Middle-Age
Relationships

Single mom finds love after all


Some of you will be able to relate to Bobbe's story. I certainly can. The message: Adversity often turns into opportunity, although the opportunity might take time to materialize.

Bobbe said, "At age 29, with children aged four and one, my husband had an affair and decided he no longer wanted to be married to me. I raised my children as a single parent. It was very difficult but thank goodness for my nursing degree. I lived in Illinois."

Thirty years later, when Bobbe was 59, her daughter bought her a membership in Match.com. The year that followed was uneventful dating wise. Then, she tried Yahoo! Personals.

In 2004, she received an email from Bob who lived in California. He was using his brother's computer while visiting in Illinois and wanted to become friends. Bob was raised in Lake Forest, Illinois, never had children, was age 60, and had been a widower for 10 years. They corresponded for a year.

The following Thanksgiving, Bob invited Bobbe to visit him at his other home in Florida. She said, "I was petrified and my kids were devastated and scared for me to go.

"When he picked me up at the airport, it was like MAGIC. After a week together, we each flew back and forth between Calif. and Illinois for three years."

Bob and Bobbe faced the long-distance relationship dilemma. Neither wanted to move: Bob had his law practice in California; Bobbe had her nursing career and entire family in Illinois.

Finally, in September, 2007, they solved their dilemma. "I quit my job, sold my home, and at the age of 64, moved to California. The first four months I cried a lot due to missing my kids and grandkids and adjusting to living with someone other than myself."

Since then, Bobbe and Bob have traveled often and settled in with each other. They came by my Dana Point, California, deli to introduce themselves.

A few days ago, Bobbe emailed: "Bob and I were married on 3/13/2010, in Long Beach, in a private ceremony with our witnesses. It was beautiful and the happiest I have ever been. I did miss my family, but this summer when we go back to ILL (for my Mom's 89th BD), we will celebrate big time.

"We have plans to go to Hawaii on our honeymoon and will travel as much as we can."

To some of you, Bobbe's story about moving from Illinois to California at age 64 may sound familiar. The reason: Her story is chapter one of my book, "How 50 Couples Found Love After 50."

But the marriage part of her story is new news. And I am thrilled for two nice people who found love after 60 and who worked hard to make it happen. Their story gives hope and inspiration to all of us.

© 2010, Tom Blake

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Tom Blake is an expert on dating after 50. He has appeared twice on the "Today Show" and has written more than 500 columns on dating and relationships. His "Single Again" column appears in The Orange County Register in southern California, is read worldwide and is often featured on msn.com. He is a professional speaker. He spoke at the national AARP convention in San Diego in 2002, and in Chicago. His book, Middle Aged and Dating Again, is a humorous account of his first year of dating after his third divorce. His second book is Finding Love After 50: How to begin, where to go, what to do. His latest book is titled How 50 Couples Found Love after 50. To ask a question or receive Tom's free weekly column on middle-age dating and relationships by e-mail, click on www.findingloveafter50.com or E-Mail.



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