Jail Time for French Women who Berate
Record cold temperatures are beginning to take
their toll on average citizens around the world. In
bone-chilled France, frustrated housewives have
taken to venting their spleens at their husbands --
and for good reason.
For decades, effete French men have indulged
themselves with aerosol hair spray for their
over-groomed hairpieces, contributing, as we all
know, to the thinning of the ozone layer and
melting of the polar ice caps.
Now the debonair men are taking the heat.
Thankfully, the epidemic of shrieking wives has
not escaped the attention of the ever-vigilant
French Parliament, which is now considering a ban
on the practice. The law would apply to both
married and cohabiting couples.
Support reaches to the highest political levels.
Announcing the proposed law last week, French
premier Francois Fillon explained, The
creation of this offence will allow us to deal with
the most insidious situations situations
that leave no visible scars, but which leave
victims torn up inside.
Repeat perpetrators of psychological
violence would be subject to electronic
tagging, Fillon warned.
Under the new politeness regime, any use of
power and control tactics will be subject to state
intervention. Garden-variety nagging will be
passé. Honey-do lists will be
illégal. And women will think twice before
inquiring about amorous liaisons, since false
allegations of infidelity will also be barred.
Soon-to-be-illegal put-downs also include
Vous avez le cervau d'un sandwich au
fromage (You have the brain of a cheese
sandwich) and T'as une tête a faire
sauter les plaques d'egouts (You've got a
face that would blow off manhole covers).
Many were delighted with the prospect of
re-engineering the prickly French personality. The
French gendarme, weary from tracking down elusive
tax cheats and al-Qaeda operatives, was buoyed by
the news. And middle-aged men mired in stale
marriages now have a respectable way out.
The new proposal has its skeptics, of course.
Psychologist Anne Giraud worries that
Squabbling couples will allege all kinds of
things about each other, but they wont
necessarily be true. Psychiatrist
Marie-France Hirigoyen is likewise
cautious because the law could be
Sociologist Piere Bonnet frets, Next they
will be making rudeness a crime, and the police and
courts will be overrun with work. Many wonder
how a procureur, lacking hard evidence of abuse,
would prosecute an accused scofflaw.
And some recall when actress Brigitte Bardot was
fined $6,000 for violating the French hate-crimes
law when she made impolitic statements about the
looming influence of radical Islam.
Thanks to the new law, millions of French women
will end up spending time behind bars. But it will
be for their own good. And once we put an end to
the spate of psychological violence, we can move on
to other pressing problems like raised eyebrows,
annoying grimaces, and unsympathetic stares.
* * *
Roberts probes and lampoons political correctness.
His work has been published frequently in the
Washington Times, Townhall.com, LewRockwell.com,
ifeminists.net, Intellectual Conservative, and
elsewhere. He is a staff reporter for the New Media
Network. You can contact him at E-Mail
Menstuff® is a registered trademark of Gordon
©1996-2019, Gordon Clay