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Men's Career Issues
Most career issues apply to both sexes, but in
honor of Father's day, here are my thoughts on some
men's career issues
Used wisely, male aggressiveness is a
strength
Do not listen to those who say aggressiveness is
a bad characteristic. Use your aggressiveness as a
wise warrior would use a weapon. Its power can
benefit you, your employer and the world, but it
must be used judiciously, sometimes even
surreptitiously.
Do not confuse aggressiveness with anger
Angry people are usually unsuccessful in the
workplace and may place their health at risk. If
you find yourself angry at someone, replace your
fury with empathy, remembering that that person is
probably doing the best he or she can. Be grateful
you are more capable
If you are angry at your life situation,
remember that if you are living in the Bay Area and
not in chronic pain or late-stage terminal illness,
your life is probably better than 95 percent of the
people on the planet. Fortune has smiled upon you.
Go through life with a spirit of gratitude.
Do not uncritically accept that you should be
the primary breadwinner
Each couple must discuss this openly in being
the primary breadwinner, are you forced to take a
job that makes you unhappy or overly stressed?
Would you be much happier in a lower-paying job?
Should your wife assume more of the financial
responsibility, even if it means that she is not
home as much with the kids?(The evidence is
equivocal on whether stay-at-home moms' kids do
better.) Should you do more of the housework? The
parenting? Fortunately, there are no rules -- there
is no more "mens work" or women's work." Each
couple should craft for themselves the division of
labor that best accommodates both spouses'
strengths and preferences.
Consider non-traditional careers
Some traditional female careers are unusually
rewarding: nurse, librarian, teacher, editor and
graphic designer, for example. And in the case of
nursing, the job market is good and salaries are
high, A real man chooses a career that feels aright
for him without worrying that it's a "manly"
career.
Consciously decide how you want to react to
reverse discrimination
No employer will admit it publicly, but in many,
although certainly no all workplaces, women receive
favoritism in hiring and promotion over men who are
more competent and willing to work longer
hours.
You could try a lawsuit, but that is chancy and
exhausting. Or you could make a career of changing
the conventional wisdom that reverse discrimination
is a net good.
If you don't want to pursue either of those
options, get over it. Reverse discrimination is a
fact of life today. It's bad enough you may be
treated unfairly. There is no need to let it
destroy your peace of mind. that reminds me of the
story of Massoud and Tarik on camels in the meddle
of the desert. Suddenly a marauder gallops up, robs
them of their money and gallops away. Massoud is
distraught while Tarik remains calm, Massoud
sputters, "How can you stay calm" Tarik replied,
"He stole my money. I won't let him also steal my
peace of mind"
Forestall aging
Men die an average of six years younger than
women, and it seems that more men than woman in
their min-to late-50s show significant decline in
physical and mental capability. Some of the cause
is probably physiological -- the current theory is
that estrogen protects.
But you do have some control. Because men are
at-risk of earlier decline, it's especially
important that men do what they can to forestall
aging and disease. I'm not telling you anything new
here, but perhaps this is a wakeup call to get
serious about controlling your weight, not smoking,
drinking no more than moderately, and doing regular
moderate exercise. Science is finding that your
mother may have been right. Walking may be the be
the best exercise
I'd also recommend thinking twice about any
extreme diet, including low-carb. Like most fads
that preceded low-carb diets, anything extreme too
often ends up having unwanted side effects. And
even in terms of weight loss, a recent study found
that although for the first six months, low-carb
dieters lose more that dieters on balanced
low-calorie diets, after a year they're equal. See
your doctor before beginning any diet, but you may
be on the safest ground by following the
just-released FDA guidelines which reject low-carb
diets in favor of a well-balanced diet: not too
many carbs, not too few. Focus on whole-grain
rather than refined-grain carbs. Eat lots of fruits
and veggies. Keep your calories down by avoiding
high-fat foods,
Advice I'd give my child
Today, men are often portrayed as lesser than
women. Textbooks, college professors, sitcoms,
movies, even newspaper and magazine features tend
to portray women as the good guys and men as
testosterone-poisoned boors, crooks, or
abusers.
The fact is that most men are hard working,
goal-oriented and straight-shooting. The world
needs both men and women. Don't forget it.
© 2010, Marty
Nemko
* * *
Marty
Nemko holds a PhD from the University of
California, Berkeley, and subsequently taught in
Berkeley’s Graduate School of Education. He is
the worklife columnist in the Sunday San Francisco
Chronicle and is the producer and host of Work With
Marty Nemko, heard Sundays at 11 on 91.7 FM in
(NPR, San Francisco), and worldwide on
www.martynemko.com
 .
400+ of his published writings are available free
on that website and is a co-editor of
Cool
Careers for Dummies.
and author of The All-in-One College Guide.
E-Mail.
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