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Homosexuality and Pedophilia: The False
link
Q: I've heard therapists say that a male
adult who sexually abuses a boy isn't necessarily
‘homosexual.' This seems confusing: If he
isn't homosexual, then why would he sexually molest
boys, instead of girls?
This is a very good question, and there are
several ways to respond to it. First, we need to
clarify our definitions. When discussing sexual
abuse and molestation of children, there's often
conflict over terminology. One frequently quoted
researchers on the topic of homosexuality and child
molestation, Gregory Herek, a research psychologist
at the University of California, defines pedophilia
as "a psychosexual disorder characterized by a
preference for prepubescent children as sexual
partners, which may or may not be acted upon."
(http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/rainbow and
psychology.ucdavis.edu/rainbow//html/facts_molestation.html
 )
He defines child sexual abuse as "actual sexual
contact between an adult and someone who has not
reached the legal age of consent." Not all
pedophiles actually molest children, he points out.
A pedophile may be attracted to children, but never
actually engage in sexual contact with them. Quite
often, pedophiles never develop a sexual
orientation toward other adults.
Herek points out that child molestation and
child sexual abuse refer to "actions," without
implying any "particular psychological makeup or
motive on the part of the perpetrator." In other
words, not all incidents of child sexual abuse are
perpetrated by pedophiles. Pedophilia can be viewed
as a kind of sexual fetish, wherein the person
requires the mental image of a child--not
necessarily a flesh-and-blood child--to achieve
sexual gratification. Rarely does a pedophile
experience sexual desire for adults of either
gender. They usually don't identify as
homosexual–the majority identify as
heterosexual, even those who abuse children of the
same gender They are sexually aroused by youth, not
by gender. In contrast, child molesters often exert
power and control over children in an effort to
dominate them. They do experience sexual desire for
adults, but molest children episodically, for
reasons apart from sexual desire, much as rapists
enjoy power, violence and controlling their
humiliated victims. Indeed, research supports that
a child molester isn't any more likely to be
homosexual than heterosexual.
In fact, some research shows that for
pedophiles, the gender of the child is immaterial.
Accessibility is more the factor in who a pedophile
abuses. This may explain the high incidence of
children molested in church communities and
fraternal organizations, where the pedophile may
more easily have access to children. In these
situations, an adult male is trusted by those
around him, including children and their families.
Males are often given access to boys to mentor,
teach, coach and advise. Therefore, a male
pedophile may have easier access to a male child.
In trying to make sense of an adult male's sexually
abusing a male child, many of us mislabel it as an
act of homosexuality, which it isn't.
Feminists have argued for years that rape is not
a sex act–it is an act of violence using sex
as a weapon. In the same way, a pedophile abusing a
child of the same sex is not perpetrating a
homosexual act, but an act of violence and
exploitation using sexuality. There is a world of
difference between these two things, but it
requires a subtle understanding of the inner
motivation of the abuser.
To call child molestation of a boy by a man
"homosexual” or of a girl by a man
"heterosexual" is to misunderstand pedophilia. No
true pedophile is attracted to adults, so neither
homosexuality nor heterosexuality applies.
Accordingly, Herek suggests calling men's sexual
abuse of boys "male-male molestation" and men's
abuse of girls, "male-female molestation."
Interestingly, Anna C. Salter writes, in
“Predators, Pedophiles, Rapists and other Sex
Offenders”, that when a man molests little
girls, we call him a "pedophile" and not a
"heterosexual." Of course, when a man molests
little boys, people say outright, or mutter under
their breath, "homosexual. Herek writes that
because of our society's aversion to male
homosexuality, and the attempts made by some to
represent gay men as a danger to "family values,"
many in our society immediately think of male-male
molestation as homosexuality. He compares this with
the time when African Americans were often falsely
accused of raping white women, and when medieval
Jews were accused of murdering Christian babies in
ritual sacrifices. Both are examples of how
mainstream society eagerly jumped to conclusions to
that justified discrimination and violence against
these minorities. Today, gays face the same kind of
prejudice. Most recently, we've seen gay men
unfairly turned out of the Boy Scouts of America on
the basis of this myth that gay men are likely to
be child molesters. Keeping gays out of scouting
won't protect boys from pedophiles.
In reality, abuse of boys by gay pedophiles is
rare, and the abuse of girls by lesbians is rarer
still. Nicholas Groth is a noted authority on this
topic. In a 1982 study by Grot, he asks, "Are
homosexual adults in general sexually attracted to
children, and are pre-adolescent children at
greater risk of molestation from homosexual adults
than from heterosexual adults? There is no reason
to believe so. The research to date all points to
there being no significant relationship between a
homosexual lifestyle and child molestation. There
appears to be practically no reportage of sexual
molestation of girls by lesbian adults, and the
adult male who sexually molests young boys is not
likely to be homosexual." Herek writes, similarly,
that abuse of boys by gay men is rare; and that the
abuse of girls by lesbians is rarer still.
The topic of female-female molestation continues
to be largely ignored. There are few books on
female sex offenders, particularly about mothers
sexually abusing their daughters. I can find no
books on mothers who sexually abuse their sons.
There is one handbook by Hani Miletski, M.S.W.,
entitled, “Mother-Son Incest: The Unthinkable
Taboo.” Unthinkable is an appropriate word--so
much so that there is nothing else in the
literature on this topic, even though female
pedophiles and female child molesters certainly
exist.
We know so much more than we did historically
and yet have a long way to go. We can understand
child sexual abuse further when people's bias and
prejudice are removed and the evidence is empirical
and scientific.
©2009 by Joe Kort
Related: Issues,
Books
Psychotherapist
Joe Kort, MA, MSW, has been in practice since 1985.
He specializes in Gay Affirmative Psychotherapy as
well as IMAGO Relationship Therapy, which is a
specific program involving communication exercises
designed for couples to enhance their relationship
and for singles to learn relationship skills. He
also specializes in sexual addiction, childhood
sexual, physical and emotional abuse, depression
and anxiety. He offers workshops for couples and
singles. He runs a gay men's group therapy and a
men's sexuality group therapy for straight, bi and
gay men who are struggling with specific sexual
issues. His therapy services are for gays and
lesbians as well as heterosexuals. His articles and
columns have appeared in The Detroit Free
Press, Between the Lines Newspaper for
Gays and Lesbians, The Detroit News, The
Oakland Press, The Royal Oak Mirror, and
other publications. Besides providing therapy for
individuals and couples, he conducts a number of
groups and workshops for gay men. Now an adjunct
professor teaching Gay and Lesbian Studies at Wayne
State University's School of Social Work, he is
doing more writing and workshops on a national
level. He is the author of 10
Smart Things Gay Men can do to Improve Their
Lives and
10
Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Find Real
Love.
www.joekort.com
or E-Mail
*
Gaydar
(gay'.dahr, n.): (1) The
ability that lets gays and lesbians identify one
other. (2) This column--where non-gay readers can
improve their gaydar, learning more about gay men's
psychology and social lives. Also, (3) a regular
feature where gay readers can discover the many
questions and hassles their straight
counterparts--and themselves--must face!
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