How to Succeed with Women Keeping Your Confidence with Women and Not Having a One-and-Only Hope Dear Dating gurus, I used to be able to get women easily--now I'm not confident I can anymore. It seems like every time I get near an attractive woman now, I just think about what a loser I am all the time. Even if they are nice to me, I'm so convinced that I'm a loser that I can't be myself with them. What should I do? Missin' the good ol' days Hey "Missin'" It sounds like you are a victim of "operant conditioning". Basically, you've become conditioned to think of your "failures" when you see an attractive woman, which just makes you feel like even more of a loser, which perpetuates the whole cycle, right? What you really need to do is start breaking the cycle, which will not feel natural at first. We suggest you start relentlessly managing your mental state around women. First, you should start listing to yourself, every day, the things that happened that day that were successes with girls. Second, you should find a way to make EVERY interaction with a woman a success in your own mind--which won't feel natural at first, but will become so, don't let that stop you. Let Yourself Feel Good About Your Successes. Third, you need to get over the "what will people think" concern--you do that by being outrageous with women (ie flirting, etc,) and making every interaction a win in your own mind that you feel good about. This will start breaking the negative cycle you are caught in. Don't dwell in rejections, change your focus and move on. Dear Guys, There's this woman I'm interested in. She has a boyfriend and doesn't show much interest in me, but I really want her and just find her so attractive. I'm not interested in anyone else-I visit this girl at the shop she works at, but she often says she's busy and can't talk. What should I do? Pining Dear Pining, One of the biggest mistakes you are clearly making is to put all your eggs in one basket. That is to say, you are only hitting on one woman and not pursuing other women. We strongly recommend you start to flirt and date many women at once, while you search for a girlfriend. When a man only pursues one woman he cannot be successful, as his mind becomes clouded with naive hopes. This will eventually lead to desperation, which is happening to you. So, start today searching out for other women to pursue. One very useful thing you can start today is the HI program. Make a commitment to say HI to several women per day. This simple technique will improve your confidence and it will eventually build into having conversations with women. You can also use this tool to observe the areas within yourself that are resistant to talk to women, and start to work on them. At the beginning of your dating, you should never put all your eggs in one basket. Don't let this woman be your one and only hope, and you'll have a better chance with other women, and also be more relaxed and attractive around her. © 2008, Mastery Technologies, Inc. Other Relationship Issues, Books *     *     * We must try to trust one another. Stay and cooperate. - Jomo Kenyatta Ron Louis and David Copeland are the authors of How to Succeed with Women, The Sex Lover's Book of Lists, and The Mastery Program audio course. Send them those seduction questions: questions@howtosucceedwithwomen.com You're question may be used in the next newsletter! Subscribe to their Free newsletter for tons of Free seduction information. Type in your email address, and click on "subscribe," then click on submit! See a sample from The Rules For Getting Laid and a review on Amazon.com or the tape series. Also, check out their web site www.howtosucceedwithwomen.com and see a review of their book. Contact Us | Disclaimer | Privacy Statement Menstuff® Directory Menstuff® is a registered trademark of Gordon Clay ©1996-2023, Gordon Clay