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Do You Remember to Breathe in Bed?
It may sound strange to be asking if you are
breathing during your passionate moments in
lovemaking. Obviously, if you weren't breathing at
all, you'd be dead.
But there's an important difference between
breathing fully and breathing partially that can
significantly affect your lovemaking. Here's what I
mean:
--If you or your partner tend to breathe in a
shallow or restricted way during lovemaking (either
because you're anxious, tired, trying too hard, or
feeling distracted) the sensations are lessened and
the orgasms are much less pleasurable.
--Specifically, if a man learns how to breathe
in and out deeply and fully during lovemaking, it
will bring his excitement up from his genitals and
let it spread throughout his entire body. It will
also allow a much longer lovemaking session because
the turn-on will be felt all the way from his feet
to his fingers, to his chest and the top of his
forehead. When he finally does have an orgasm, it
will be experienced as a full-body orgasm rather
than a limited release of genitals only.
--If a woman learns how to breathe in and out
deeply during lovemaking, it will send much-needed
oxygen to her pelvic area and allow greater
pulsations, contractions, and releases than if she
barely breathes during lovemaking. She will also be
experiencing a full-bodied connection to the
lovemaking, rather than being stuck in her thoughts
or her anxieties.
--If a couple slows down their movements during
their lovemaking every so often and just breathes
together for a few minutes, it can be extremely
intimate and passionate. As Faith Hill says in her
hit song, "Just breathe!"
--If a man wants to become a better oral lover,
he can do so by breathing in and out slowly and
smoothly for as long as he goes down on his
partner. Many men can do an extended in and out
breathing (that doesn't go too fast or cause
hyperventilation) that lasts for 20 or 40 or even
60 minutes while their partner is taken to oral
heights of ecstasy.
--If you want to become a better breather and a
more expansive lover, practice right now by taking
a deep connected inhale breath that rises from the
bottom of your feet to the top of your head and
then exhales back down again like a waterwheel
which flows from the top of your head down to your
feet and back up again in a circular motion.
--If you do this too quickly or aggressively,
you will begin to hyperventilate and feel dizzy,
which can be dangerous. So just make the waterwheel
a medium-sized flow of breath that rises from your
feet to your head and back down again in a smooth
and gentle motion. Be sure to keep the waterwheel
flowing smoothly and evenly, because if your brain
locks onto a thought and you forget to breathe you
might experience some cramping or dizziness. If
this happens, just relax and take in another smooth
inhale and exhale until the waterwheel of breath is
flowing again. The cramping and dizziness should
disappear quickly if your breathing is smooth and
gentle.
--Some yoga and Tantric Sexuality teachers say
to inhale through your nostrils and exhale through
your mouth. But for many people it works just as
well to inhale and exhale nose-nose or mouth-mouth
in whatever combination makes you feel comfortable
and pleasurable.
--These breathing techniques have helped many of
my counseling clients to become less focused on
their brains and genitals during lovemaking, while
being far more able to feel the pulsing enjoyment
that is moving through your entire body, mind, and
soul.
--If possible, imagine during lovemaking that
the waterwheel of inhales and exhales is connecting
you and your partner. If you and your partner
listen to your breathing and enjoy the flow of the
waterwheel, you will experience the powerful
sensation that you are more than two bodies in bed
together. You are connected to the infinite pulsing
of the universe, the winds and ocean waves as well
as the pull of the moon and the warmth of the sun.
To experience that strong a sensation with someone
you care about deeply is one of the greatest highs
in life.
©2006 Leonard
Felder
Leonard
Felder is a licensed psychologist in private
practice in West Los Angeles. As a popular lecturer
and recognized expert on how to improve personal
relationships, his books have sold more than 1
million copies. His latest book is Wake
Up or Break Up: The 8 Crucial Steps to
Strengthening Your
Relationship See
www.wakeuporbreakup.com
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