To Become More than Just a Friend
The flirting moves that get you out of the "lowly
friend" category and into the "potential lover"
1) Look into her eyes "too long." This is simply
holding eye contact a little bit longer than you
normally would. While you are conversing with her,
you want to be sure to have eye contact at least
some of the time. At least once it's a good idea to
hold the eye contact a little "too long," just a
fraction too long, so there's a brief, more
intimate moment between you.
2) Make decisions easily. It's important to make
sure that you make decisions easily. Remember your
outcome: romantic feelings, and moving the
seduction along. This means that making a decision
quickly is more important than choosing the perfect
type of coffee, or taking the time to really think
about whether you want cherry Danish or a plain
one. By making decisions quickly, you show her that
you are a decisive man who she won't have to take
3) Wink at her. You can wink at someone from
across the room, or wink at someone during a
conversation. If she says something funny, or
someone else does something silly, you can give a
wink as a way of sharing a little moment for just
the two of you, as if the two of you are in on some
private joke no one else is aware of.
4) Check out her body. Checking out her body
must be done properly. The goal is for your new
friend to feel complimented that you noticed her
body, not objectified like some piece of meat. You
do this by making eye contact, then quickly, in
less than a second, passing your eyes down and then
up over her body, then back to looking in the eyes.
It should happen quickly, and you should be
unashamed of taking a glance. Just don't do it too
often--two times during a coffee date, for
instance, is plenty.
5) Keep your body powerful. Women want to be
with men who are engaged in their lives. You'll
appear even more engaged if you sit, stand and move
like you are both fascinated and fascinating. As a
bonus, moving as if you are totally engaged with
and turned on by life will perk you up and give you
more energy for the interaction.
6) Compliment her. You want to cultivate
complimenting her as a potential lover, not as a
tepid friend. Let's talk briefly about the
difference: A man who is destined to be a woman's
friend compliments her by saying something like,
"you have a very nice briefcase." The compliment
doesn't show that he is interested in her
romantically, or that he notices anything romantic
about her. Put another way, it's a compliment
another woman might give to her. If you give a
woman a compliment that another woman might give
her, you might as well be another woman, striking
up a casual friendship.
You want to make it clear that you are a man who
is noticing her as a woman, rather than an
amorphous blob of undefined protoplasm who might as
well be another woman talking to her. A man who is
committed to being seen as a potential lover gives
compliments that show that he notices her as a
Rather than saying, "You have a nice briefcase"
he'll say something like "You have beautiful eyes,"
or "Your smile is so beautiful, it lights up the
At first it may be uncomfortable for you to
compliment her, that is okay keep going, keep
taking the risk, and up the passion in your
compliments. Yes, you are risking rejection, but
that's good! Remember the rejection process, and
remember to celebrate your victories!
7) Whisper to her/lean into her space.
Whispering to her doesn't mean you have to get all
the way up to her earit may be too early in
your interaction with her to get that close. But
you can lean into her space, and lower the volume
of your voice, to share something with her.
© 2007, Mastery
Other Relationship Issues,
* * *
We must try to trust one another. Stay and
cooperate. - Jomo Kenyatta
Louis and David Copeland are the authors of
to Succeed with
Women, The Sex
Lover's Book of Lists, and The Mastery
Program audio course. Send them those seduction
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