
the way you think, act or are, youd probably
best stop reading right here. On the other hand, if
you want to learn a little secret that you have
NEVER heard before, please read on. Just be
Todays topic: men and the
hunt. More specifically, how women react to
their belief that men
and that is somehow linked to
womens success in the dating world.
Its no surprise that women spend much of
their lives seeking out and acquiring knowledge
about men, dating and relationships. Much of this
information comes (unfortunately) from other women
and thus, there are many misunderstandings about
men and what motivates us.
In fact, men *do* love the hunt! The problem
however is that women dont really know what
You can instantly see the disconnect here. If
you are a woman and youre trying to use
methods that address mens need to hunt, but
dont know what it really is, then youre
very likely to do what my previous reader did
simply listen to other womens mistaken
beliefs and respond to those in a me
Lets talk about what the hunt really is by
using an actual hunt (for live game) as an
There are actually two parts to any hunt.
Theres the tracking and hunting
part, and then, theres the kill. The
differences between these two parts should be
When applied to dating and relationships, this
is where you girls (and some guys!) get it
You think that by playing hard to get, being
evasive, using misdirection, speaking in
double-meaning, being vague, etc., that youre
increasing the challenge of the hunt and thus,
increasing your perceived value to men. This is
supposed to make the man work harder and become
more interested in you as a potential partner.
Its supposed to make him more willing to
following YOUR game plan and do all the things you
read about in romance novels.
Unfortunately, this simply isnt the
What you dont understand is that by the
time weve found you, the hunt is
over! Were no longer on the hunt.
Were on the kill portion of our
In other words, were not interested in
reaping the rewards for all our hard work!
If youre the girl that tries to extend out
that kill and some other, easier prey comes along,
guess whos going to become our new focus?
Answer: its not you.
Thats a pretty tragic mistake, dont
you think? Yet, I constantly see women making it
day in and day out.
These otherwise-great women lose the guy because
they dont understand this all-important rule
of hunting that the hunt doesnt
actually involve them! By the time we actually find
you, the hunt is over.
I see this happening all the time. When I point
out this fact to women I often get the argument,
Well, other people [read:
women] have said this works!
This leads me to have to point out that if it
didnt work for this one, its not going
to work for others either.
Thats both tragic and sad. But for a
little education, these women could have actually
had the relationship they wanted with the guy
theyve always dreamed of. Instead, they have
to work twice as hard trying to repair the damage
in order to try to recreate the relationship hope
There are many obvious symptoms of this tragedy
by the way. If you see these, youll instantly
know why they are happening.
- Never calls
- Becomes evasive and doesnt return
- Doesnt seem to be available or trying
to set-up real dates
- Doesnt seem interested in getting to
know you as a person
- Only calls late at night because he just
happened to be free (and usually,
- Doesnt seem to be as open about his
emotions as he was in the beginning
- Seems distracted by every other person and
aspect of his life rather than you
and about 100 other symptoms resulting in
you never actually landing the guy in the first
This would be a good time to re-think your game
plan. If youre hoping to get some guy
on the hunt or on the
chase, youre already too late in the
I know this sounds like Im just trying to
make it easier for us guys and frankly, that is the
net effect of this. However, what Im really
trying to do is to make it easier for you
What you think are us playing games with you
isnt that at all. Were simply reacting
(poorly) to your games instead.
So, whats the alternative?
The answer is so simple, its going to make
your head spin: actually be available and
interested and engaging.
No, this DOES NOT make you look desperate! We
guys simply dont think this way! Remember:
weve already spent all this time and effort
hunting you down. If you make it difficult (or
impossible!) to actually get the prize we were
looking for, well find other, easier