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Making Addictions CRYSTAL Clear!
Drugs and alcohol are part of our American
culture. Their use is rampant among gay men, since
the bars are a main social outlet. The anxiety of
walking into a gay bar and hoping to meet Mr.
Right, or even make friends, can be excruciating.
Alcohol and drugs can help to ease that
anxiety.
Crystal meth has been in the gay community for a
while and has hit Michigan big over the past year.
If I can speak in my Jewish Mother voice I would
say that any use of crystal meth is going too far.
But in my professional understanding of the gay
culture, I know the reality is that gay men use it.
So, how much use is going too far?
Clients often ask me what level of drug or
alcohol use points to an addiction, compared to
mere recreational social use. Is it an addiction to
use crystal meth only on the weekends? Is it
recreational to drink until I get drunk—once a
week? If I use drugs or alcohol only to socialize,
does that make me an abuser?
People often believe they’re not addicted
if they don’t crave the drug or alcohol, or if
they’re not suffering withdrawal symptoms when
they try to quit. They don’t realize that
those symptoms affect only a small percentage of
users at the later stages of severe addiction. Most
people with drug and alcohol problems, even some
chronic alcoholics and drug abusers, do not
experience cravings or withdrawal symptoms.
Based on the Chemical Dependency model, there
are three general types of drug and alcohol
users— Recreational, Abusive, and Addictive,
based on the following criteria:
1) Recreational Users drink or use drugs only on
“special occasions.” These individuals
can control their use and can start and stop
whenever they choose. They can predict in advance
how much they will drink or use and seldom suffer
any negative consequences. They never get ticketed
for driving under the influence (DUI) and
don’t experience blackouts.
(Blackouts are different from passing out. A
blackout is any period of time, whether it be five
minutes to five hours, that you cannot recall, no
matter how much you try. You can’t remember
what others report you said and did while under the
influence.)
Drug or alcohol use doesn’t interfere with
their lives in any way. It simply enhances their
social lives and is used in good fun.
2) Abusive Users also drink or use drugs
recreationally, can control their intake, and can
start and stop when they choose. For the most part,
they can predict how much they will consume. But at
times, these individuals’ use is out of
control. They cannot predict the results and suffer
negative consequences such as DUI citations (or if
not given a ticket, being stopped for poor
driving), blackouts, verbal and physical fights
with family, friends or partners, and risking
sexually transmitted diseases—to name a
few.
But abusers will take these negative
consequences as a wake-up call. To avoid the
negative consequences, they either reduce their
intake permanently or stop altogether. They may
experience one or two further negative experiences
from their abusive use of drugs or alcohol, decide
never to indulge to that degree again—and they
don’t. They take responsibility and are
accountable for the consequences of their own use
and resolve them immediately.
3) Addictive Users drink or use drugs
recreationally too, but aren’t in control.
When they experience a negative consequence they
might stop for a while but not for long. Ultimately
they return to their former amount and frequency
and may even use more over time. They cannot
predict how much they use or how often they use it
and their negative consequences become abundant.
The definition of addiction is any behavior or
activity that interferes with your life in some
way, but which you continue to do despite the
negative consequences.
Unlike the abuser, the addict suffers many more
negative consequences such as blackouts,
DUI’s, and risks STD’s. Typically they
will blame others for their own mishaps,
complaining that “Michigan’s driving laws
are too strict,” or “My friends and
family complain too much.” They often truly
believe their own excuses and will say, “I can
stop whenever I want. I just don’t want
to.”
If you’ve been experiencing loss of
control, failed in your attempts to stop or cut
down, increased your tolerance whereby you’re
using more to achieve the same high as before, and
continue to use in spite of negative consequences,
then you have an addiction. I highly recommend you
seek professional help immediately or attend an AA
or NA meeting. For more information on where to
find these groups call Affirmations at
248-398-7105. For more information on Crystal Meth
go to www.tweaker.org
©2009 by Joe Kort
Related: Issues,
Books
Psychotherapist
Joe Kort, MA, MSW, has been in practice since 1985.
He specializes in Gay Affirmative Psychotherapy as
well as IMAGO Relationship Therapy, which is a
specific program involving communication exercises
designed for couples to enhance their relationship
and for singles to learn relationship skills. He
also specializes in sexual addiction, childhood
sexual, physical and emotional abuse, depression
and anxiety. He offers workshops for couples and
singles. He runs a gay men's group therapy and a
men's sexuality group therapy for straight, bi and
gay men who are struggling with specific sexual
issues. His therapy services are for gays and
lesbians as well as heterosexuals. His articles and
columns have appeared in The Detroit Free
Press, Between the Lines Newspaper for
Gays and Lesbians, The Detroit News, The
Oakland Press, The Royal Oak Mirror, and
other publications. Besides providing therapy for
individuals and couples, he conducts a number of
groups and workshops for gay men. Now an adjunct
professor teaching Gay and Lesbian Studies at Wayne
State University's School of Social Work, he is
doing more writing and workshops on a national
level. He is the author of 10
Smart Things Gay Men can do to Improve Their
Lives and
10
Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Find Real
Love.
www.joekort.com
or E-Mail
*
Gaydar
(gay'.dahr, n.): (1) The
ability that lets gays and lesbians identify one
other. (2) This column--where non-gay readers can
improve their gaydar, learning more about gay men's
psychology and social lives. Also, (3) a regular
feature where gay readers can discover the many
questions and hassles their straight
counterparts--and themselves--must face!
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