April Surprise

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April
Why Wisdom Council?

[Note: This is a revision of a Menletter essay from 2005. You may also want to read "Why Men's Gatherings?" for a broader overview.]

For 20 years, the annual Men's Wisdom Council at Rowe, Massachusetts, has provided men with a week of fellowship, fun, and spiritual growth. I've just signed up for my fourteenth year. We still need gatherings like the Men's Wisdom Council - not because they have been ineffective, but because there is an ongoing need for affirming and celebrating men in a society that is often hostile to us.]

The Council gathering is an event I would not want to miss, and I want to share some thoughts about it with you.

What It Is

The Men's Wisdom Council is a six-day gathering of 25 to 30 men in a rustic setting in Rowe, Massachusetts. Most of the men come from New England and the eastern seaboard, but men have attended from as far away as California and Mexico. This year (2012) the Council runs from dinnertime Sunday evening, June 12, to lunchtime Friday, June 20.

The Men's Wisdom Council got started in the early '90s, in the middle of a surge of interest in a "men's movement." Under the leadership of Robert Bly and others in the 1980s, men had begun attending weekend and week-long gatherings.

The Wisdom Council gives us the chance to explore, through poetry, myths, and ritual, what it means to be a man.

MWC provides a wide range of activities:

A community of men. Newcomers and old-timers are equally welcome; in fact, the week would be a failure if there were anything like an old-guard/newcomer split in the community. The community is very diverse, encompassing all ages (late teens through eighties), gay and straight, married and single, professional and working-class, and so on. The group is small, around 25-30, and the six or seven facilitators often take part in activities they aren't leading.
A safe environment for a man to explore who he is as a man, husband/partner, son, brother, father, grandfather, friend. This is one of the few times and places in his life that a man can simply be himself.
Activities that do not espouse a particular theory or "right" point of view - psychological, religious, or social. The week can be deeply spiritual for a man who approaches it that way, but there is no right or wrong way to behave or interact with the other men, as long as it is respectful.
Great humor and lots of activity. When men get together, humor and physical activity are practically inevitable. Think of the best of your summer camp activities as a kid, if you've ever had that experience: making things, hiking, exploring nature, staying up late talking, joking, telling stories, campfire discussions, even just running around in the woods.
Ritual work. Rituals involve some kind of change or transformation, sometimes physical and sometimes psychological or spiritual. Some activities are grounded in mythology and ritual in a way that puts men in touch with spaces and time much larger than the narrow ones we live in every day.
Group and individual activities that often bring a man to profound insights. It is self-exploration in a safe community of compassionate men. No activity is ever required, however, and no man is ever ostracized or ridiculed for sitting out.
An isolated, rural setting in western Massachusetts. Men stay in cabins and meet in a large, rustic, barn-like conference center. Private rooms are available for men who may need them. This is a sacred space that enhances the experience in a way that a hotel ballroom or church basement couldn't begin to approach.
Great food, mostly vegetarian, cooked and served by professional staff. It's important to be fed physically as we are fed spiritually.

We live in a society, at least in the US, that devalues boys and men and then blames us for becoming caricatures of ourselves. Many of us feel lost - or worse, we have no idea of how lost we are but wonder why so many roads we take are dead ends and blind alleys.

The week at Wisdom Council is a journey, sometimes difficult but mostly entertaining, and often inspiring. Each man's story becomes part of a larger, shared story that we take with us as we continue our journey back into the narrow confines of the so-called real world. It seems that getting away from the everyday can help men become more fully themselves, ultimately to the benefit of their families and communities.

This year (2012), the cost for the week ranges from $560 to $645, depending on income. Scholarships and work/study are available. Work/study may involve some help in food preparation and the like, but it is scheduled so that it doesn't interfere with any Council activities. To inquire (in confidence) about a scholarship, call the Rowe Center at 413-339-4954. To my knowledge, no man has ever been turned away for lack of funds.

I don't think any Council has turned a man away because the roster was full, but signing up soon is probably a good idea. For details, see www.rowecenter.org/pages.php?name=MWC. You can sign up on-line.

Donations to the scholarship fund are always welcome. The Council's scholarship money is kept separate from other funds at the Rowe Center. On the donation page, enter an amount under Other and specify Men's Wisdom Council.

I hope to see you there!

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