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How Can I Get Women to Approach Me?
Hi Ron and David!
Here's a question for you--how can I get women
to approach me?
Bob
Hey Bob,
The men who succeed at attracting hot women with
little or no effort are the men who follow
seduction fundamental #8: "Be building a life you
love, separate from women." These are the men who
have gone after what they really wanted in their
lives...the rock stars, the presidents, the famous
actors.
You probably don't fall into one of those
categories, but you can make use of the underlying
principle, which is this: Women are attracted to
men who are turned on by their lives and by what
they are up to. This is why a guy in a garage-band
can have women approach him for sex: he's excited
by what he is up to, and doing something unusual,
even if he doesn't have a lot of money or power.
This is why "creating a live you love, separate
from women" is a fundamental. Ultimately, we want
you to be what we call a "level 5 'man's man"
seducer,' living a life that women naturally want
to be a part of. Getting to this point, however,
requires effort.
In our book, How
to Succeed with Women we talked briefly
about "gimmicks." Gimmicks are things that make you
more approachable to a woman. If a woman wants to
talk with you, but she can't think of a thing to
say to you, or anything to talk with you about, she
won't make the approach, period. If you have
something about you that makes you easier to
approach, the possibility of her making that
approach goes up.
However, we must warn you that gimmicks are not
a cure-all. The biggest problem that our students
have with gimmicks is that the students who are
usually most interested in finding a gimmick try to
use it to replace doing the other seduction
fundamentals. That never works. They seem to think,
"Great, I have a gimmick, I don't need to learn to
approach women, or to initiate with women, or to
handle rejection, or to learn how to flirt and show
romantic interest, or any of the other eight
fundamentals of seducing women." Then they are
surprised when the gimmick doesn't solve all their
problems with women.
The bottom line is this: it's important that you
don't indulge in thinking that there's a way out of
doing the work to seduce women. Gimmicks might
help, or they might not.
Here are some of the gimmicks men use:
- Learning magic tricks and learning to perform
them in social settings
- Having a dog
- Carrying a baby
- Having a hand puppet, and interacting with
everyone you see with it
- Going to a poetry reading and reading love
poetry
- Learning palm-reading and using it to talk
with women
These gimmicks are not as easy as they look,
though--If you learn magic, you still have to have
the balls to perform the tricks, and no doubt
you'll end up coaxing women to "pick a card"
anyway, so you are back to having to do the
initiating. If you carry a hand-puppet (as one
successful seducer we've known does), you still
have to have the balls to go up to women and
interact with them through it. Having a dog may get
some women to approach you, but you'll do better at
a dog park or dog-training seminar--and there you
are, having to initiate again. If you read poetry
at a poetry reading, women may come up and talk
with you afterwards, but you're still better off
making the first approach. And if you learn
palm-reading, you still have to get it started with
a woman...and if you are going to go to the trouble
of getting palm-reading started, you might as well
flirt with her in other, more authentic ways, like
through "deepening" conversations. So perhaps
gimmicks make the initial approach easier. But
there's a better way to do it.
The best way we've found to make the initial
approach easy is through fundamental 5, "Do your
niche work." You must find niches that work for
you. Niches put you in situations where it's easy
to talk with women, or even automatic, and that's
what you really want.
A niche is an event or location that has
interacting with women you find attractive, more or
less automatically. The best niches are points of
entry into communities that contain women, and they
set you up to interact with those women. These can
be classes on all sorts of topics (from accounting
to trapeze), churches, workshops, art openings,
organizations of "friends" of the Art Museum or
Zoo, new age events, personal growth weekends,
clubs, or anything else you can find where people
gather to share their enthusiasms.
Niches can be a pain in the ass to find, but
once you have found niches that work for you, it
becomes much easier to meet women and seduce
them.
Let's talk a little about the "personal growth
seminars" niche. Some of our top students use
personal growth weekends as a favorite niche,
because the women who go to them are often young,
open-minded, and attractive.
One of our students recently went to a personal
growth seminar weekend and told us this about it:
"There were two hot young Italian girls there, who
at first I thought were lesbians because they were
touching each other so much, but I guess that's
what they do overseas. We got to talking about the
different processes over the weekend, and I was in
a small group with one of them, and I practiced all
my flirting moves. I paid attention to what they
shared, and talked with them about it when I could,
and they were both really receptive, though one
more than the other. The Sunday night after the
program was over I took one of them out, made my
move in the restaurant, and she started kissing me
so passionately I was actually starting to feel
like it was too much to be doing in public! We went
back to her place, and it was great. The best part
was I really didn't feel like I had to 'work' to
get her to like me--being at the seminar together
seemed to give us a lot in common automatically,
and made things a lot easier."
One of the key elements of most personal growth
seminars is the deep level of bonding that quickly
happens between participants. At a personal growth
seminar, you will be in a group of people who are
there to break out of their normal day-to-day
routines and to try something new. This can be a
good environment for you to experiment with new
behaviors with women who will be much more
receptive than women on the street would be.
Most seminars stress emotional honesty. People
who reveal their inner most secrets are often
rewarded by the group leaders and gain the respect
of fellow seminarians. This environment is perfect
because you can come across as Mr. Sincere and Mr.
Emotionally Honest & Available. This is
attractive to women.
On a break you could walk up to the most
beautiful woman in the room and say something like,
"I really feel like I can be honest about who I am
here, and that I can take risks I've never been
able to take before...and so I want to tell you I
think you are a very beautiful woman, and I'd like
to get to know you better." In such an environment,
which stresses honesty and sharing, you can
approach many women and honestly express your
attraction, and ask them out.
If that's too much for you, you can practice
your flirting moves on breaks or when the group
separates into small groups for sharing.
Another advantage is that most women attending
will be open to meeting you, and may even approach
you first. Some will actually be attending with the
sole purpose of meeting a man (like the woman our
student connected with at the seminar he went
to).
You may find the information presented at the
seminar useful, too. As we've said so often, the
clearer a man is about his purpose in life, the
easier a time he usually has with women. A seminar
may help you develop this clarity.
The only major downfall of seminars is that they
may cost too much money. Try to find seminars that
have an introductory evening that you can go to,
first, and scope out the women who show up before
you invest your time and money.
Are personal growth seminars the answer for
everyone? Of course not. You have to find out which
niches work for you. The point is to get you
thinking about the question, "What niches might
work for me?" What are you interested in? What
might you be able to become interested in? Check
out your local weekly paper or events calendar, or
your local newspaper's web site to start finding
some possible niches for you. In the right niches,
it becomes very easy (or even automatic) to
approach and talk with women--and that's closer, at
least, to having women approach you.
© 2007, Mastery
Technologies, Inc.
Other Relationship Issues,
Books
* * *
We must try to trust one another. Stay and
cooperate. - Jomo Kenyatta
Ron
Louis and David Copeland are the authors of
How
to Succeed with
Women, The Sex
Lover's Book of Lists, and The Mastery
Program audio course. Send them those seduction
questions: questions@howtosucceedwithwomen.com
You're question may be used in the next newsletter!
Subscribe to their Free
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