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October
What Does Cum Taste Like?
Dear Paul,
The long and the short of it is that my
girlfriend likes to swallow when she goes down on
me. That's all well and good (believe me!) but she
almost always later complains of an upset stomach.
According to her, it's somewhat acidic. I haven't
said anything about this to her yet my first
thought is that she should drink some milk, because
it's a base, but I'd rather get rid of the acidity
of my semen. Is there a way to do this... and is
the acidity of my semen problematic for me in
anyway?
JP
Dear JP,
As I've been saying for years, if the Good Lord
had only designed us guys to ejaculate chocolate,
life would be nearly perfect. Can you imagine going
to the laundermat or the grocery store and having
women with sweet tooths throwing themselves at your
crotch, begging to please Monsieur Chocolat?
You get all sorts of people offering all sorts
of descriptions about male ejaculate. For instance,
some people say it smells like bean sprouts, others
say it smells like the Privet Tree, which is a
deciduous evergreen that is nicknamed the "come
tree." The most common thing that people say it
smells like is household bleach. (The active
ingredient in household bleach was discovered by
the French chemist Berthollet in 1787. Given the
similarities in smell between bleach and male
ejaculate, I fear that the French will soon start
claiming that in addition to discovering the
former, they also discovered the latter. The
Italians will naturally agree, saying that the
ejaculate the French discovered was that of an
Italian male on the lips of a French woman.)
Just so you'll know, it's not unusual for some
partners to feel an upset stomach once they swallow
male ejaculate. While I can't tell you the exact
mechanism of the upset (taste, texture, chemical
reaction, emotional), I can tell you that your
penis is putting out three different flavors.
First, is the clear, slick pre-cum that dribbles
out before you ejaculate. This fluid helps change
the acid balance in the vagina so your sperm will
find less chemical resistance upon landing. It also
adds more lube to the intercourse equation. Maybe
it tastes a bit salty, maybe a bit acidic, and
maybe you can't taste it at all.
Next is the first spurt of ejaculate. This first
spurt is full of sperm from your testicles. It also
contains a rush of fluid from your prostate. It may
have a taste of its own, perhaps a little metallic
or salty, given how it contains zinc,
phospholipids, amines and enzymes.
Then comes the remaining spurts which contain
the lion's share of the volume. While they don't
have much sperm, they act like the supply wagon for
the sperm that shot out on the first spurt. They
have plenty of fructose, prostaglandins, pH
neutralizers, coagulating compounds, fatty acids,
and I also suspect BHT and Polysorbate. (Doesn't
everything we swallow these days have BHT and
Polysorbate?)
As for changing the pH of your ejaculate, I
don't think this is possible or desirable. It's
very unlikely that your semen is acidic. While the
fluid from the prostate tends to be acidic, the
fluid from your testicles is alkaline. They mix
together to give healthy semen a pH of 7.2 to 8.0.
A more acidic reading might indicate a blocked
seminal vesicle. A more alkaline reading should
make you suspect an infection. If you honestly
think that yours is acidic or too alkaline, please
see a physician.
Some people swear that the taste of ejaculate is
impacted by your diet. Others say this isn't true.
One reader swears her boyfriend tasted bitter when
he was under stress at work, but sweetened up when
things were good at work.
As for having your girlfriend drink milk before
giving you oral sex, I'd say this would help
elevate the notion of having a milk mustache to a
whole new level. Perhaps we could forward the
suggestion to the Milk Advisory Board. In the
meantime, why don't the two of you check out the
free non-swallow blow job technique that's on our
internet site (www.goofyfootpress.com).
Or you can find this technique in the third edition
of the "Guide To Getting It On!" on page 224. I
think it will help your partner find ways to please
you orally without having to swallow a drop.
©2010 by Paul
Joannides
Related Issues: Talking
With Kids About Tough Issues, Relationship,
Sexuality
Books: Relationship,
Sexuality
* * *
In America, sex is an obsession, in other parts of
the world it is a fact. - Marlene Dietrich
Paul
Joannides is the author of the Guide
To Getting It On!--the Universe's Coolest and Most
Informative Book On Sex.
You can contact him at www.goofyfootpress.com
by clicking on the cover of the Guide that
appears on his web site. All columns are the
property of Paul Joannides and Goofy Foot
Press
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