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November
Afterward II: New Thinking
about Fatherhood: The Spirit of Fatherhood
Spirituality is another element of becoming a
father. The child you are caring for is more than
just a body. There is also an invisible yet vital
element that is their soul or spirit. This lies at
the very core of your child’s being. It
contains his or her creative potential and highest
ideals.
Like all aspects of a child it needs to be
nurtured. Be aware of the soul within and hold it
as you hold your child’s body: gently, kindly
and with the greatest respect. Embrace their spirit
and know they embrace yours. When you hold your new
born baby in your arms you can feel the deepest
spiritual connection you share. The miracle of
pregnancy, birth and early infancy has the
possibility to soften and transform the strongest
and most formidable of men.
Embrace your spiritual potential as a father.
You can provide the framework in which your
child’s spirit can unfold. Providing the
security of a safe home and a structure for them to
expand into are key. Going to work each day and
looking after your children may seem mundane but it
is spirituality in action and central to their
wellbeing. Virtues such as compassion,
unconditional love and forgiveness are spiritual
lessons you can also provide. This unique blend of
mind, body and spirit which is your child needs
direction that only you, their father, can
provide.
Whatever guidance you seek to give your child,
be the teaching. Children learn about respect by
being respected. They learn about trust by being
trusted. Children learn best through example.
Rather than trying to mould them into your
likeness, what if you listened very carefully and
let them tell you who they want to become? In this
way you are not so much teaching them but
supporting the awakening of their soul. This
happens by finding more and more ways to say YES to
who they are, how they are and who they want to
become. Do you best to restrict the use of the word
no. It is non-constructive and can be soul
destroying, safety aside. If we recognize the
spiritual nature of each of us then we only need to
love our children beyond all measure, trust the
process and watch them unfold.
The Dalai Lama is the spiritual head of Tibetan
Buddhism. From a very young age he was raised as
‘someone special’. He was told that he
had an extraordinary purpose in this life and that
he would accomplish great things. He was treated
with tremendous respect by everyone. It was also
clear that this was his destiny and he should study
and learn as much as possible, so as to do his best
in his life’s work. Look at who he has become.
He teaches peace through everything he says and
does, even with his people’s oppressors. In my
opinion this is no coincidence. Putting aside
religious beliefs or practices imagine the outcome,
individually and collectively, if every child is
raised similarly. What if all children are told
that they are someone special, they have unique
gifts and an extraordinary life purpose to fulfill;
one that only they can? What if all children are
treated with that level of care and respect, by
everyone? Imagine.
Also consider the possibility that your children
are destined to be your greatest teachers. A wise
old soul may be found in the youngest of bodies.
This concept may be just the opposite of what you
might have thought. What if you became the student
and allowed yourself to learn from him or her?
Listen carefully.
Be open to the Spirit of Fatherhood and
all it has to offer. The rewards will be great. It
is all a spiritual experience. Thank you
God!
©2010, Patrick
Houser
* * *
Patrick
Houser is a father and a grandfather. His second
son's arrival was the first waterbirth in the U.S.
This led him into nearly 25 years of support for
both choices and working with parents. He has
gained wide experience from various fields
including a degree in marketing, owning a
construction firm and a natural health centre.
Patrick is a Life Coach and co-founder of
Fathers-To-Be, a new concept in antenatal
education, for men. Fathers-To-Be also offers
consulting and training for health service
providers. E-Mail
or www.fatherstobe.org
These articles are excerps from his book
Fathers-To-Be
Handbook: A road map for the transition
to fatherhood.
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