July
They only want me for my linguistics
This article was first written many years ago while
I was teaching ESL in Korea...
I had heard before I arrived in Korea that the
social customs and mores here were rather
traditional. I knew that dating and romance took
much more time than in the USA. I expected, too,
that I need to adjust to the life of a monk for an
extended period of time. However, never did I
expect that I would be wanted for my linguistic
ability. Korean men, women, children, adolescents
and even the elderly, simply want me for my English
speaking talents.
Now, I know that I am no longer that thin 165
pound blond guy that I was in high school or even
that 175 pound muscular college guy who claimed his
fair share of co-eds. I'm not even the 34 year old
graduate student who was still attractive in body
(at 185 lbs.), sense of humor and spirit. Yes, I'll
admit it: I've gained another 15 pounds as
sedentary employment and middle age have taken
their toll on me. But never, I mean never, did I
expect everyone from toddlers to retirees to
exploit me just for the perfect English sentence!
Married women call me up to practice their sentence
structure; college students suggest a rendezvous at
all hours of the day or night to brush up on their
vocabulary. Not only that, but also, I'm regularly
accosted by construction workers who whistle at me
(from tall buildings under construction or from
street level) as I walk by. They shout: "Hello,
where are you from?" in broken English. Never once
have these people expressed sincere interest in
wanting to know my real feelings, hopes, dreams or
life experiences as a human being!!! Instead, all I
get from them is: "How do you say this in English
or that in English?" I'm afraid to admit that I
often sell myself short for a cup of coffee or a
ride to Haeundae Beach. I, of course, believe they
really want to know the real person inside. But no,
they only want me for my linguistic skills. If only
once, they'd tell me I was intelligent, attractive,
sexy or even funny, then I'd feel less used and
abused. What's a lonely, middle-aged American
English teacher to do when new to Korea and has
left his friends, family and support system back in
"The States"! Well, excuse me, I must get my front
door - - I hear someone mumbling something in
broken English about lessons!!!!!!!
©2010, Michael
Shaffran
* * *
Mike
Shaffran is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and
Psychotherapist with over 30 years experience in
the mental health profession. He's worked most of
his time in outpatient Psychiatric clinics where he
has provided individual, couples/marital, family
and group therapy. He is trained in multiple
therapies, including: Psycho-dynamic,
Gestalt,Structural-Strategic Family, Solution
focused, Brief Therapy, and other methods. He is
trained in EMDR ( a type of therapy for PTSD),
hypnosis, meditation and guided imagery also. Mike
is committed to ongoing seminars, workshops and
trainings to keep current with the latest therapy
to provide the best services possible to his
clients. www.sanluisobispotherapy.com
or E-Mail
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