On Gender


The Lives That Are Destroyed (Items In My Mail)

When I get these letters I feel helpless. There's nothing I can offer so long as we do what we do.

Dear Mr. Wilson,

My name is Lydia <removed> and my husband's name is Jody. He went through a nasty divorce in Harrisonburg Va. The judge awarded him visitation of their 6 year old girl at the mother's discretion. That means never. We pay $700.00 a month in support plus insurance and I think it is terrible that they can get away with this. They don't care how he cries for his little girl. He is a very hard working, loving and gentle man and has never been in any sort of trouble. There is no reason for this. One of the lawyers we had said that women move from all over the US just to get their divorce here. There has to be a reason. Our hands are tied. They have drained us of everything we have, including our hearts. It seems as though Kaitlyn will go on forever and never know her father because the court system sold her to the highest bidder. But we pay the bill. Please let us know if you can help or if you know who can.

Dear K.C.,

Having been a divorced father for 10 years, I read some of the statistics on your website and thought: How can we as a society allow the court system to simply equate the payments of money as a substitute for fathers? It has made me miserable for all these years. Unfortunately, my onetime girlfriend has given birth to our child and the flames of love and passion have turned to the ashes of enmity and contempt. She will not permit me to see my child! I am heartbroken all over again. I am left with the bitter feeling that this woman has used my sperm to have her "baby" and will now use the court system to take money from me and allow my fatherly presence at her own discretion. What's a dad to do?

Steve D.

Dear Mr. Wilson:

I am so thankful to have found your information ! For the past two years I have witnessed abuses toward my son that have broken my heart and caused me to feel anger beyond expression ! In the past I bought the idea of the no account, deadbeat father, but I now know that many of these young men are simply trying to survive and the child support payments enforced by the courts make this task very difficult .I have helped him with these payments because he has been unemployed 2 years (no fault of his own) and is now in school completing an engineering degree. So, you see, the financial burden is not his alone to bear, but the courts DO NOT CARE!

I appreciate your comments about mothers being able to remarry, start another family, etc., while dad is prevented from doing so because of the financial burden. I am also convinced that some women are opportunistic and vindictive. In these cases the father is victimized and this is fully supported by the legal system. Mothers have no right to walk out, never look back, then tell dad to pay up -- it truly is an injustice to both father and son.

Thanks for listening. I will continue to visit your website. Please continue to care about this serious, family destroying issue!!

Tess R.

Nobody knows until it happens to them. Then, it's too late.

The public does not want to think that our systems regularly meet out abuse. It's only unusual cases; you must be exaggerating. How do we get it across?

©2007 KC Wilson

*    *    *

To nourish children and raise them against odds is in any time, any place, more valuable than to fix bolts in cars or design nuclear weapons. - Marilyn French


 K.C. Wilson is a social commentator and author of Where's Daddy? The Mythologies Behind Custody-Access-Support, and the e-books: Male Nurturing, Co-parenting for Everyone, The Multiple Scandals of Child Support, and Delusions of Violence: The Secrets Behind Domestic Violence Myths. For his personal life, he prefers anonymity. He writes as a nobody, for he is not your ordinary divorce expert with the usual credentials. He is not a lawyer or psychologist, he is not now nor has he ever been a member of the Divorce Industry. K.C. is simply a thinker and researcher, for the issues are not legal, but human, social and common to all. When change is indicated, should we turn to those that the very status quo which is to be questioned has promoted to "expert?" Society's structures are up to society, not a select few. So his writing is for and about you, the ordinary person. K.C. prefers to be known as simply one himself, and that is how he writes. Find out more at wheres-daddy.com


Contact Us | Disclaimer | Privacy Statement
Menstuff® Directory
Menstuff® is a registered trademark of Gordon Clay
©1996-2019, Gordon Clay